Less Than Human
by QuirkyQwerty101
Summary: "Eren! Are you listening!" Hange followed his gaze to the roof, where Levi and Miria sat quietly in embrace. "Are they..." Eren trailed off, not knowing how to finish his question. "Levi and Miria have been friends for a long time. They've been through a lot. I think when one is suffering, the other just knows." "I thought Captain Levi-" "He's not as invincible as you think."
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! So, I recently posted another story called "Only Human" and when I first started it, there were two different directions that I was thinking about taking the main character, Miria. Initially, I was only going to do one, but the more I started working on one over the other, the more I started to like the story line of the other (you can't win, right?). So, I decided to post both and let you guys decide. Do you prefer one over the other? Would you like to see both continue on? Are they different enough for it to be worth it? Let me know what you think!

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

* * *

 _Year 850:_

* * *

"Nice work today, Eren!" Hange exclaimed, patting the tired recruit's back. "I feel we've gotten one step closer to the truth!"

"I'm glad you think so…." Eren replied, resting against a tree truck, and eventually sliding down into a sitting position when his legs threatened to give out below him. "I feel just as confused as before." He looked past Hange to the roof of the Survey Corps headquarters, drowning out her scientific ramblings. _Captain Levi…._ The lone captain sat, staring up at the stars. Miria walked up behind him, kissing the top of his head and sitting with her chest pressed up against his back. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, digging her fingernails into his body until they closed into a fist, holding onto his shirt. She laid her head just above his shoulder blades. Levi craned his neck back until his head rested on the top of hers. He stroked her arm, and they just sat.

"Eren! Are you listening?!" Hange followed his gaze to the roof. "Hm?"

"Are they…." Eren trailed off, not knowing how to finish his sentence. Hange sat next to Eren, pulling up her goggles to her forehead.

"Levi and Miria have been friends for a long time. They've gone through a lot together. I think when one is suffering, the other just instinctively knows and offers comfort." she explained in a rare moment of seriousness.

"I thought Captain Levi—"

"He's not as invincible as you think." Hange replied, already knowing his question.

* * *

 _Year 842:_

* * *

Miria scowled at the reflection of her naked body in the mirror. Seeing it disgusted her. _Miria, if you don't eat properly you won't be fit for the title of a noble lady. Eat just enough to fill out your hips, not enough to fill out your stomach._ Her father's words mercilessly echoed in her mind. A soft knock interrupted her thoughts and she dug her perfectly manicured fingernails into her palms until they threatened to break the skin. Her father stepped into the room. She didn't have to meet his gaze. She could feel his creepy smile from the moment he entered, and the dull thud of every step he took to close the distance between them sank her heart lower and lower. She could feel her stomach churn in discomfort as he ran his fingers up her arm. It took everything in her to keep her skin from visibly crawling.

"You must be cold." he remarked, running his hand over the goosebumps across her chest.

"No." Miria replied plainly. She was disgusted. She hated his inspections and she wanted to tell him that his very presence gave her chills. She would feel less shame marching naked down the streets of the capital. He circled her slowly, letting his eyes take in every inch of her body like a hungry predator. No…he **was** a predator, and Miria refused to be his prey. He finally stopped behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders and staring at her reflection. She looked back at him through the mirror.

"You're turning into a real woman. Your mother would be proud." _Fuck you. My mother would have slit your throat in your sleep, you pig._ "You look just like her. She was short and petite, too, and just like you, blessed with curves. Large breasts, large hips fit for birthing, and a large…." he trailed off, running his fingers down Miria's right side, and resting his hand on her buttocks. Tears stung her eyes.

"I have her eyes…." Miria barely whispered, no longer able to bear the sight of her reflection. She averted her gaze to the ground.

"Hm? Well, yes. Her hair and face, too." her father responded halfheartedly. "I see those combat lessons with Nile are paying off. Your stomach was beginning to look less flat, and I could hardly see your ribs. I'm glad you're tightening up. Just be careful not to put on too much muscle. Get dressed. Our guests should be here soon." He walked out and Miria waited for his footsteps to fade off into the distance before she allowed herself to fall apart. Tears flowed freely from her eyes now, and she dropped to her knees, holding herself and hunched over into a fetal position. She choked, hiccuped, and gagged, but when she emerged from her room an hour later to greet the guests, she was a perfectly behaved, perfectly dressed noble woman. She smiled and held her father's arm, pretending that her life was the picturesque fairy tale that he had always tried so hard to portray. She laughed at the horrendous jokes the royal council members made. She expressed her unwavering, though completely feigned, support for the royal family. She made sure to put in her time with all of her father's important business and political contacts. When the act became unbearable, she stepped into the study to temporarily relieve herself of duty.

"General Zackly…?" Miria asked the dark silhouette in the moonlit room. She shut the door behind her and walked closer to him. Darius turned to face her and Miria smiled. His light eyes caught the gleam of the moonlight, even through his round, thick glasses. The wrinkles around them deepened as he grinned at her. "I see you also needed a break from the verbal masturbation of the nobles."

"Young lady! Is that any way for you to speak of our government?!" Darius exclaimed in anger. Miria met his glare, shocked by the sudden outburst. "You say noble like those inbred fuckers know the meaning of the word." A smile appeared across both their faces, and eventually devolved into laughter. Miria ran into Darius' arms, hugging him tightly. "I've missed you, dear."

"I missed you, too." She rested her head on his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat soothe her.

"Let me look at you." Darius placed his hands on Miria's shoulders and pulled her away, staring down at her face. "My…you look just like your mother." He gently placed his large hand under her chin, lifting up her face. "You have her eyes." She smiled.

"Really?"

"Yes. You even have the same ferocity in your eyes that your mother did. I remember when I first met her. This tiny girl, no more than a hundred and fifty centimeters tall, just like you, was rampaging through the royal halls. I thought to myself then: 'I better not get on her bad side.' She was smart, cunning, and beautiful. I know she would have been proud that her daughter lived up to her legacy." Miria fought back tears and held Darius' hand in both of hers, resting her face in his palm.

"I think she would have been happy to know her best friend was looking after me and teaching me to become those things."

"Well, I better get back before one of the noblemen realizes there's no one kissing their ass." Darius joked, running a hand through his grey locks and scratching his scruffy beard. Miria chuckled and nodded, batting her long dark lashes to avoid ruining her makeup with tears. "It was good to see you, Miria." She watched him exit the room and walked over to a portrait of her mother. The painting was so realistic, like the artist had captured that moment in time. She traced her fingers across the outline of her mother's face. They had the same vibrant brown eyes, glowing olive skin, narrow nose, full pink lips, and long, silky, curly, dark brown hair. Miria had even styled her hair the same as her mothers. Side swept bangs that ended at her eyebrows, and small sections of hair pulled back from her temples, pinned together at the back of her head, and flowing down to her lower back with the rest of her loose curls.

"I wish I was as strong as you, mom." Miria whispered. She bit her lip and took a deep breath. "But I'll find a way to be happy. I don't want you to worry about that." Miria turned and walked out of the study, re-engaging with the party that had barely noticed her absence.

"Miria, come!" She flinched at the sound of her father's voice, but dutifully and obediently walked over with a smile, like a dog being called by her master. "I want to introduce you to a very good friend of mine, Councilman Nicholas Lovof, and his associate, Petrus Heiden." Miria observed the older man and his younger accomplice. She ignored their lust-filled looks and did what she had always done.

"It's such an honor to meet you, councilman. My father has told me so much about your efforts to reign in frivolous military spending. I wish you all the luck in the world." Miria looked at her father, who seemed content with her display.

"Well, I do what I can." Nicholas said, taking Miria's hand and kissing the top. "After all, someone has to make sure you go wanting for nothing." _Wanting for nothing…._ It was so strange to hear. Miria had grown up in mansions, ate the finest food, received the finest education, dressed in the finest clothes, and lived a life of lavished wealth. Her father had started a philanthropic effort to provide medical care for the people of the Underground, and as a result, Miria had constant access to the finest doctors. She began her medical training on her thirteenth birthday with a prominent doctor who had cured a devastating plague that threatened to wipe out large swaths of humanity. In the short span of two years, Dr. Yeager had reported back to her father, stating that she had a propensity for medicine that should be nurtured. It was the most excited she had been about anything in a long time. But her father quickly brought the reality of her existence crashing down on her dream, as he usually did. _Fine, nurture as you must, Dr. Yeager. However, let us not forget Miria's true purpose. Medicine is a good skill, but she is a noble woman. I will not allow studies of medicine to interfere with her preparations into womanhood. Finding a suitable man to care for her and bringing children into this world to inherit my work is her place, not among doctors and disease-ridden peasants._ She cherished her lessons with Dr. Yeager. However, now every passing lesson and every passing week reminded her that she was marching to her gallows. They were just disguised as a marriage bed. _Wanting for nothing._ Yes, it was strange. Miria longed for the one thing she didn't have: freedom.

"Lady Miria?" Miria's eyes snapped up as she was pulled out of her thoughts by the soft voice.

"I'm sorry, I—yes, what is it?" she asked the young man. "Petrus, was it?"

"Yes." He flashed a smile, clearly happy that she had remembered his name, no matter how brief the period between their introductions. "I've heard so much about you, it's such a pleasure to meet you. You really are as beautiful as they say."

"Thank you…." Miria mumbled, looking over to where her father and Nicholas had wandered off, busy in their discussion of finances.

"It must be nice being able to attend so many parties. Your father really knows how to have a good time." Miria turned her attention back to Petrus for a brief second. He stared at her, eagerly awaiting her response. He clearly liked her, and as cruel as it sounded, she had no interest in wasting her time with this unimportant cog. If she was not required to speak to her father's unbearable guests, she was not going to, and Petrus certainly did not make the list in terms of wealth or power. He was Nicholas' plus one, and she had no obligation to keep him entertained.

"Yes, it's fine." Miria replied with a fleeting smile. "If you'll excus—"

"I've heard from Commander Nile that you enjoy stories of the Underground." Petrus cut in, desperate to keep the conversation going. Miria paused, curiosity peaked. "Especially about Levi." A jolt of electricity flowed through her body and Miria felt the hair on the back of her neck stand.

"Levi the Invincible?" she asked with a smile.

"The very same." Petrus replied. He had to have been feeling good about himself at that moment. "As a consultant to the royal council, it's my job to stay up to date on all of these kinds of things."

"So, you could tell me some stories as well?" Miria grabbed Petrus' hand and held it close to her chest. His knuckles brushed against the silk of her strapless, blue dress and the tops of her breasts.

"Of course." He took in a sharp breath, probably trying to determine which was softer: her skin or the silk.

"Follow me." Miria led him to her study. It was smaller than her father's but so out of the way that she could almost guarantee no one would find them. She lit a lantern, placing it on the carved table next to a luxurious couch. She took a seat and patted the cushion next to her. "Tell me everything."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Alright! Chapter 2! I'm plugging away on chapter 3 today. So, expect that soon, and hopefully that provides a better-ish idea of the story line.

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

* * *

Miria sat in her study and stared at the map of the Underground. She repeatedly ran her finger across the one red x that stained the paper.

* * *

 _"These are all stories I've heard before, Mr. Heiden. Do you really have nothing new to tell me?" Miria asked, leaving her seat on the couch and making her way to the window._

 _"Well, I can't divulge top secret information." Petrus said, following her every move._

 _"But you promised me information!" Miria turned to face him. She could tell immediately that he was falling for her doe-eyed façade. She turned her head slightly, conjuring up tears. "Did you lie to me just to get me alone? How indecent!" Petrus stood, quickly making his way toward her and grabbed her hands in his._

 _"No, no, of course not." he assured. Miria tried so hard not to smirk._ You stupid man. Any girl could bat her eyes at you, and you would soften in an instant for her to manipulate, wouldn't you? _Petrus sighed. "Well, we have informants in the Underground who think they've narrowed Levi's hideout." Miria's eyes widened._ Levi's hideout…. _This was it. This was the information she needed. This was all she needed to buy her freedom._

 _"How did you come by something so fantastic?!" Miria's eyes glittering with intrigue._

 _"Well..." Petrus began with a cocky smirk. "...my specialty is information gathering. We got our information from criminals that were arrested."_

 _"How do you know their information is any good?" He seemed surprised by her question._

 _"Well, their gangs are in opposition. These criminals will be released after a few months to a few years, back into the Underground. It benefits them to give us as much information about Levi as they can. The Underground isn't that big. They want to cut down their competition."_

 _"How is it that these hardened criminals are getting such light sentences?" Miria inquired. She noticed Petrus' eyes narrow and wondered if his guard was going back up. She moved in closer to him, placing her hands on his chest and lifting her brow in feigned concern. "Won't they come to hurt us?" He smiled and took the opportunity to wrap one arm around her waist. He stroked her face. She tried not to gag. Clearly, an intelligent woman threatened him. He found it suspicious. However, as soon as she made ignorant statements and pretended to be a frightened little child, he relaxed. It made sense to him. Of course, a woman couldn't be intelligent and calculating. She smiled at him when she felt like scowling._

 _"My dear Miria, don't worry. I'll always keep you safe. Besides there isn't much these criminals are guilty of. There are some in the Underground guilty of much more, but these are thieves—smugglers. They may have assaulted people, but they wouldn't dare lift a hand against anyone in the capital."_

 _"Can you…can you help me?" Miria asked, turning away, pretending to be ashamed._

 _"With what?" Petrus turned her face back toward him._

 _"Well…." Miria let out a small laugh. "Nile is so kind. He tells me so many stories about the Underground and he describes these amazing places, but I'm so bad with maps. Can you help me read them?"_

 _"Of course. Do you have a map of the Underground?" She nodded, leading him over to her desk and pulling out a large, detailed map. Petrus took a seat in front of it, and Miria sat on his lap, draping her arms around his neck and making sure she was keeping him wrapped around her finger. She spent an hour or so pretending to hang onto his every word, letting him ramble on about himself. Miria did what she had always done: stroke his ego for her own benefit._

 _"Okay, so this is the toll booth?" Miria asked a question that she already knew the answer to in order to amuse her puppet. She let him have the satisfaction of thinking he had taught her something valuable._

 _"That's right."_

 _"And this is where my father's doctors treat people?"_

 _"Correct."_

 _"These are the extremely impoverished ghettos that not even the Military Police wander into?"_

 _"Excellent. Good job." Petrus smiled and ran his hand down the small of Miria's back._

 _"And where is Levi in all of this?" she inquired, leaning into his touch and bringing her lips centimeters from his._

 _"Well, we don't know." Petrus replied, picking up a pen and leaning over to inspect the map. "But we think…he's right here." He drew an x and Miria's heart began to pound. He turned back toward her, one hand on her lower back, pulling her in closer to him, and the other moving up her exposed leg until it reached the end of the slit in her dress. He was clearly hoping for more than her undying gratitude. Miria smiled and planted a soft kiss on his lips, standing up and putting away her map._

 _"We should get back before anyone gets suspicious…." she whispered, leading him out of the room._

 _"Ah, Lady Miria, now I believe you're being indecent. Using a man for his information and then leaving him wanting more." Miria chuckled at his response._

 _"Don't worry, Mr. Heiden. You'll have plenty more opportunity to repay me for my betrayal." she lied._

* * *

"Miria? Are you in there?" Nile's voice broke through her day dreams, and Miria rushed to put away her map.

"Y-yes! Come in!" she yelled, tucking the priceless document into a hidden compartment of her drawer. The door creaked open and Nile poked his head in.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, sorry. I was looking over some of Dr. Yeager's notes. I had no idea how quickly time can pass when you're studying." Miria responded, fastening her boots and quickly checking her appearance in a mirror. Her combat lessons were the only times she was allowed to wear pants. They were comfortable, easy to move in, and she felt like she could take down anyone. She tightened the bobby pins that kept the sides of her hair back.

"Really? I always seemed to have the opposite problem." Nile responded with a laugh. "But there's so much I'll never understand about you."

"Like what?" Miria asked as they made their way to the backyard.

"Like how you can train with your hair down and so long." Nile took a lock of her silky curls into his hand, and Miria laughed. "Or your obsessions with the Underground and Levi."

"Well, as long as I pin the sides back, it doesn't get in my way." Miria pulled the lock out of his hand and tossed it behind her shoulder. "And I have an interest in the medical work that my father sponsors. Naturally, I would be interested in the place where it occurs, and the most notorious gang leader from that place. It's a foreign world to me, Nile. Can you really not understand why it fascinates me?"

"No." He was honest. "I might be able to justify the world outside of the walls, but I can't understand the interest in a crime ridden, disease festering, subterranean city.

"Well, which of those is more practical for me to visit?"

"Neither!"

"Come on, Nile! Just take me down there with a team of doctors. I just want to help! My medical studies mean NOTHING if I can't put them into practice."

"Absolutely not. Do you have any idea how dangerous it is? Hell, do you have any idea what your father would do to me if something happened to you?"

"What if my father agrees?"

"Yea, if your father agrees, I'll take you myself." Nile cackled, clearly unwilling to accept it as a possibility.

"My fifteenth birthday already passed, and he has yet to buy me a gift. You know how he likes to dote."

"Usually with expensive dresses and jewelry, not dangerous expeditions." Nile corrected. "But if you're going to travel down there, you'll need much better form. You'll also need to expect the unexpected." He quickly dropped down, extending his leg and sweeping Miria's out from underneath her with a swift kick. She let out a small gasp as she landed on her butt.

"Oww…I wasn't ready." she groaned.

"The Underground does not wait for your permission, Lady Miria!" _This is going to be a long lesson._

* * *

Miria sunk into a warm bath to ease her sore muscles. She took a handful of soap bubbles and blew them across the bathroom, setting them free from the confines of the tub. In just a few short weeks, she too would gain her freedom. She would no longer be her father's commodity. She would no longer fear the sale of her body. She would be free from aristocrats, nobles, royalty, parties, tight dresses, high heels, and most importantly, her father. She sat in the tub a bit longer, rehearsing her lines and practicing her expressions. When she felt her act could not longer be distinguished from reality, she stepped out of the warm comfort of the water, and into her cold, silk nightgown. She dragged herself down the stairs and stood in front of her father's study, taking in a deep breath before she knocked on the door.

"Come in." His voice was sickening no matter the context. She opened the door just enough for her body to slip in, and promptly closed it behind her.

"Father…." He didn't look up from his books, but rather just hummed an acknowledgement of her existence. "Could I borrow your nice paper and stamp?" He glanced up at her over his glasses.

"What for?"

"O…." Miria sheepishly rubbed her arm and offered a melodic little laugh. "Well, a few of your business partners wrote to me, wishing me a happy birthday, and I just thought it would be polite for me to write back, thanking them for their kindness."

"Your birth—" His eyes widened. "I…I had completely forgotten. Miria!" He stood from his chair and quickly embraced her. _Your touch is poison, old man._ "Please forgive me."

"It's fine, father. I know you've been busy. I don't mind."

"Tell me what you want. Name anything! A party obviously goes without saying."

"Actually…there is something I've wanted to do for a long time." Miria gazed up at her father with a doting smile.

"Name it."

"In a few days your doctors are making house calls around Mitras. I was just wondering if I could accompany them...on the house calls. I'd just like to try it." Miria could see the wheels turning in his head as he retreated to his desk. He flipped through paperwork, stopping at one page and tracing his finger down the length as he read.

"Yes…they'll be departing for the Underground in the morning, returning just after sunset, and finishing their day with house calls at night." Miria flinched. She had intentionally left out any mention of the Underground. Would he find it suspicious? Would he just assume she didn't know? Had Nile said anything to him about her obsession with the Underground and Levi?

"It's only for five days. That's all. We could have the party once it's over." she quickly offered.

"Five days, hm? I suppose that's fine." Miria let out a sigh of relief and smiled.

"Thank you, father! I don't know how to repay your kindness." _Just a little more._ "If you'd like, I can take over for some of your public appearances. Nile has agreed to accompany me to and from the doctors' offices every day, and I can take over for some of your less important contacts in the morning so that they still feel appreciated by our family."

"You truly are becoming a remarkable woman." _And you're as stupid as ever._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! So I'm up to three chapters in both stories. Let me know what you guys think and which one you prefer-or if you like both and want both to keep going.

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

* * *

It was the perfect plan. Miria was anxious and giddy as she smoothed out her dress and hair in the mirror. Well, maybe perfect was an overstatement, but it was pretty damn good. She left her room and descended the stairs to find Nile and her father chatting.

"Aren't you going to be late for your meetings?" Miria asked her father, trying to feel out their conversation.

"Ah! Miria! You look beautiful! Yes, I just wanted to see you on your first day as my consultant." he replied. Miria forced a smile and took Nile's arm. "I better get going before I lose any business. Good luck." He leaned down and kissed her cheek. _Three…two…one…._ As her father picked up the pace down the stairs, Miria suddenly spoke up.

"O! Father!" He only slowed as he turned.

"Nile will be escorting me to and from the doctors' offices as they return from their rounds over the next five days. I just wanted to assure him that I have your blessing."

"Yes, yes!" He waved, turning his back again.

"Are you sure, sir?!" Nile asked again. "It could be dangerous." _You're wasting your time, Nile. He never pays attention when he's running late._

"You'll be with her!" Just like that, he disappeared into his carriage.

"I told you I'd convince him." Miria looked up at Nile with a little smirk.

"Clearly I misjudged the situation." Nile replied, still in shock.

"I can be very persuasive."

* * *

Miria had laid out all of the ground work. She would spend the days approaching the expeditions to the Underground dazzling her father's contacts. They would send him letters, bump into him in the streets, and declare their love for her. They would tell her father how incredible she was, how at ease they felt with her representation of his businesses. Her father would loosen his grip ever so slightly. Just enough for Miria to slip past him in the mornings. She would greet him every morning, making sure that he saw her in all of the fine trappings of a noble woman. After all, who would ever suspect her of going to the Underground in a formal dress and gorgeous jewelry—a single piece of which could buy food for an entire family for months? He would no longer be waiting for Nile to make sure she had an escort. He would be comfortable enough to assume it was the case. He would simply slip away to his meetings and Miria would change into her comfortable pants, boots, and shirt. She would treat her patients, return in her pants, and her father would ask her how her house calls went, not really listening for an answer, but rather just fulfilling his obligation to ask. Despite how self-assured she was, Miria still felt anxiety wash over her on the first day of the Underground expeditions. She woke up early, applied her make-up, styled her hair, slipped on a formal dress and large pieces of jewelry, and came down stairs for the sole purpose of being seen by her father.

"Aren't you ready a little early?" he asked when she stepped into the dining room and sat across the table from him. Despite its length, Miria didn't feel far enough away. If she could have opted to sit in another house all together, she would have preferred it.

"Always better to be early than late, right?" Miria smiled at the servant who poured her a cup of tea. "I wanted to read a little before I started my meetings. I just want to make sure I'm putting the best face on our family."

"Hmm…." He had clearly stopped listening a while ago, content with her response. It was fine. She preferred to be under his radar of suspicion. "I need to get going."

"Have a good day." Miria sipped her tea and waited for the sound of the front door to slam. "Now that he's gone…can you feed me?" she asked the servant who was picking up her father's plates. The girl laughed and nodded.

"I'll bring out some fruit."

"Bring out everything. I have a long day ahead of me." Miria rushed up the stairs, changed, rushed down, nearly inhaled her food, and barely managed to compose herself by the time Nile showed up at her door.

"I can't believe you're making me take you to the Underground." Nile shook his head.

"That's the third time you've said that. It's happening. Get good with it." Miria responded, taking the doctor's coat he had in his hands.

"Just stay close, okay?"

"You worry too much, Nile." Miria jumped into the carriage that awaited her and peeked through the windows, barely able to contain her excitement. Her legs fidgeted. She readjusted herself every few minutes. "Are we there yet?" she asked for the fifteenth time.

"If a merciful god exists." Nile groaned, rubbing his temples. The carriage slowed to a stop and he looked up at Miria.

"Correlation, not causation." she replied with a giggle, jumping out.

"Hey, wait!" Nile followed close behind the girl as she made her way to the team of waiting doctors. She could barely pay attention during the introductions and instructions, absorbing just enough information to feel her way around the process. The Military Police began to lead the doctors down a guarded staircase.

"Is that the entrance?" she whispered to Nile, observing the plain appearance. She would never guessed it was the entrance to a secret underground world. It could have been mistaken for the entrance to someone's basement. It was no more than a mere hole in the ground. He nodded. "I thought it might be more fanciful than that…."

"I don't know why you'd think that." he snickered. The line moved slowly as supplies were carried down the stairway. Even once halfway down, Miria stood on her toes and groaned in frustration.

"I can't see anything!" She cursed her short height, stomping her foot. Nile sighed and bent down, wrapping his arm around her thighs, and keeping his shoulder beneath her buttocks. "You're the best." Miria held onto him for balance and gasped in amazement as her head rose well above the crowd. It was breathtaking. The Underground stretched on as far as she could see. Columns of stone held up the cave ceiling, and lights from the crowded houses gave it a serene glow. "Wow…." Miria whispered.

"You won't be saying that once you smell it." Nile commented, dropping the girl down to her feet. Waves of emotion came over her. She wasn't sure what she was feeling, but she loved it. This was the first taste of her freedom. It wasn't her mansion. It wasn't the capital. It wasn't any of the things that she was used to, but she was going to make a home for herself here. The convoy eventually reached the ground and began to set up medical tents. Soldiers shouted instructions for people to line up for treatment and how they would pay.

"We're charging them?" Miria asked Nile. "I thought this was philanthropic."

"It is…sort of. They pay a fraction of the normal price." Nile explained. She furrowed her brow in anger. _Of course. How inconceivable that he would help anyone out of the goodness of his heart._ Miria sighed and made her way over to her assigned tent. She traced the name plate. _Dr. Miria Antoun._ It was a bit of a stretch, but not by much. She was close.

"You know you can't come in here with me, right?" Miria turned toward Nile who was tightly clutching his rifle. He opened his mouth to object and she cut him off. "Patients won't trust me if they see a Military Policeman hanging around. I need them to open up to me. Please, Nile. I'll be fine. You'll be close by the entire time and there are tons of other doctors around to help me, but I can't compromise the level of care I provide because they're afraid to talk." Nile gave her a thoughtful look, clearly struggling with the decision. "Trust me." That was all it took. Miria felt a pang of guilt. Nile shouldn't have trusted her. She was manipulating him just as much as anyone else, but he didn't deserve it. He had been nothing but kind to her, relieving her of the day to day hell that she experienced. No, she couldn't afford to soften now. If she was going to be successful, she had to be ruthless. Miria slipped into the tent and pulled out a map. She laid it out on her desk and smirked. There was no red x on this one, not that she needed it. She had memorized its exact position. Now all the remained to be seen is if she could corroborate the story. She engaged in small talk with each patient that walked in, asking them about their lives as she bandaged a wound, or drained pus from an infection, or set a broken bone. It helped them to keep their mind off the pain, and it helped her build a trusting relationship. Her script was permanently burned into her mind by sheer repetition. _This is my first time in the Underground. I had heard so many stories. Do you know of Levi? Have you ever seen him?_ Some had replied yes, while others speculated. His sightings were all over the map. Miria frowned at the abhorrently scattered data between patients. _Maybe I just need to ask more people…._

"Um…excuse me." Miria turned to see a young man at the entrance of the tent. He was tall, towering over her, but seemed like such a gentle giant. Short brown hair, soft brown eyes, and a timid voice. She smiled at him.

"Please, come in. Have a seat." He averted his gaze from her and slowly made his way to the patient cot. Miria noticed a slight limp. "My name is Miria. Can you take off your shirt for me, please?" He hesitantly complied, unbuttoning his red vest and white collared shirt. He handed them to Miria and she carefully hung them up on a coat rack. "What's your name?"

"Yan." he replied.

"Nice to meet you, Yan. I'm going to listen to your heart and lungs." Miria rubbed the stethoscope in her hands and Yan smiled. "What?" she asked, smiling back at him.

"You're the first doctor who's warmed that thing before putting it on me." Yan kept his eyes low, smiling, but not meeting hers.

"Well, they could use a lesson in bedside manners." She leaned down and placed the warm metal on his chest. _Strong heartbeat._ She moved it to the left side of his back. "Take a deep breath in." _Normal._ She moved it to the right. "One more deep breath." _Also normal._ Miria scribbled a few notes on a sheet and sat across from Yan. "So, what brings you in today, Yan?"

"My legs…they've been weak."

"Can you take off the rest of your clothes for me? I'm going to do a full physical examination." Miria diligently went over every diagnostic test with Yan. When she reached his legs, she could see the swelling and bruising on them. She pushed down on the narrowest parts of the shin bone and he flinched, hissing in pain. "I'm sorry." Miria thought for a minute. "What do you do for a living, Yan?" The man seemed to tense up. He met Miria's eyes for the first time. Shame, sorrow, guilt. They were all there in the brief glance they exchanged. Miria had known that most people in the Underground stole or died. Very few had jobs. Very few could survive through ethical means. However, it had always been a throwaway fact. Something that she had known but never really stopped to consider. Yan had the same look on his face that she had in every interaction with her father. Shame, sorrow, guilt. She knew how trapped and helpless he must have felt. "Please understand, I don't ask to condemn you. I'm not connected with the Military Police and I'm under no obligation to report anything to them. I just need to know what kind of a lifestyle you lead so I can determine if it could be contributing to these injuries." Yan clenched his jaw and furrowed his brow. She wasn't going to give up on him. "Do you run a lot?" He seemed surprised by the question. He looked up at her, and she smiled. "More than a couple hours a day?" He nodded. "Do you jump a lot? Maybe from high places or in a way that puts a lot of pressure on your shins?" He nodded again. "Do you carry heavy items when you run or jump?" Another nod. "Do you have sufficient food to eat?" There was no nod this time. Yan turned away and shook his head. Miria crouched down to his legs and carefully lifted one. She sat across from him in a chair and placed his foot on her lap. "Does that help the pain?" Yan focused for a minute and nodded. "Do you often feel sore, tired, cold?" He nodded. "Do you catch colds and fevers easily?"

"Yes…." Miria pointed to his leg.

"There are a few different things happening. The general bruising we see up and down your body points to malnutrition. You need more food and better food. Fruits, vegetables, meats—"

"I can't afford that." Yan whispered.

"The malnutrition and the lack of sunlight is showing deficiencies in your bones. They're weaker and more prone to breaking." She pointed to the regional bruising and swelling on his leg. "These are fractures. They're tiny cracks in your legs that will only heal with rest. You need to eat, and you need to rest. Meaning no running, no jumping, and minimal walking. You should stay in bed as often as you can."

"How long?" Miria didn't look up from his leg. She knew it was unrealistic.

"At least six months."

"I can't afford that…." Yan repeated. Tears welled up in Miria's eyes. She hated this. "How much do I owe you?" Miria carefully put his leg down and walked over to her bag. She dug through the pockets until she came across her wad of emergency cash. She handed it to Yan.

"This is five hundred. They'll ask for thirty for the treatment."

"This is—" Miria didn't stop to listen. She immediately pulled out a vial and a syringe. She poured alcohol on a cloth and carefully rubbed down Yan's legs.

"I'm going to inject you with a steroid. It'll help your muscles pick up the slack for your bones. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't rest. It just means that it will help you get through the next couple of weeks. I can't administer the full dose today. It needs to be done slowly over the course of three days."

"I—" Miria cut him off again.

"Come back tomorrow and the day after for another two doses. I'll need to see you once more after the doses to make sure there are no adverse effects. I'll bring enough food to last you for a few weeks, so you can eat proper meals and—"

"Why are you doing this?" Yan finally spoke over her. Miria didn't look up at him. Instead, she just gently pressed gauze against the injection site, wrapping it up for him.

"We don't control the circumstances we come into this world by…but don't ever feel guilty for doing what you need to do to survive." Miria's eyes snapped up and met his. "You are no less deserving simply because life backed you into a corner. We all do what we have to do to survive."

"You're saving my life…."

"No, I'm just providing you the tools you need to save your own life. You're far from the clear." Miria stood and tossed the syringe as Yan redressed.

"I don't know how I can ever repay you…but if you ever need anything…." She took in his words. _What the hell._

"I don't suppose you could tell me where to find Levi?" Yan froze. In an instant, Miria turned from sheep to wolf. She carefully watched his reaction.

"Why would you want to do something like that? Don't you know who Levi is?" Yan asked with a nervous laugh. _He knows something._ Miria looked down, eyes filled with crocodile tears.

"Yes…but it seems life has also backed me into a corner. He's my only chance at surviving. That's why I came here." Miria's voice quivered. "I'm sorry…." She turned away from Yan. "If I can't find him in the next five days…." She turned back to him after wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry to burden you. Your plate is plenty full, and it's not your concern." Miria sniffled and smiled at Yan. "I'll see you tomorrow, Yan." She returned to her documents, carefully observing the conflicted boy out of the corner of her eye. He turned to leave, but stopped.

"M-miria." She looked up at him, as if she were unaware that he was still standing there. "I'll see what I can find out."

"Really?" Miria took a few careful steps toward him and whispered. "Please don't put yourself in harm's way for me. I want you to rest and recover."

"I won't. I promise. I'll just see what I can find out." Yan smiled at her and Miria returned the sentiment. _Got you._


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Good God, I'm just pumping these out one by one when I definitely should be studying. Thanks for keeping me sane, guys!

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

* * *

"Hey, Yan." Furlan smiled, holding open the door for his comrade. "How'd your treatment go?" Yan carefully stepped into the house, taking a seat on the couch and rubbing his sore legs.

"It was strange." Yan replied.

"So, they still want to charge you a leg to fix the other?" Furlan half-joked, taking a seat across from him.

"She paid me…." Levi stopped cleaning his knife and looked over at Yan.

"Who paid you?" Furlan asked.

"The doctor." Yan clarified. "She told me I needed to take six months off to rest, and when I told her I couldn't, she gave me five hundred and injected me with medicine to help my legs. She said she needed to give me two more injections, and then she needed to look at my legs again, so I have to go back tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that. She said my legs are weak because I'm not eating the right food or enough food, and there's no sun." Furlan stiffened. "What's even more bizarre is that she told me she'd bring me a lot of food. Fruits, vegetables, meats…."

"How does a doctor have the money for all of that?!" Furlan asked.

"What's more suspicious is why she would do all that for a stranger." Levi added. "…did she say?"

"Kind of…. She knew what I did for a living when she was trying to find out what was wrong with my legs, but she asked me questions in a way that I wouldn't have to admit to it. She told me she wasn't with the Military Police, and I shouldn't be scared to tell her things. She just needed to know what I did so she could figure out what was wrong with me. She got really emotional when I told her I couldn't afford to take six months off. I could see her almost crying. She told me not to feel guilty for having to do what I had to do to survive, and that my circumstances weren't my fault. …she said something else, too." Yan turned and met Levi's gaze. "I thanked her, and said I didn't have much, but if I could ever do anything for her…. She said she needed to find Levi."

"Levi?! For what?" Furlan asked, also turning to stare at him.

"She didn't say exactly. Just that she was also backed into a corner by circumstances out of her control." Yan thought about Miria's face, how frightened and broken she had looked. How quickly she had turned to hide her distress and tears from him. "She looked really scared and said she only had five days. Though, I guess by now, she's down to four."

"What do you think?" Levi questioned, glancing at Furlan. Furlan rubbed his jaw in thought.

"It's hard for me to think anything with such little information. If she knew about Yan, she would trace him back to me, not you. Plus, it's not like that medical mess is set up for information gathering. Anyone outside our gang who knows where you are has a hefty warrant on their head. They wouldn't put themselves that close to the Military Police even if they were dying. Besides, even if they did, there's at least twenty doctors there. There's no guarantee they'd end up in her tent."

"Yan ended up in her tent." Levi corrected.

"Luck of the draw." Furlan assumed. "What did you think of her, Yan?"

"She seemed like a really kind and caring person. I believe her." Yan smiled, thinking about her stethoscope. "She even warmed her equipment before putting it on me, so it wouldn't be too cold."

"Sounds like you're in love." Furlan teased. Yan's cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"N-no! Nothing like that. Besides, she looked really young."

"Yea? How young?" Furlan asked.

"Maybe around fifteen."

"Go see her tomorrow and try to find out what she wants. Get as much information on her as you can. If nothing else, you'll get medicine and food. Report back once you know more." Levi returned to cleaning his knife. Despite his cool demeanor, Yan knew this must have been stressful for him. Being on any authority's radar was never a good thing.

"Yes, sir." Yan replied.

* * *

Miria stood outside of the room taking deep breaths. Nile couldn't help but to snicker.

"It's not funny." she hissed through gritted teeth. Another deep breath. "Just get through this. Last patient. Just get through it." she whispered to herself as she fanned her white shirt, hoping the red cough syrup wouldn't stain. She opened the door and picked up the spoon and medicine bottle that she had left on the dresser. Her determined gaze was met by the young boy she had been treating for a cough. "Listen. You don't like me, I get it. Lord knows I definitely hate you, but the sooner you drink this, the sooner I can leave, and the sooner you can feel better and go back to playing." The boy said nothing, and Miria slowly poured the syrup into the spoon. She lifted it toward his mouth and he swatted it out of her hand and onto her shirt…for the third time. Her fingers twitched, begging to strangle the life out of him. Miria stood up calmly and walked toward the door. She opened it and motioned Nile over.

"You have something…uh…" He pointed to her shirt, face, and hair." "…everywhere." Miria put on a forced, if not slightly psychotic smile.

"Nile…if you don't come in here and pin this little, rich, spoiled fucker down while I shove the remainder of this bottle down his throat, glass and all, I'm going to be become extremely unpleasant." Her voice was sweet and melodic, but tainted with and underlying venom.

"Yea…I'd hate to see you unpleasant…. Let me handle it. You know, I have a couple hell raisers of my own at home." Nile said with a cocky smirk. Miria opened the door, politely beckoning him in. "Alright little sir!" Nile took the spoon and poured in some cough syrup. "Open wide and say ah!" The boy opened his mouth and Nile put the syrup in. "There you go!"

"Nile! Cover his mouth!" Miria shouted frantically.

"What?" Nile turned toward Miria a second too late. The boy sprayed out the medicine, along with his spit, all over Nile's hair, in his ear, and down the left side of his face.

"Let me handle it!" Miria mocked in a deep voice.

"Come here, you little bastard!" Nile pinned down the boy and forced his mouth open, though not without a few bites to his fingers in the process. "Miria, hurry!"

"Pin him down! He's squirming too much!

"Fuck the spoon, just pour the bottle out!"

"Nile! I was just venting, that'll kill him!"

"Hurry!"

"Ah!" Miria grabbed the boy's face and did her best to pour out the correct amount. They both worked together to hold the boy's mouth shut and tilt his head back as he squirmed. "Swallow it!"

"What're you doing!?" Miria and Nile looked up at the source of the accusing voice. The maid stood there, observing the two adults pinning down a young boy in his bed, shocked by their actions.

"O…uh…d-don't worry. I'm with the Military Police and she's almost a doctor." Nile offered nervously. Her eyes moved from one to the other.

"It's cough medicine…." Miria added.

"Rub his throat to get him to swallow." the maid said. She closed the door and walked away.

* * *

Miria and Nile sat in the carriage, completely exhausted and sticky with syrup.

"I did not feel good about doing that." Miria finally said.

"Don't feel bad. That was a demon spawn." Nile wiped his ear for the third time, shuddering, probably at the thought of how deep the spit might have gone in.

"Yea, hopefully it knocks him out long enough for him to forget the whole ordeal. We can't go back there." Miria watched Nile rub his sleeve on his neck and groan in disgust. "Why is it that the children I treated in the Underground, with no parents, no privileges, no education, no food, and no home training could be so well behaved, but that boy was such a monster despite having all of those advantages?"

"Yea, I wonder who else was like that she was little."

"Who?" she asked, puzzled.

"Miria, no one in the Military Police liked escorting you."

"That's not true! I was a joy to be around!" she defended.

"No, you were a monster just like him. We drew straws when you came up on the list."

"That's so mean!"

"One guy quit and joined the Survey Corps." Nile said through fits of laughter. "He said he wasn't afraid of titans anymore." Miria playfully punched Nile's arm, but eventually joined in.

"Okay, so, what changed, wise ass? How come you like me so much now?"

"Well…" Nile's smile slowly faded. He stared at her and opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. _Mom…._ "Life just changes people, I guess." They sat in silence for the remainder of the ride, and when Miria entered her house, her hatred for her father was reignited. _I'll never forgive you for what you did to her._

"How was your first day?" her father asked as she passed by him to head up the stairs. He didn't bother looking up from his newspaper or moving from his spot on the couch.

"It was wonderful! Thank you so much for letting me go, father!" Her melodic and excited voice was in stark contrast with her stoic face.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." Miria shut the door of her bedroom and leaned against it. _Just a few more days._ That's all she needed to endure.

* * *

"Yan!" Miria said excitedly, pulling the boy toward the patient's cot and sitting him down. "How are your legs feeling?"

"They've felt a bit better. Thank you again for the money. I was able to buy better food, and more of it. I rested yesterday and there's less pain in them today."

"Good! I'm so glad!" She placed a large bag next to him. "I've put fruits, vegetables, clean water, fish, chicken, and beef in here. Eat until you're full, three times a day. Don't worry about rationing it, I'll bring you another bag tomorrow and the day after." Yan looked through the bag and gasped.

"This…this is too much. I can't—" Miria placed her hands on Yan's.

"I don't have any need for this food, you do. Let me help you."

"Thank you." Miria smiled, kneeling down and prepping Yan's legs for another injection. "…what do you need Levi's help with?" She looked up at him, trying to read his expression. _What do you know?_

"Can you keep a secret?" She returned her attention to the syringe in her hand.

"Yes."

"I have a business proposition for him. I'm in danger, and I need his help hiding in the Underground."

"You want to move down here?"

"It's a really bad situation. If I don't disappear down here, I don't know what will happen to me. I know my pursuers would never find me down here, and there's no risk of them coming down to look for me." Miria wrapped up Yan's legs. "But I'm sure you're not unaware of what would happen to me without protection…what happens to any woman here without protection. Levi is the most feared person in the Underground, and from everything I've heard about him, murder, assault, larceny…there's never been so much as an accusation of a crime against women. I have items that I know he'll value, and if he can just keep me under his umbrella, that's all I need."

"I'll ask him." Yan said softly. Miria's eyes shot wide open. She placed her hands on Yan's knees and swallowed the lump forming in her throat.

"Really? You can do that? You know him?" Yan nodded and Miria hugged him. "You're saving my life."

"No, just providing you with the tools you need to save your own life." Yan replied with a small laugh.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Don't mind me, just writing AOT fanfic and pretending I don't have an exam that I haven't studied for in two days. Let me know what you guys think in the reviews!

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

* * *

"My whole body hurts." Miria complained, taking the stairs to her front door slowly. The cool breeze of the night felt good against her skin. She glanced around her neighborhood. She would be free from it all tomorrow.

* * *

 _Miria sat in front of Yan, anxiously awaiting the news of her future. He gave her a soft smile._

 _"Levi's agreed to meet with you. It's not a promise, but he's willing to hear you out." he said. She grabbed his face in her hands and planted a kiss on his lips._

 _"You will never know what you've done for me, Yan." She smiled at his red cheeks and incoherent, stuttered response. "I do need one more thing. There are Military Police everywhere. I won't be able to slip away without a diversion. Can Levi make it happen?"_

 _"I don't know if he'll agree to that." Yan admitted._

 _"Can you ask him? Did you tell him about my offer?"_

 _"I told him you said you had items that he would want."_

 _"Tell him I also have information that he needs. I can't say what it is until I meet with him, but he can't afford to not know it. It could be the difference between life and death."_

 _"I'll tell him. I'll report back tomorrow." Yan grabbed the large, heavy bag of food. "Thank you again...for everything._

* * *

"Welcome to the working world. You never get used to it, and it never goes away." Nile responded.

"And people do this? Every day? On purpose?" she asked half-jokingly.

"Yea, it turns out people will do all sorts of crazy things to …you know, survive." He offered her his arm, and she gladly took it for the last flight of stairs. _People do all sorts of crazy things to survive._ Miria smiled. Yes, she could relate to that.

* * *

 _"Levi agreed to send some men for the diversion. They'll start a riot in the crowd so the Military Police will be busy breaking up fights. Someone will sneak into your tent. Put on a cloak, and we'll sneak you out." Yan explained. Miria thought as she checked the muscles in his legs._ No adverse effects.

 _"You're responding well to the medicine." She stood and watched Yan pull down his pant legs and put on his boots. "The riot is fine, but as soon as it starts the commander will come check on me first. He's just that type of guy."_

 _"Then what—"_

 _"How hard would it be to hire a prostitute?" Yan's eyes widened._

 _"N-not that hard, but what—"_

 _"If you hire a prostitute and tell her to come down for a pregnancy or vaginal exam, she'll get sent to me. I'm the only woman among the doctors. I'll make sure to keep the commander close, and if he sees me with a woman, it'll put him at ease. The riot can start after I've been with her for a while. I can catch him at the beginning and tell him I need to do a complicated procedure and to keep everyone out of my tent. He'll focus on the riot, and I can sneak away." Miria explained. She handed Yan some more money. "I can cover the expenses."_

 _"Alright. Tomorrow then."_

* * *

She reached for the door and it whipped open.

"Miria!" her father whispered harshly.

"God!" Miria gasped, jumping back from the unexpected welcome. She clutched her chest and tried to ease her breathing.

"Sneak upstairs and change into a pretty dress!" he whispered, ignoring her near heart attack.

"What?" she asked, still struggling to comprehend the situation.

"Hurry, we have guests." He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside. "Good to see you, Nile." Miria turned and caught a glimpse of Nile's surprised face before the door was slammed on him. "Hurry, go!"

"I need to bathe!"

"You don't have time, do what you can. Meet me in the dining room!" He gave her one last push before heading down the hall. "She'll be down in just a little while!" Miria rolled her eyes and ran up the stairs, stripping down before she even got all the way into her room. She wet a washcloth and scrubbed on a bit of soap, quickly and violently scrubbing down her body to rid herself of any smell of the Underground. She toweled herself off, fixed her make up and hair, and slipped into a formal dress and heels. She did a final inspection in the mirror, recognizing the obvious lack of jewelry, and internally berated herself for forgetting. She put on a crystal set and ran down the stairs, only slowing to a lady-like walk when she was in view of the guests in the dining room.

"Miria!" Darius exclaimed, standing up and greeting her with a hug. "You look beautiful."

"It's nice to see you, General Zackly." Miria responded with a smile. She turned her attention to the second guest in the room. She tilted her head in thought and her lips parted slightly. _He looks so familiar._

"Let me introduce you." Darius motioned the man over. He stood, keeping his ice blue eyes on Miria the entire time. A jolt of fear surged through her as he approached. Her world slowed and every movement lasted for an excruciatingly long time. She could hear her heart pound in her ears. She kept tilting her head back further the closer he got, just to keep his gaze. A soft gasp escaped her lips when he stopped in front of her, and the hint of a smirk appeared on his face upon hearing it. He must have known how intimidating he looked to her. She was everything that a proper noble woman should be: small and delicate. The top of her head wasn't even at his shoulders. His body was broad, but perfectly toned. Miria could make out the structures of his muscles even through his uniform. Even as he stood relaxed, the sleeves of his jacket stretched against his biceps. _Wings of Freedom…._ Though she had minimal interaction with anyone in the Survey Corps, she recognized the emblem. The buttons on his white collared shirt strained as air filled his lungs and pushed out his brawny chest. The distinct curves of his abs became visible as his shirt tucked into his pants. The leather straps around his thighs managed to manipulate the fabric of his pants, but were forced to conform to the shape of his thick and hardened quadriceps and glutes. Miria's eyes lingered for a moment on a bulge against his left inner thigh. _What is_ — Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment when she recognized her mistake. Her eyes shot up to meet his, and, much to her dismay, he had been observing her every action like a hawk. "This is Squad Leader Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps."

"It's an honor to meet you." Erwin said, taking Miria's hand. A few strands of his blond hair fell from their perfectly smooth part as he leaned forward to kiss it. Her fingers inadvertently twitched at the sensation of his soft lips. They grazed against his jawline. She felt wrong for thinking his skin was smooth. No, she felt wrong for liking the sensation. She felt wrong for wanting to feel it again. Miria swallowed the lump of anxiety building in her throat and forced a pleasant smile.

"The pleasure is all mine."

"Well, let's eat!" Her father's voice broke through the moment, and Miria suddenly became very aware of how lost she had been in a separate world when Erwin spoke to her. She took her seat across from Erwin and kept her eyes on her plate, save for a few quick glances when he spoke. She wracked her brain, trying to figure out what was overcoming her. She tried to reason through it to the best of her abilities. _I'm always around men in their sixties. He's a conventionally attractive, relatively young man._ Miria glanced up at him again. _Maybe late twenties._ She looked back to her food, pushing it around with her fork. Images of the conventionally handsome Erwin's…unconventionally large muscle returned to her mind and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She clenched her jaw and thought back to her medical training. _Most girls begin to go through puberty between thirteen and seventeen. The increase in attention to reproductive organ development comes with an increased sex drive. I was just responding to sexual stimuli. That's it. Move on and pull it together._

"Easier said than done." Erwin stated. Miria's eyes snapped up and met his. Was he some kind of mind reader? He smiled at her and looked over to her father, continuing. "As I'm sure you know, there is very little that gets done in the royal government without greasing a few wheels. We've been in talks about a new defense contractor for a while now, but it keeps getting pushed back. At the end of the day, the military and the council will mostly likely have to come to an agreement and drive a unified effort to make that change."

"Is that all?" Darius asked. "I imagine the titans will have advanced their own society before that happens." The men laughed and Miria let out a sigh of relief.

"Erwin, I have to say I'm impressed with you. When Darius first introduced us, I thought: 'there's no way I'd let my beautiful daughter marry a soldier.'" Miria tensed at her father's words. _Marry?_ Miria had always assumed that her marriage would be arranged with one of her father's wealthy business partners. That had always been the plan. _Why this soldier? Does he have some secret wealth? How much could he possibly be worth? Does he make more than the average soldier? No, there's no way. It wouldn't matter. It would be a far cry from the wealth of the other aristocrats._ "After all, what kind of a life is for a girl to sit at home, waiting for a man who may never return?" He placed a hand on Miria's bare shoulder. "But after hearing about you, I am assured. Miria, did you know despite the Survey Corps' high casualty rate, no one in Erwin's squad has died? Not one. He's also next in line to become commander. Keith puts a great deal of trust in his abilities." Her eyes widened. She looked up at Erwin and suddenly remembered: she had seen him in the royal halls with Commander Keith Shadis, back when her mother would take her there all the time. She would see them come out of meetings together and briefly chat with her mother as they passed by. "If I can get your support for my steel business taking over the defense contract, we can get our unified military and council efforts going, and end with a wedding this weekend." He ended with a laugh and Miria had to chuckle as well. _How perfect for you. Of course, Nile would support you in the procurement of such a valuable steel contract. You weren't able to pressure Commander Shadis into this scam, but how perfect for you if his most trusted comrade supports you. You know your tactics won't work on Commander Pixis, but he won't go against the consensus either. The council would have always supported you, but the military was your only obstacle. Yes, how perfect for you that you can sell your daughter to the one man who can set your plan into motion. Especially if it's under the guise of securing her a powerful husband—a protector. But how does it help you if he's always away on missions? How does it help you if he dies? Don't you want grandchildren? Who will inherit your work and continue your legacy?_ "You can move in the same day!" Another bellowing laugh.

"The interior city is far from any Survey Corps posts." Erwin responded.

"But the luxuries are worth the travel." her father replied. _You can move in the same day!_ Her father's words echoed in her head and suddenly a sick thought crept in. Miria had always known the monetary value of her virginity had protected her from her father's advances. It had been the only thing keeping him at bay. Her only protection would be gone the night of her wedding. Regardless of his skill, Erwin would most likely die. Regardless of how long his death took, he would always be away. Perhaps it wasn't even important if her child was Erwin's. She shuddered at the thought. _I have to leave. I have to get out._

"Lady Miria, I hear you're quite the skilled medic." Erwin said, changing the subject. Miria smiled and wiped her hands with the cloth napkin as servants came and lifted the plates.

"My father overstates my accomplishments." she responded with a small laugh. "I do what I can." Erwin smiled and took a sip of his tea.

"If it matters, I hadn't heard it from your father." Miria's heart dropped. _Shit._ She was sure as observant as Erwin was, he caught the sudden change in her demeanor. _Shit!_

"O? Who did you hear it from?" her father asked. _SHIT!_ Miria's heart raced as she looked into Erwin's eyes. _I have to do something._

"Nile and I are old friends." he responded hesitantly. _Think._ She could make no effort to hide her panic. _THINK!_ "…are you alright?" All eyes turned toward Miria.

"Yes, I—" Miria labored her breathing and fluttered her eyelids.

"Miria!" Erwin called, standing to rush over to her, but not before she slid off her chair and came crashing against the ground. Pain shot through her body but she kept her eyes closed and her face motionless.

"Miria!" her father yelled. She felt her body being lifted carefully. Miria didn't need to open her eyes to know who it was. She could feel his muscles. "I'll ready a carriage. We might need to go to the hospital." The sound of her father's footsteps faded.

"Erwin, lay her down on the couch. An old friend of mine lives at the end of the street. He's a retired doctor. Go tell him what's happened." Darius said frantically. Another pair of fading footsteps. _Three…two…one…._ Miria propped herself up on her elbows and glared at Darius.

"Why the hell did you bring him here?" she hissed through clenched teeth.

"M-Miria!" Darius placed his hand on her forehead. "Are you alright?"

"O! I'm fine!" she snapped, smacking his hand away. "I faked it."

"What—"

"My father doesn't know I'm going to the Underground to treat patients. I lied to Nile and told him I had permission when I didn't. I've been pretending to meet with my father's lower tier clients in the morning. As far as medicine goes, he just thinks I've been making house calls at night around Mitras. I'm sure Nile told you and Erwin everything, and I can't have either of you blabbing about it to my father." Miria took a deep breath. "Please…please just keep this under wraps. Tomorrow is the last day of the expedition. After that, everything can go back to normal, but this is really important to me." Darius' eyes softened. He stroked her hair.

"Miria, if he doesn't know—"

"My mother inspired my love of medicine. I'm sure you remember her contributions to our education system. I'm sure you remember all of the books she wrote. She pushed my father to start this effort, and she got him to let me start training under Dr. Yeager. Now that she's gone…I feel like this is all I have left of her." Miria played up her tears. "It's the only bit of freedom I have." Guilt filled her again. It was wrong to manipulate a man who had cared for her so deeply. _People do all sorts of crazy things to survive._

"Fine. Just through tomorrow. After that, you have to tell him." Darius agreed. Miria hugged him.

"Thank you."

"…he does love you, you know." Miria forced a smile. Darius would never understand. He was a good person. How could he relate to the monster that her father was?

"You're awake!" Erwin exclaimed, rushing over to kneel by Miria's side. "How are you feeling?" Miria opened her mouth to speak.

"Miria! Thank goodness!" She closed it at the sound of her father. "We can take you to the hospital right now."

"That won't be necessary. She was just telling me that she felt a little light-headed, probably from her long day. Meetings in the morning and treating patients until night. It's difficult on such a young girl." Darius said, smiling at her. "She just needs a good night's sleep."

"Well, we should leave you to it." Erwin gave Darius a skeptical look, but turned toward Miria's father. "Thank you for dinner. I hope we can do this again without such short notice." Miria watched the men exchange goodbyes and mouthed 'thank you' as Darius looked back at her once more from the front door.

"Stand up." her father said plainly, his façade of glee all but eradicated once the door was shut. Miria did as she was told. He unlaced the back of her dress, letting the strapless silk fall around her feet. He carefully observed her body where she had fallen.

"It doesn't hurt. I don't think it'll bruise." Miria responded, already knowing his main concern: had his investment lost value?

"Good. I don't want you taking on anymore meetings. No more treating patients, either. I can't afford for you to get injured and turn Erwin away at this crucial time. If he's not already mortified by tonight."

"I understand." Miria saw her naked body in the reflection of a silver vase. She turned away, completely ashamed.

"Get dressed. I'll try to catch Erwin tomorrow if I can." Miria pulled up her dress and held it to her chest, unable to bring herself to lace it again. _Think._

"Maybe I should apologize to him in the morning." Miria offered. Her father glared at her. "General Zackly said they have an early meeting tomorrow morning. Nile can take me there, and I can apologize for my scene. Maybe I can bring him a small gift or something, so that I leave on a positive impression before you speak to him again. It might help with his support…." Miria watched her father's glare soften as he scratched his beard to think.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt. I'll have a servant send a message to Nile to come much earlier. You'll need to buy a bolo tie or some suitable gift. Get some money from the safe."

"Yes, sir." Miria turned to retreat into her bedroom, a victorious smirk on her face. _I win._


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Two chapters in a day! This one isn't as long as the other, but I felt like this was a good place to stop. Chapter 7 will definitely be longer.

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

* * *

Miria checked her bag for the third time. She had everything. The important things: clothes, shoes, food, water, and Levi's bribes. The less important things: jewelry, makeup, and beauty products that she refused to compromise on. She zipped it up, tucking it under her bed and laid out her clothes for the following morning, and when she was sure that everything was ready to go, she stripped and slid between her cool sheets. _I'll be free tomorrow._ She couldn't sleep. She wanted to. She wanted this night to pass by quickly so she could start her new life, so she could leave all of this behind. A soft giggle escaped her lips.

"Sorry Erwin." she whispered into the night. "You'll have to find a different wife." She closed her eyes and was immediately flooded by images of his body. She jerked up onto her elbows. Her heart rate quickened. Her breathing got heavier. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head, laying back down in a different position. But once again, the second her eyelids closed, her brain insisted on focusing its attention to Erwin's body. Miria squeezed her eyes shut tighter, hoping it would just go away. Rather, the images intensified. Miria felt…something. She laid on her back and bit her lip. What was this sensation? Her groin ached…but it wasn't painful. It felt…almost good. She felt the temperature rise between her thighs, and her insides tingled. She shoved her hand between her legs to try and suppress the feeling, but when her cold hand met her warm center, fingers falling between her plump lips and into her wet folds, shocks of ecstasy flowed through her body. She gasped and threw her sheets off, staring down at her naked form, trying to comprehend the feeling. A cool breeze came through her window, raising bumps on her arms and erecting her nipples. She gingerly touched the small, caramel colored buds. More jolts of pleasure traveled down her stomach and toward her center. She moaned, arching her back and dragging her hand slowly down her breast and stomach. It felt clumsy. She desperately rubbed and spread her folds, trying to pinpoint what gave her the most pleasure. She closed her eyes. _Erwin._ She tangled her free hand in her hair and imagined it was him pulling her roughly down to her knees. She opened her mouth, letting out moans and imagining what it would be like to swallow him—imagining how much bigger it would be erect; how deep into her throat he could go. She sucked on her fingers, trailing the saliva down to her nipples. She imagined him roughly grabbing her breasts and taking them into his mouth—leaving her chest ravaged, swollen with bite marks. Something began to build in her stomach and she just reacted—rubbing faster and harder. No matter how hard she bit her lip, or how roughly she grabbed her breasts, she felt no pain—just waves of pleasure washing over her as she bucked her hips and moaned. As the feeling subsided inside of her, she touched her lips. They felt raw from the onslaught of her teeth. Her breasts became tender, and she smiled. _Thanks, Erwin._

* * *

Miria admired herself in the mirror. She looked flawless. Her hair and makeup were the best they had ever been. The strapless, silk black dress fit her curves perfectly. She adjusted the bodice-like top, letting her breasts be slightly more exposed than what she was usually comfortable with. But today was a special day. The slit of her dress was high, falling just a hand length short of her hipbone. It seductively exposed her right leg with every other step, or when she sat. It was perfect. She couldn't afford to have Levi turn her away. She would use every asset that she had. She carefully picked up a gold-plated belt, wrapping it around her waist and letting it rest on her hips. _Hm…._ She decided to decorate herself with a few more pieces of gold jewelry. It wouldn't hurt to have something of this value in the Underground. She put the large sum of money her father had given her in a small purse, and peeked out into the hallway. She could hear her father downstairs barking orders. He was in a bad mood. _Perfect._ Miria dragged her heavy bag to his room, and nonchalantly descended the stairs, passing by a servant. She gently grabbed his arm.

"I'm so sorry to bother you when you're on your way somewhere, but could you bring down my father's bag from his room and wait for Nile outside? We want to have everything loaded up as soon as the carriage arrives." Miria gave him a gentle smile.

"Of course." The servant scurried up the rest of the stairs. She loved the obedience that had been beaten into them. It was not their place to ask questions, and Miria never had to fear getting caught.

"Miria. Did you sleep well?" her father asked. She thought back to the previous night. _Erwin._

"Yes, exceptionally well." Miria responded, biting her still tender lip.

"Good." He put down his newspaper and looked up at her, a bit surprised by her outfit. "You look beautiful."

"…do you mind if we talk in your study, father?" Miria asked, feigning embarrassment at the surrounding staff. "I just need some advice on what to say to him."

"That's a good idea." Miria heard frantic footsteps pounding down the stairs behind her as her father led her down the hall. The front door creaked open, and she heard it shut. She smirked. All she had to do now was wait for Nile to arrive. They kept the door to the study open. Her father talked ceaselessly about what men want to hear. How important it is to nurture their pride. She felt suicidal ideations taking over when Nile's voice finally broke her free from this hell.

"Are you ready?" Nile asked. Miria stood quickly, giving her father a smile.

"I should go before I'm late. Thank you, father." She turned, taking Nile's arm and nearly dragging him out of the mansion before he and her father had the chance to exchange conversation and blow her cover.

"Is that what you're wearing?" he asked, trying to keep up with her pace down the stairs.

"Yes. Apparently, I should appropriately represent the Antoun family, even in the Underground. Fathers, right?" Miria's lies were sloppy now, but she didn't care. She was so close to securing her freedom. It was all that she could see. She didn't wait for Nile to open the carriage door for her. She flung it open, eyes searching for her bag, and jumped in with a smirk when she saw it. "Hurry up! We don't have a lot of time, and we need to make a stop." Nile stepped in behind her and sat down, leaning his head back against the plush cushions and closing his eyes.

"It's too early in the morning for you to have this much energy. What stop are we making?" he groaned. It was perfect. Nile had become so accustomed to Miria carrying 'food for the orphaned children' on their last few trips, he hadn't even thought to ask her about the bag. He was probably too tired to even notice the seemingly secretive manner in which it had been delivered.

"Our messenger didn't tell you?" Miria asked, gathering information for her next lie.

"Something about you needing to go to a store to buy something for a guy. I don't really remember."

"My father needs a few items for his high tier clients. We're meeting them soon after we return from the Underground, so I need to get them now.

"Can't he send a servant to do that?" he questioned.

"He needs me to pick the items. My taste in clothing is unmatched. You know that, Nile." The man replied with a grunt, keeping his eyes closed. "Just rest in the carriage. I'll be in and out in no time."

"If you insist." Nile said through a yawn. When the carriage slowed, Miria jumped out with her purse, quickly making her way into the men's boutique. It was a quaint little store, one that she had been to many times with her father. He came here to modify suits, buy ties, pick out hats, all of the little things in life. Albeit, they still cost far more than what most could afford.

"Lady Miria! Can I help you with anything?" a young girl asked. S _hit. What was her name?_ Miria smiled, gently grabbing her hand.

"Yes, it's so good to see you again. I'm looking for a cloak for one of my father's clients."

"Come right this way." Miria browsed through the expensive materials, and grabbed a thick, warm, black one.

"This should be fine. Can you adjust the hem?"

"Of course. How tall is this gentleman?" the girl asked. Miria thought. _I guess just above floor length would be best._

"Just a tad shorter than me." Miria replied. The girl gave her a quizzical look. "Old age will do that to you." They laughed together and Miria paid her, anxiously tapping her fingernails against the oak counter as the girl retreated into the back. She returned shortly with the cloak in a bag.

"There you go!"

"Thank you!" Miria quickly grabbed it. She turned to rush out of the store and saw a matching scarf. "I'll take that scarf as well." She paused again, grabbed two random hats, and turned toward the girl. "And these."

* * *

"Nile! Wake up!" Miria shook the man and he jerked forward.

"What?!" he cried.

"We're at the staircase. You slept through the whole ride. Can you grab my large bag? I'm leaving the smaller one in here." Nile rubbed his eyes and reached down to the smaller bag, looking inside.

"Hats? That's all you got?" he asked.

"Everybody needs a hat." Miria replied with a smile.

"Yea, some taste." he retorted as he set the bag down, exchanging it for the much larger, much heavier one. "Good God, are you trying to feed the entire Underground?"

"No, I'm trying to whip the commander of the Military Police into shape. Let's move it, soldier." Anxiety built up in Miria as they descended the stairs and began their routine setup. "I'm not going to take any male patients today unless they're children or seniors."

"I think that's a good idea." Nile responded, glancing down at her dress. "I can't believe he wanted you to wear that."

"He's a creepy guy." Miria mumbled, slowly losing her ability to keep a filter. Nile gently placed the bag on the floor of Miria's tent.

"I'll be right outside if you need me."

"Thank you." As he stepped out, Miria sat in the chair, anxiety filling her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Dun, dun, duuunnn...Levi!

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

* * *

Miria's heart skipped a beat every time a woman entered her tent. She would take her time through the treatment, sitting on the edge of her seat, waiting to see if they were her ticket out. As the day dragged on, her heart sank. Had Levi reneged on their deal?

"Miria!" She turned to see Nile in her tent, holding up a pregnant woman. The woman's legs were shaking as she clutched her lower stomach. "She's pregnant and experiencing a lot of pain."

"Lay her down on the bed." Miria said, frantically straightening out the sheets.

"P-please help my baby…." the woman said between heavy breaths. She cried out in pain when Nile lowered her, and tears ran down her cheeks.

"Don't worry. Miria can help." Nile assured the woman. "I'll be right outside." Miria nodded and grabbed her supplies as Nile left the tent. When she turned back toward the cot, the woman sat there, legs crossed and perfectly composed.

"I saw a raven perched on the wall." the woman said. Miria's eyes widened. This was it.

"Where did he come from?" Miria's voice shook with a thousand different emotions.

"Heaven. He must have been an angel." That was the code.

"Are you preg—" The woman patted her stomach.

"It's just clothes."

"Thank goodness." Miria smiled. Levi had followed through. She made her way to the front of the tent and poked her head out, motioning Nile over.

"What is it?" Nile asked.

"She's having a lot of complications with her pregnancy. I might have to induce labor to save the baby. Make sure no one enters the tent." Miria explained. Nile nodded, standing guard outside. Miria moved the privacy screen in front of the tent entrance. It wouldn't do much to keep people out, but perhaps it would keep anyone from seeing what they were doing. "Okay, what do we do?" Miria whispered.

"The riot should start soon. Once it does, we just need to cut a hole in the back of your tent and escape into the alleyway. One of Levi's men will meet you at the rendezvous point."

"Lay on the cot, just in case someone walks in and moves the screen. I'll cut small holes in the tent to see where the Military Police are."

"Be my guest." The woman laid back and closed her eyes. Miria cut a small hole in each side.

"Okay, Nile is out front, and there is one Military Policeman that might see us sneaking into the alleyway." Miria watched carefully. Soon, they could hear shouting.

"Let's go." The woman stood, and Miria wrapped the scarf and cloak around herself, leaving only her eyes visible. She checked their surroundings again.

"No one around." Miria confirmed. They quickly cut the seam in the back of the tent and slipped out with the bag. Miria cursed every step. The bag was heavy, her feet ached in the heels, and the rendezvous point felt impossibly far.

"We're here."

"Thank God." Miria stopped to catch her breath. She looked up and saw a tall, young man with shaggy blonde hair. He smirked. His light grey eyes bore into her.

"You must be Dr. Miria Antoun." A chill came over her as she noticed his ODM gear. _This was stupid._

* * *

"Thanks for your help, Liza." Furlan pulled out cash from his pocket, counting it and handing it over to the prostitute.

"Anytime, Furlan." she replied, giving him a small wave and leaving him alone with Miria. Furlan observed her. _She doesn't look armed, but it's hard to tell with that cloak._ He could see the fear intensify in her eyes as he stepped toward her. He was sure the difference in their sizes made her uneasy. The top of her head reached his shoulders. _She's even shorter than Levi._ He reached for her and she flinched. His smirk widened. What was this scared little mouse doing in the Underground? He took the heavy bag off her shoulders, and she let it go without any struggle.

"Now, what makes you think I won't just take this bag and leave you here to die?" Furlan asked, amused by her. He could see she was trying to furrow her brow to feign bravery, but her eyes were filled with terror. She held his gaze, nonetheless, and he had to give her credit for that.

"Because if I die, my information goes with me, and you won't be able to protect yourself." Miria's voice shook. Furlan laughed. Yes, she was amusing.

"Fair enough." He tightened the strap of her bag around him, keeping it pressed against his chest.

"It's easier to carry on your back." Miria spoke up.

"But then where would you go, mouse?" Furlan kicked over a wooden crate, standing in front of it. "Get on." Miria hesitantly stepped onto the box, draping her arms on his shoulders. He observed her bare arms and hands. Her olive skin was free from scars or imperfections. Her nails were clean and manicured. "I'd hold tighter. Unless you want to fall off." She hesitated again, but followed his instructions. He felt her breasts push against his back. They felt large, and for a moment, Furlan wondered what kind of a body she was hiding beneath the cloak. "Ready?"

"Yea." Her voice was sweet. He could feel her hot, nervous breath tickle his neck and ear. He took off into the air and she let out a small yelp, burying her face into his neck. Slowly, but surely, her felt her retreat from his safety. He heard her gasp.

"Pretty great, huh?"

"Yea…." Furlan landed on the flat roof of the hideout, but Miria still clung onto him. He bent his knees, lowering himself until her feet touched the ground.

"You can let go, mouse." he added. Miria quickly pulled away. Furlan adjusted the bag to his back and pulled out a key from his pocket, opening up the roof access hatch. He took a few steps down, holding onto the handle of the hatch, and motioned for Miria to proceed.

* * *

Miria cautiously stepped down past Furlan, jumping and turning back when he shut the hatch behind them, locking it and latching it with a wooden bar. _This was so stupid._ She pushed herself against one wall of the stairway, letting him pass her and lead the way. Furlan moved quickly into the room at the bottom of the stairs. As she came closer, she saw him drop the bag on a table and disappear out of view. She heard him sit and could see his feet on the table. She entered the room and froze. _Levi._ She recognized him immediately from the sketches. He sat on a wooden chair, one arm draped over the back, the other fiddling with a small knife. He was slightly hunched over, with his right ankle crossed over his left knee. The bangs of his undercut fell into his narrow, grey eyes. He wasn't even facing her, but when his orbs moved to size her up, Miria felt adrenaline course through her body. _I'm going to die. He's going to kill me._ Her breath caught in her throat. _This was stupid._

"If you don't want to die…talk." Levi said plainly. His voice was ice. It chilled Miria to the core, confirming her fears. _Control yourself. Control yourself and talk. Just move. Move your hands._ Miria held Levi's gaze as she removed her scarf and cloak, tossing them on the couch next to Furlan.

"Woah." Furlan's eyes widened as he leaned forward, taking her in from every angle. Levi's response was far more measured, but Miria still saw a brief moment of surprise flash across his face. It made her feel powerful again.

"My name is Miria Antoun. I came to the Underground as part of a team of doctors, but it was a plan to escape from the interior city and stay here. My pursuers won't follow me to the Underground, but I need protection from the other dangers that I'll face here…in exchange for my services, of course." Levi's eyes narrowed and Furlan laughed.

"Services?" Furlan asked. Miria glanced at him, keeping her cool and serious demeanor. She opened her bag and pulled out a wide array of weapons, including two firearms.

"I can get weapons from the Military Police outposts. Why should I take on the permanent burden of a targeted, spoiled, noble brat when I could accomplish the same thing with a one-time heist?" Levi spat. Miria clenched her jaw. It was difficult to maintain her composure. She wasn't used to anyone speaking to her like that, but making a statement of pride here was akin to signing a death warrant. She pulled out her medical supplies.

"Because you can't get medical treatment anywhere else." Levi never broke eye contact with her. He had to have known that was a benefit she could provide. Yan had to have told him. At first, she waited for a response, but decided to continue with her bribe, just to be safe. "Of course, I'm willing to contribute all that I can." She pulled out food and clean water. "I'm sure meats are hard to come by here." She grabbed a large stack of cash, tossing it in front of Levi. "I'll pay my living expenses up front." Furlan grabbed the cash, fanning through it.

"This might be enough for a trip upstairs." he said in shock.

"You could use it for a trip upstairs." Miria replied, looking down at Furlan. "But I would recommend using it to buy a different hideout."

"Why?" Levi asked. Miria returned her gaze to Levi and pulled out her map, opening it and pointing to the red x.

"I'm assuming this is where we are right now? It looks pretty accurate, at least from everything I could see in the sky." Levi stood and grabbed the map. Miria stepped back, not bothering to hide how intimidated she was by him. He was shorter than she thought, but still taller than her, and strong enough to kill her at any moment.

"Who gave this to you?" His glare pierced through her.

"A staffer of one of the royal council members. They've been keeping tabs on you through the arrests they've been making. I didn't get the impression that they were planning any action, but it might not be a bad idea to move and fall off their radar…." Miria explained quickly. Levi folded up the map and placed it in his pocket.

"Fine." He sounded less like a man accepting a mutually beneficial proposal and more like a man who had been backed into a corner. "I'll keep you safe." His words dripped with venom.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** Yay! Chapter 8! We're finally getting somewhat to the meat of the story (no pun intended). There's a little more background fluff coming, though.

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

* * *

Levi moved quickly. Within hours of being informed that his location had been compromised, he had managed to find a new hideout and work with his gang to have everything moved. Miria had assisted with the move, but at a much slower, and perhaps burdensome, rate than the others. She had packed and folded sheets, clothes, and smaller items, leaving them in crates for the assembly line of men to take care of. When it came time for her and Furlan to travel to the new location, she was slightly disappointed that it wasn't with his ODM gear. Speeding through the air had been terrifying, but exhilarating and life-affirming. It felt like freedom.

"Are you okay?" Furlan asked, watching her wobble up the stairway of the new house.

"Yes." Miria replied, not wanting to show weakness, despite how much her legs and feet ached from the trip. She stepped over the threshold and smiled. It wasn't much compared to her mansion. Three small bedrooms, one bathroom, and a living room and kitchen meshed into one. The furniture had already been moved in. It was modest and clean. It was perfect.

"Furlan, stay with her." Levi said, taking his leave almost immediately.

"See you." Furlan responded.

"Where is he going?" Miria whispered even after Levi had disappeared around a corner. Her mythological understanding of the man had endowed him with super hearing. She would not have been surprised to learn that he could vanish into thin air, tear apart mountains with his bare hands, or conjure lightning and thunder. Furlan leaned close to Miria's face with a stern expression.

"To scout the surroundings." he whispered back, unable to hold back his smirk any longer. She turned her head away, uncomfortable with his proximity.

"Can I help unpack anything?"

"Yea, but not in that dress." Furlan opened a crate full of food, and another full of kitchen items. He held up a small pot. "Can you cook?"

"Yes." Miria chewed on her lip, feeling stupid for having told a lie out of instinct. "No."

"I'll teach you." he responded with a small laugh. "Come here." She watched him carefully. He was a good teacher, but Miria wondered what he was getting out of this. What was his angle? "Now just make sure it doesn't burn. I'll go unpack."

"What do I do if it starts burning?!" Miria asked in a panic, grabbing his sleeve before he could run off too far. Furlan raised an eyebrow.

"Move it off the fire." _Stupid._

"What if I burn myself?"

"Then I guess you'll be quicker next time." Furlan laughed.

"R-right…." she stuttered, thoroughly embarrassed.

"O!" Furlan pivoted on his heel. "If you really want Levi to not hate you, put that box of rare tea leaves you brought to good use."

"Got it. Tea." She paused and thought about what he said. "Wait, does he hate me?!" she yelled after him.

"Who knows!" Furlan's voice was distant as he disappeared into a room.

"Great…." Miria watched Furlan as the food cooked. He moved quickly, too. Before the stew was done, nearly every crate had been emptied and all of the items stored away. She rubbed her arms, trying to force heat back into her body. Furlan casually walked over with her cloak, draping it on her shoulders. He never missed a beat. "Thank you." Before the words even left her mouth, he was already across the room, sweeping.

"It gets cold down here. These buildings aren't good at retaining heat. Some nights it gets so cold that it's hard to fall asleep. You're gonna have to get a lot tougher if you want to stay here." Miria glanced down at her slender figure. She wasn't tough. She never had to be. She had always been surrounded by guards who could be tough for her, but she couldn't expect the same treatment here. She had to figure it out for herself. She glanced at the pot cooking on the fireplace. She had been terrified to reach into the heat and burn herself removing it. _You're gonna have to get a lot tougher if you want to stay here._ She wet a small towel and tossed it over the handle of the pot, quickly grabbing it and moving it to the table.

"I did it!" She smiled from ear to ear and looked over at Furlan, who flashed her a thumbs up. It was sweet. It was a tiny, stupid little accomplishment, but he had given her recognition for it. He had celebrated the moment with her, and it seemed genuine. It was a strange feeling, one that Miria was not accustomed to. _Mom…._ Or at least one she had forgotten since the passing of her mother. She glanced at the tea pot. "Can you show me how to make tea?" Furlan looked around the room, hesitating a bit.

"Yea, why not." He stowed away the broom and joined her. "The secret is in picking the right leaves."

"Isn't that kind of a given?" Miria asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, would you like to try it yourself?" He held out the box of leaves for her to take.

"…I'm a visual learner." Miria responded, forcing a smile.

"Then watch and learn." So, Miria did just that. She watched Furlan carefully, trying to unpack his motivations. She watched him take on the lion's share of the work. She watched him show her how to set the table. She watched him roll his eyes when Levi returned and criticized his sub par cleaning, and she watched him take all of the blame for it, despite only falling behind because he had to carry her burden. She watched him smirk at her mischievously, motioning a zip across his lips when Levi's back was turned. She watched him give her full credit for the food and tea when Levi complimented it. She watched him offer to clean, since she had cooked, when really, he had done both. She watched the excitement on his face when he led her to her room, and waited for her reaction. Miria had been stunned—speechless. A large bed, a dresser, a mirror, a chair, a lantern, and a closet. That's it. There were no windows, no expensive carved woods, no luxurious sheets. "I know it's not like your old home." Furlan explained upon seeing her shocked expression. She noticed something out of the corner of her eye: a small, delicate glass vase that sat on the dresser. She picked it up, tracing the chips and scratches on it, and finally moved her fingers to the single, soft, pink flower that rested in it. It was closed into a tight bud.

"No…it's not." Miria replied. She turned toward Furlan, smiling. "It's even better. Thank you for doing this…for everything you've done."

"Y-yea. Um…." His dazed, stuttering response was charming. "O!" Furlan left the room and quickly returned with a folded blanket. "Here's an extra blanket in case you get cold." Miria's smile suddenly fell. She glanced over at the blanket that was already neatly folded on her bed. She had seen Levi take one into his room earlier.

"There were only three blankets." she said, looking into Furlan's eyes. "I packed them, and there were only three." He didn't respond. "This is your blanket."

"Yea, well, you need it more than I do." She watched him place it on her bed, and it occurred to Miria then: Furlan's only motivation was empathy. He was just a good person. He had seen her, a lost little mouse, terrified of her unknown circumstances, and gone out of his way to ease her burden. "Get some rest, mouse. I'm sure you're dying to get out of that dress." Miria's eyes returned to his, her lips parted and a rarely seen expression of surprise and gratitude took over her face. She lifted her hands to the laced ribbon on the back of her dress, pulling it loose. She let the silk fall to the ground, pooling around her ankles, baring herself to him. "I-I didn't mean…." She took off her heels, stepped over the pile, and slowly walked to Furlan, smiling when she saw his darting glances between her body and face. "What're you doing?" His voice was a hoarse whisper as she pushed her body against his, holding onto his waist.

"Celebrating my freedom." Miria whispered back, leaning into his face, in much the same manner as he had done to her earlier. She smirked. Furlan brought his lips down against hers with force, slamming the door shut, and immediately lifting her by her thighs. She wrapped her legs around his waist and moaned when she felt his erection grind against her. He quickly threw her onto the bed, ripping off his own vest and shirt. Miria took in the sight of his toned, muscular body and bit her lip in anticipation. It quickly turned to anxiety when she saw his uncovered manhood. How would it fit? Would it hurt? She had always heard that the first time was painful. Furlan gave her little time to address the questions before he pounced on her again. She spread her legs, letting him lay between them. He pinned her arms above her head. His kisses were rough. He bit her lip and sucked on her neck as his fingers skillfully slid across and inside of her. Miria arched her back and moved her hips in rhythm with him, begging for more. He pulled out his fingers, stopping when he noticed some blood on them. He immediately pulled back, grabbing her knees and spreading them to stare at her. Miria shuddered as he gently wiped away blood smudged at the entrance of her vagina.

"Are you a virgin?" he asked, giving her a confused and concerned look. She nodded. "We don't have to—"

"I want to." she assured, grabbing his arm. Furlan leaned forward, kissing her, softly this time. She tangled her hand in his blonde hair as he planted his lips gently down her neck, breasts and stomach. Her body writhed with pleasure when he sucked on her nipples. She gasped when he moved from kissing her inner thighs to licking between her legs. "Furlan!" Without thinking, she pushed his head down further as he penetrated her with his tongue. She grabbed her breasts, squeezing them and playing with her nipples as he spread her lips opens with his thumbs and flicked his tongue over her pearl. The sensation was incredible. The feeling of his large hands tightly gripping her legs was incredible. She felt her orgasm building, aching for release. "Furlan!" She spread her legs further, lifting her backside off the bed. Furlan moved his hand under her for support, squeezing and spreading her cheeks as he lapped up her nectar. She cried out in pleasure as her orgasm washed over her. Every lick after shook her body visibly.

"Fuck." Furlan snarled, moving up to kiss her again. There was something so erotic about tasting herself on his lips and tongue. With slow and measured thrusts, he pushed into her, retreating just a bit when he heard her hold back a pained yelp. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Miria assured again. They looked into each other's eyes as he pushed in until he met the resistance of her cervix.

"Is that okay?" he asked, moving slowly. Miria nodded. Their breathing was labored, and a bead of sweat threatened to fall from Furlan's matted bangs. She gently wiped it away, kissing him and moving her hips faster. He matched her speed, and she could tell he was close when he began to let the weight of his body fall on her. She kissed his earlobe as she felt each of his throaty breaths against her neck. She moaned and clawed at his back, wild against his body. His control diminished as he let out a soft groan with every thrust. "Miria…." Her body weakened and tingled when he said her name like that. "Miria…." He pulled himself up and looked into her eyes—desperate to release. "Can you swallow it?" She blushed at the request, but agreed. "Fuck." Furlan picked up his pace, pounding into her harder. She propped herself onto her elbows, and he moved so fast that she barely had time to react and open her mouth when he brought his shaft to her face. He held the back of her head, shoving it as deep inside of her mouth as it would go. Miria felt it twitch against her tongue and fill her with his seed. He pulled out, and she swallowed it quickly. She returned to his penis almost immediately, licking off the last few lingering drops and enjoying the sweet flavor of their mixed arousal. Furlan rolled over, flopping down onto his back and slowly bringing down his breathing. Miria laughed at his goofy smile and grabbed the blankets and sheets, pulling it over their naked bodies as she rested her head on his shoulder. He played with her hair and kissed the top of her head. "What?" he asked.

"Your smile." Miria replied. "You look like someone who just learned that they inherited a fortune."

"No." Furlan dismissed. "I wouldn't be this happy over a fortune."

"Even if it was a really big fortune?" she pushed.

"Even if it was all the money in the world." Miria smiled. Yes, he was just a good person. "Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?"

"Would it have mattered?" Miria traced her fingers across his chest.

"Well, yea." he admitted, grabbing her hand. _Because it was valuable?_ "Because I wouldn't have been so rough with you in the beginning if I would have known. Didn't it hurt?" Miria laced her fingers with his and felt tears rising to the surface. _Because I wouldn't have been so rough with you in the beginning if I would have known. Didn't it hurt?_ Yes, Furlan was just a good person. Even living in a world where women are commodified, his first concern was whether or not she was okay. Whether or not she had felt any pain. He was a beautiful man.

"No. It was perfect. It was everything that I wanted my first time to be." _It was freedom._


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** I'm gonna be honest with you guys: I have no idea where I'm going with this story, and yet, somehow, I know exactly what I'm doing. Is this writing?

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

* * *

Miria stirred and hesitated to open her eyes. She laid on her side, clutching the sheets to her chest, afraid that it had all just been a dream, afraid to see her large room back in the capital. She felt a muscular arm snake around her waist and soft kisses trailing down her neck and shoulder.

"You awake, mouse?"

"Yes…." She opened her eyes and they settled on her dresser—on the beautiful flower Furlan had brought for her. Its petals had been held in a tight bud yesterday, but it was starting to bloom. She turned onto her other side, wincing at the soreness between her legs. Furlan couldn't stop smiling at her, forcing her to join in.

"Are you sore?"

"A little."

"I'm sorry." He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and stroked her face. "I shouldn't have been so rough."

"You were very gentle." Miria said, moving in closer and kissing him.

"You're so beautiful."

"Furlan…I need to change."

"So, change."

"Not in front of you!" Her cheeks flushed. "It's indecent." Furlan's surprise turned to laughter.

"You were pretty indecent last night." His voice was seductive and low. He kissed her neck and groped her breast over the sheets. Miria bit her lip as his fingers quickly found her erect nipple. The addition of the thin fabric brought new sensations with it. If she hadn't been sore from their previous escapades, she would have instantly melted into his touch. She was still melting, but managed to compose herself when he pulled away to look at her.

"Nice try."

"Fine." Furlan gracefully admitted defeat, giving her a soft kiss. He rolled over to his other side and sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. Miria gasped at the heavy red marks that covered his back. She gingerly touched them.

"Doesn't that hurt?" she asked. They weren't bleeding, and no skin was broken, but it looked like he had been attacked by a wild animal. _Did I do that?_ She wracked her brain, but couldn't remember. Her body had reacted to him on pure instinct.

"Hm? What is it?" He slipped on his pants and moved to the mirror, checking his back. "Shit."

"Sorry!" Miria sat up, wrapping the sheets around her. "I didn't—" Furlan laughed and kissed her.

"Don't be sorry." He slipped on his shirt and left, giving her a final smile and wink before he closed the door behind him. Miria stood and slowly made her way to the dresser. Her clothes had been neatly folded and put away. _He's so sweet._ She pulled out a silk, pink sundress, catching a glimpse of her reflection before she put it on. Miria stopped. She stepped closer to the mirror to examine her naked body. It was the first time she didn't feel shame—the first time she wasn't disgusted at the sight of it. She tilted her head to the side, exposing her neck and touching the light red blemishes that had been left behind by Furlan—subtle reminders of their night together. She admired them a bit longer before beginning her day.

* * *

 _Year 843:_

* * *

"Ow…ow!" Furlan rubbed his neck where the edge of the scissors had poked him. "Watch where you're sticking those things!" he growled.

"Well, if you would stop squirming, I wouldn't keep poking you with them!" Miria yelled, putting her hands on her hips.

"I'm squirming because you keep poking me! I hope you're not this clumsy with a scalpel!"

"If I'm cutting someone open, they're usually not awake, idiot!" she smacked him over the head. It was well deserved in Levi's opinion.

"Ow!"

"Take the haircut like a man, Furlan." Levi cut in, taking a sip of his tea. _They're so loud._

"Easy for you to say. Tch." Furlan winced as Miria combed through a tangle in his hair. He snatched the comb out of her hand and stood, holding it above his head, well out of her reach.

"Knock it off, Furlan!" Miria jumped, trying to grab it from him. "If I don't cut the other side, you're gonna be lopsided!"

"I'll be lopsided if you rip out half my hair!" Furlan retorted.

"If you just brushed your hair more often this wouldn't be such a chore every time." Levi was clearly taking sides.

"Thank you!" Miria threw her arms up in the air. "I've been telling him that for months."

"Why do I need to brush my hair? I'm not a noble woman." Furlan puckered his lips, stuck out his rear, and moved his hips side to side in a mocking manner. Miria kicked his shin. "Shit!" He dropped the comb right into her hands as he bent down to grab his leg.

"No, but you sure complain like one!" she replied, pushing him back down onto the chair. Miria snipped the last bit of hair and wiped the comb on her apron. "There. I'm done. You're free to go, my lady." Levi snickered and Furlan pouted.

"She doesn't cut your hair, Levi. You don't understand how painful it is." Miria glared down at the blonde and twisted his ear in retaliation. "Ow! Ow! Okay!" Levi ran a hand through his hair and watched the raven locks spill back into his eyes. It was getting a bit long.

"Fine, cut my hair." Levi said. He stood from the couch and traded seats with Furlan. "I won't even cry like Furlan did the first time."

"I didn't cry! I got hair in my eyes!" he defended.

"Sure." Levi dismissed.

"Are you sure, Levi?" Miria asked.

"Yea, why not."

"Okay, bring the chair over to the sink so I can wash your hair first."

"Hey! This looks pretty good!" Furlan's excited voice came from the bathroom. He ran out and leaned forward to kiss Miria. She flicked her fingers, greeting his advance with water to his face. "Aww…c'mon. You're mad at me?"

"Yes. I need you to stay away from me while I try to swallow my rage. Just like the last time I cut your hair, and the time before that, and the time before that." Miria responded.

"Told you it was a chore." Levi added.

"Fine, fine. I can tell when I've worn out my welcome." Furlan waved his hand and laid across the couch, watching Miria lather Levi's hair with soap.

"Doubtful." Levi and Miria said in unison.

"What are you staring at?" Levi asked Furlan.

"Just waiting for the fireworks to start." Furlan responded with a smirk.

"Tch." Levi leaned his head back into the sink and suddenly realized how close he was to Miria. He relaxed into her touch as she worked her fingers gently through his locks. She repeatedly wiped water away from his forehead before it neared his eyes. Her silky curls fell from her shoulders as she leaned forward and softly grazed his face. _Jasmine flowers._ He closed his eyes and inhaled. Her scent was sweet. It was comforting.

"Lift your head." He opened his eyes and saw her smiling down at him, cradling his head with a towel. _Divine. Like an angel with dark hair._ He thought about how drastically his opinion of the girl had changed in the year that they had shared a home together. She had gone from a threat, to a nuisance, to an object of lust, and back to a nuisance all within the first hour of her arrival. He hated her for picking him—for forcing him into the position of taking care of her. He didn't need a burden. He didn't need to be a target. It was fine that she could cook and clean. It was fine that she brought a few luxuries from the capital. It was fine that she brought tea, but it had done little to dissuade him from hating her.

His temper ebbed a bit when he saw how kindly she treated the orphaned children around them. It increased when she asked Furlan to steal specific medical texts, but lessened when he learned it had been for creating antibodies for a few of the sick men. Levi thought it had settled into tepid disagreement when he had pulled a muscle in his back, and she told him she couldn't administer any pain medication because one of the ingredients had caused an allergic reaction on his skin. He understood it, but the pain was unbearable, and he laid on the couch, tensed, on his stomach, huffing and trying to move. _Levi, stop! You'll make it worse!_ He had snarled at her like a wild animal, and that was the first time she hadn't retreated from him. She had furrowed her brow in defiance and brought her lips to the pulled muscle, breathing on it over his shirt. The heat of her breath had soothed it momentarily, but the pain returned as soon as she stopped. So, she didn't. She sat with him for hours, keeping the pain at bay and gently massaging the area to stretch it and increase blood flow. _She's not the worst thing to happen to me._ She had spent the next few weeks regularly massaging his back and working out knots in his shoulders and neck. She had helped him stretch properly every morning and corrected his posture whenever he began to slouch, letting him know that it might have been the cause of his troubles. So, he followed her advice. He sat up straight, and pulled his shoulders back when he walked. It helped. In those moments, she was a comrade.

When Furlan had confessed to him that they were short on money again, it was troublesome. They owed payment to their men, and the food was beginning to run low. Miria had dropped the broom with a loud clunk and ran off, returning with handfuls of jewelry from her room. _Sell it! Sell all of it! I don't need any of it!_ Levi had initially refused until she threatened to walk down to the marketplace herself and sell it. It had angered him. Couldn't she see how stupid that was? Couldn't she see how breathtaking she was? Couldn't she see how quickly criminals would flock to hurt her? Couldn't she see how devastated he would be if anything happened to her? _Devastated._ It was a strong word for a comrade. Perhaps it was more appropriate for a friend. _Friend._ Yes, Miria had earned that. But Levi had misjudged his feelings until the night he caught Furlan sneaking into her room. He knew nothing good could come from eavesdropping, but it was a strange inclination. He couldn't justify it. His body moved on its own and his heart sank when he heard her sultry moans. _Devastated._ It was a word better suited for love.

"There! All done!" Miria smiled and ran her fingers through his hair, wiping away loose strands from his neck and parting it to his liking. Levi stood, making his way to the bathroom mirror. It was perfect, just like how his mother used to cut it. "Is it okay?" Miria nervously called from the other room.

"It's good." Levi responded, stepping back out to look at Furlan. "Did you enjoy your fireworks?

"Fine. It may not have hurt you, but just know she had a razor to your neck. Your life was in danger."

"You horse's ass!" Miria yelled, tossing a comb at Furlan. He laughed and ducked into his room before she could remove her shoes and use them as weapons. She rolled her eyes and began sweeping the hair off the floor. "Get some sleep, Levi. I'll clean up." She planted a quick kiss on his cheek as she made her way through the room. _Love._ It was a cruel thing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** Do you guys remember like...four chapters ago when I kept promising a longer one? And then it didn't happen...UNTIL NOW! I should really study now. So, there might be a slight pause in the updating for a couple of days, but we're finally getting to the main story line! Let me know what you guys think in the reviews! Thank you to antisocialFox and XxNimith531xX for your kind words! I really appreciate and it and it really helps me keep going on the story.

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

* * *

"Hey, Miria. What's it like living in the capital?" Furlan asked. His face rested in his hand, propped up by his elbow on the table. His eyes were a little glazed over, as if he were trying to imagine a world beyond his reckoning.

"It was kind of like this." Miria responded, pushing around a piece of fruit on her plate. "The men worked, the women shopped, and the Military Police kept the order."

"But there are no criminals." Levi corrected her. Miria thought of her father and laughed.

"O no, there are criminals, but much like everything else in the capital, they're bigger and scarier. Why do you think I came down here?"

"They must not get caught." Furlan reasoned.

"Everyone knows about their corruption and crimes. They commit them out in the open. They just do it politely and in suits." Miria answered.

"Then how come the Military Police don't arrest them?" Furlan pushed.

"Because when you have power and influence in a world where resources are scarce, no one is willing to lose their livelihood to make a point. If a member of the Military Police took it upon themselves to arrest a noble, at best, they risk losing their one source of income and they watch their family starve and die. At worst, they're executed and their family starves and dies waiting for them to come home."

"Why don't the other nobles or higher ups do anything?" Furlan was like a curious child learning about something new and bewildering. It was strange, perhaps because these had always been the realities of Miria's world.

"Because the system functions in a way where the spoils are split across the nobles. So, they have an incentive to rake in the money and resources, not question the corruption." she explained. There was a pause in the conversation.

"So…why did you leave?" Furlan finally asked.

"Does it matter?" Miria flinched at the sound of her own voice. The question came off harsher than she had intended.

"No, I was just curious." Furlan replied. "It's just that you've been here for over a year, and people don't typically choose to come down to the Underground, especially not when they can live in the capital." Miria stood and grabbed the plates. "What do you miss the most about living up there?" _He's like a dog with a bone._

"There's nothing worth remembering." she said plainly.

"There must be something!" Furlan leaned against the counter as he watched her wash the dishes, staring at her with starry eyes. "At least one thing." Miria stopped and thought for a while.

"Baths."

"Baths?" Levi asked.

"Yea, I miss my big tub. I loved taking baths whenever I was sore or tired."

"Furlan…do you remember that cliff we found?" Levi uncrossed his legs and turned his eyes to the blonde.

"O yea! It's not a bath, but if you're looking for the next best thing, we can take you up there." Furlan's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Up where?" she asked.

* * *

Miria stared up at the sky. It was beautiful. She had missed it. The small opening in the cave ceiling provided a window into her world.

"Wow…." she whispered, taking in the small swath of stars that were visible from their cliff. "How did you find this place?"

"Levi and I wanted to see if there was another way out when we first stole the ODM gear. There's nothing for the grapples to hold onto, so we can't escape through that opening, but it sure is nice to be able to see the sky and smell the fresh air every once in a while." Furlan explained. Miria looked at their cliff. It was pretty large, and she was pretty sure it had been a part of the mountain side.

"It must have collapsed in, leaving that hole." Miria said, touching the abnormal areas of grass and soil that seemed to grow out of the rocks. She leaned over the edge of the cliff, trying to see down to the bottom of the cavern.

"Don't fall." Furlan cautioned, holding onto the edge of her dress, just in case. _It's so high…I can't even see the bottom._ Miria finally made her way to the pool of water. Even in the darkness, she could tell it was clear. She dipped her hand into it. _So cold._

"It must have collapsed in a long time ago. It looks so deep." She touched the stone. "There's no cracks. It's so smooth. It must have just happened from rainfall."

"How long do you think it took to create a pool this big?" Furlan asked.

"Longer than a hundred years." Miria speculated. "Longer than a hundred thousand years."

"How do you know that?" Levi asked.

"I learned it from my mother." Miria ran her fingers across the smooth, wet stone again, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"Well, let's jump in!" Furlan said, stripping down. Levi followed suit.

"Here? What if someone sees us?!" She stood and looked over at the city. It was close enough for the lights to illuminate their way and sounds to echo to their location, but far enough away that they were concealed by the darkness. The dim moonlight couldn't be seen through the light pollution. It was a hidden oasis. Yet, Miria still felt so uncomfortable. Stripping down in front of her father had been horrifying. She only stripped in front of Furlan when arousal would override her shame. Even after they were done, she would cover her body and make him leave before she could redress. There was something so…indecent about it all. She stared at the two naked men jumping into the pool and blushed.

"You have to stop being a noble woman sometime." Furlan said with a smile. "Just let go." That's right. She was still holding onto the rules of her old home. It was silly. She didn't need to be ashamed and afraid anymore. This was her new home, and her new home was accepting and loving. _Just pull it together. Start by moving your arms._ Miria grabbed the hem of her short dress and took a deep breath. _One quick motion. Don't think, just act._ She flung it over her head, tossing it onto the grass, pulled down her underwear, and kicked it away with her foot. She jumped into the pool. _So cold!_ It was a massive shock to her body, but exhilarating at the same time. It made her feel alive…until she struggled to breach the surface of the water and found that she couldn't. _I'm drowning._ She sank like a rock, watching the last bubbles of air escape her. The stars still looked beautiful, even from beneath her glassy barrier. She felt an arm around her stomach as she began to inhale water. It quickly brought her to the surface, pulling her to the edge of the pool. Miria coughed it all up, and began swallowing air like it would run out.

"Are you okay?!" Furlan asked, swimming over to her.

"Idiot. Why'd you jump in like that if you don't know how to swim?!" Levi's voice was filled with concern. _He saved my life._ He moved his arm from her stomach to her back, slowly patting and rubbing it as she hugged the edge of the pool. She turned her head toward him and smiled. Her wet hair clung closely to her features.

"Because that's exactly what a noble woman wouldn't do." she replied.

"Welcome to the Underground." Furlan said. Levi gawked at her, but slowly relaxed, letting out a small laugh at her expense.

* * *

Furlan laid in bed and stared at Miria as she brushed her long hair. Section by section, her fingers effortlessly slid through the silky curls. He sat up, planting his feet on the floor and pulled her arm. She set the brush down and let him position her between his knees.

"Miria…." She pulled him close, taking in the smell of his hair.

"What?" she asked as he gently kissed her neck. His hands rested on her hips, his thumbs lightly rubbing against her silk nightgown.

"Will you tell me about your past?" She tensed, untangling her hands from his locks and positioning them on his shoulders, ready to push away. He felt it and held onto her tighter. "Please?"

"Why are you so interested in this?"

"Because I'm interested in you." Furlan pulled back and looked into her eyes. "How does someone as incredible as you end up in this position?"

"It's a long story, Furlan."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather just have sex?" Miria let out a nervous laugh.

"Well, I'll never say no to that." he joked. "But I want to get to know the real you."

"This is the real me."

"You have so many walls up." Miria pulled away.

"I'm really tired. Can we talk about this later?" She moved to the other side of the bed, dropped her nightgown to the floor, and wrapped herself up in sheets. Despite the distance she put between them, despite facing away from Furlan, he laid down beside her, pulled her in close, and kissed the top of her head.

"Yea. I'll be here whenever you're ready." _I'm sorry, Furlan._

* * *

Levi's woke at the sound of the window unlatching. He grabbed the knife from under his pillow, slowly approached his bedroom door, and began to inch it open.

"Tch." He relaxed when he saw Miria, resting her elbows on the sill and leaning out with an enamored look on her face. "I almost stabbed you." he explained, peering out of the window with her. "What are you doing?"

"Do you hear that?" Levi listened.

"The guitar?"

"Yea…it's so beautiful…." He recognized the song. "Do you dance?" He was taken aback by her question. Why did it matter?

"I don't know how." he replied.

"It's easy!" Her smile was so beautiful. He loved it when she was in a good mood. She would smile at everything. She held out her hands in front of him. "I'll show you." He hesitated a bit, parting his lips to resist, but decided to just go along for once. He grabbed her hands and she positioned them: one in hers, and the other on her hip. She came closer as she draped her arm on his shoulder and ran her fingers across the short hair on the back of his head. He took in every sensation: the permanent longing that her every touch left behind, the ache that amplified in his heart every time she spoke, every time she laughed, every time she looked at him, and every time she smiled. The silk of her nightgown tempted him. So did her skin. He wanted to press both up against his body tightly. He wanted to know what it was like to hold her. But guilt stopped him, so he just held onto her every word instead. He let her teach him how to dance. When the music repeated, he took the lead, showing her how closely she had seized his attention. When the music picked up speed, so did he. He stepped back, lifting her hand up above them, and she spun gracefully. He stopped the turns by pulling her into his chest and she smiled up at him as they swayed together. It hurt. "My…I guess Levi the Invincible has many talents."

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry, that was really good. Take it from someone who has been to hundreds of dances. You're the best."

"The best in hundreds?" _Was she dancing with rats?_

"To be fair, the music was never this good, and my company was never this handsome." He raised an eyebrow, skeptical about her claims. "They were all in their sixties." Her laugh was captivating. He wondered if she had planned on making him her prisoner from the very beginning.

"Idiot." he whispered as the song ended.

"Romantic." she said, unwilling to part with her good mood. She pulled away from his embrace and he felt a profound sense of emptiness. "You're not wrong, though." She returned to her spot in the window.

"What do you mean?' Levi picked up a pot and began to brew tea.

"My mother was an amazing woman. She was strong, and beautiful, and so brilliant. She loved medicine ever since she was little. She would find animals that were injured or dying and she would save them. She got so good at it that she wrote books about biology and chemistry. Most of what they teach in our schools is from her work. But she wouldn't dare stop there. She would storm down to the royal government nearly every day and demand to meet with generals and council members to get them to fund research efforts, especially in the Survey Corps. She said it was her responsibility to contribute as much as she could to society before she died—that it was every human's responsibility to do so. Even after she had me, she kept up the same routine, just with a toddler in tow. I think I was around four when she went to see a doctor who had nearly single-handedly cured a devastating plague. I remember she filled up her whole notebook within the hour, and we had to go buy another one for her to continue." Levi poured two cups of tea and placed Miria's on the window sill, leaning against the wall next to her and listening to her recount her story. "For as long as I can remember, I followed my mother from meeting to meeting, listening to her give impassioned speeches about the importance of truth and discovery. Her close childhood friend ended up becoming the general of the three military branches. She was close with each of the three commanders, too. They really respected and admired her. I don't think the royal council liked her very much." He heard her melodic laugh falter, and saw her delicate smile fade. "Despite all of her prestige, power, and accomplishments…even she couldn't escape the reality of being a woman. My father had enthusiastically pursued her. I never got the sense that she was all that interested in him, but he was the son of a man who owned many, many companies. He was rich, educated, and could keep her safe. That's what he claimed anyways. I think from the start, he was more interested in her military connections. Either way, their marriage was arranged and a year later, I was born. When I turned thirteen, my mother said it would be a good idea for me to start learning about medicine. She had somehow convinced my father to start a philanthropic effort to help residents of the Underground in getting medical treatment. The doctor who had cured the plague...he was hired on as a consultant and as my mentor. My father was really unhappy about it. He said that if my mother wasn't willing to give him a son, then she should at least be preparing me for womanhood so that I could give him a grandson to inherit his work."

"Not willing to give him a son?" Levi asked.

"I don't know the full story…but I don't think my mother wanted anymore children." Levi watched her fight back tears. "My father isn't the type of man to take no for an answer. Sometimes, when I saw her changing clothes or bathing, I would see so many bruises on her body. Sometimes I would hear her crying late at night. I think she was trying to escape."

"Where is she now?"

"Dead." He had known the answer. "I found her in bed a year before I came here." Levi tried to shake the images of his mother's death that came flooding back, haunting him. "Her throat was slit open, and my father said it was bandits. What bandits would break into a heavily guarded mansion in Mitras to kill someone, but not steal anything?"

"I'm sorry."

"Her friends, commanders of the branches, the general, the doctor, they all came to investigate the death with the Military Police. They found notes that she had written to my father a few days before she was killed. 'I won't let you commodify us. If you come after us, I'll kill you.' That's what she wrote. I think she was trying to take me and escape from him, and it scared my father to think that he was losing control, especially to a woman. So, he killed her. They couldn't find a weapon, and the guards said it was possible that someone could have gotten in and out without anyone noticing, but highly unlikely. It was all circumstantial. But I think the military general knew there was something wrong. He just didn't want to believe my father would do something like that. He assigned the commander of the Military Police to be my permanent guard. The doctor insisted that I continue my medical lessons with him. My father hated all of it, but I think he knew he was backed into a corner. Any attempts to isolate me from my mother's closest friends would have been treated as a threat and as an admission of guilt. So, he just made my life unbearable instead. I finally ran away when he arranged a marriage with some soldier in the Survey Corps."

"It sounds like marriage could have been your escape, too." Levi said. Miria laughed.

"My father is only stupid in comparison to my mother. In comparison to the average person, he's quite smart. When my mother died, I was left alone with him a lot. He would constantly undress and inspect me." He watched Miria's body tense. She brought her arms in closer, as if she were still protecting herself from this distant threat. "He said he wanted to make sure I was developing into a woman correctly. So, he would 'inspect' my breasts and…." she trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Did he—"

"No." she quickly interrupted. "My virginity had too much monetary value for him to rape me. He just did everything but. Marriage wouldn't have helped me. It would have made things worse. Whether it was one of his elderly, childless business partners, or a rising star Survey Corps soldier, they would both die soon, and in the interim, they would both be gone long enough for him to do anything he wanted to me…even give him a boy to inherit his work." Levi scowled. The thought of a man hurting her like that was more than he could bear. "Either way, he would add more wealth to his name, whether it was through already established companies or important military contacts for influence. I was never going to be able to escape it unless I disappeared."

"I'm sorry." He felt stupid. Why couldn't he think of any other words? _How long has she been carrying this weight?_ He looked up at her and was surprised to see her smiling again.

"Why are you sorry? You're the only one that kept me going through all of it." _All of it?_ His confused expression must have been plain to see. "My mother's friends were so kind. The first few months after her death, they would visit me every day. Eventually, we ran out of things to talk about. So, they started telling me stories about the world around us and beneath us. I could care less about the titans or the world outside the walls…I wanted to know more about Levi the Invincible. He was powerful, and no one could force him down their path. He was always one step ahead of everyone else. I wanted to be like that, too. I wanted to have my own identity, and my own purpose in life. I didn't just want to be a girl in the capital raised to be a bride." His breath caught in his throat. "Don't ever be sorry. If it weren't for your stories, I would have never had the strength or the courage to pursue you." She stopped and looked away. "I know it was an inconvenience…but I'm so grateful that you took me in. I know I'm a burden. I'm not like my mother…. I never rose up to be any of the things that she was. I ended up succumbing to everything that she fought against." Levi pulled her into a tight hug, unable to hold himself back any longer. It felt better than he could have ever imagined. She returned his affection.

"Levi…." He buried his face in her hair. If he could have frozen the moment, he would have been happy to live out the rest of his life there.

"No one is handed power. Take it for yourself. I can teach you to fight."

"Really?" Her voice was soft and slightly muffled against his shoulder. He felt his shirt dampen with her tears. "This is the first time I've ever had friends…the first time I've ever opened up to anyone about this and been this vulnerable. I was so used to putting on an act and lying to everyone around me in the interior. All I knew how to do was manipulate people. Furlan asked me about this earlier today, and I had no idea what to tell him. I was so scared that he would think I was a bad person...but I'm so grateful to have you both. I'm so lucky." _Friends. Vulnerable. Furlan._ Levi betrayed his emotions.

"You should tell Furlan." His voice was barely a whisper. "He really cares about you. He'll understand."

"Thank you." He pulled away and rested his hand on her head.

"We'll start your training tomorrow. Get some rest."

"Levi!" She grabbed his sleeve before he could disappear into his room. "What about you?"

"What?" he asked. She smiled at him. It hurt.

"I obsessed over your stories for over a year. I spent nearly every night dreaming about your adventures. I want to hear about them from you."

"Some other time. It's late." He saw the unmistakable look of disappointment on her face, and he felt guilty, but the pain was intolerable at that moment. "Good night."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** Yea, that whole studying thing totally didn't happen. That's okay, though. This happened instead.

 **TRIGGER WARNING:** There aren't any descriptions of sexual assault, but the language I used in regards to the thought processes afterwards could be triggering or difficult to read.

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

* * *

Levi felt sick. He laid in bed, staring up into the darkness, trying to forget his dream. When he had offered to teach Miria how to fight, he hadn't considered how close she would be to him all the time. How often he would have to wrap his arms around her. How often he would have to pin her down under the weight of his body and feel her writhe against him. How he would hear every breath and moan that left her lips in his dreams. His already problematic erection throbbed and swelled even more as images of her came flooding into his mind. Maybe he had known. Maybe it was a calculated decision that he had somehow repressed to relieve himself of any responsibility. He grabbed the bulge and tried to think of someone else, anyone else, as he rubbed it over his sheets. He imagined the girl he had lost his virginity to. _What was her name?_ Red hair…or was it brown? It didn't matter. They had found an empty alley and—no, that was the blonde. He quickly undid his pants and began stroking his length, trying to recall the encounter. It was no use. He couldn't really remember. It was pathetic. His real-life experiences were less than memorable, unable to fill him with the same level of excitement that his fantastical dreams had. He closed his eyes and gave into the fantasy. He imagined her straddling him naked, teasing him by grinding her wet opening against him. He stroked faster, imagining her blissful face and sighs as he pushed into her. A groan escaped him. His breathing was heavy.

"M-Miria…." He imagined her crying out his name, dripping with arousal, and begging for him to release inside of her. He grabbed his shirt from the ground and held it tight around his penis as he spilled, imagining that he was holding her hips down onto him as he thrust to fill her. Guilt began to creep into the void that the waning pleasure left behind. He was sick. It didn't matter how much he loved her. She was with Furlan. He should have been happy for them. He should have been supporting them, not nursing his secret lust—his secret envy.

* * *

"Hey! Where are you going?" Miria asked, rushing out of her room at the sound of the front door. "I thought we were going to train today."

"We're going to secure you some ODM gear!" Furlan replied.

"Really? So, I can start training with it when you get back?" she asked excitedly.

"We're just staking out the outpost today. We'll move in on it tomorrow once we know who's there." Levi explained. He tucked a knife into his pocket.

"We might just swipe it from some fresh-faced recruits." Furlan chuckled. "That worked pretty well last time."

"Don't do that." Miria said quickly.

"Why? You still got some loyalties there?" Furlan mocked.

"No!" She was almost repulsed by the idea. "I just remember the commander telling me that they have higher level soldiers looking after the new recruits ever since **someone** knocked two out in an alleyway and stole their gear." The men exchanged a quick glance. "Yea, I thought so." She tapped her chin in thought. "Look for squad leader markings under their emblems on their jacket. I think they're usually on the left arm. In the Military Police, squad leaders are basically recruits who have earned enough trust to not be supervised day and night. They're not experienced enough to fend off guys like you, and they're not under the same umbrella of protection that new recruits are because no one expects them to be targets."

"Phew. Good to know. Otherwise you might have had to come visit us in jail up top." Miria rolled her eyes at Furlan.

"No, I would've let you rot. If I can outmaneuver the Military Police, there's no excuse for you two getting caught."

"Yea, yea." Furlan planted a quick kiss on her lips. "See you."

"Stay safe." she replied, giving them both a final hug before they left. Miria fell back onto the couch and groaned. It was so boring without them. The time dragged on forever. Even after nearly a year and a half, she never got used to them leaving. It gave her anxiety every time. At first, it had been out of fear of her own safety, but now, it was out of concern for theirs. She sighed and opened up her medical textbooks, going through all of the concepts again to make sure they were permanently embedded into her brain. _An antibody can be created for toxic or foreign substances that induce immune responses in the body. This response can be recognized by various symptoms such as the cough reflex, mucus, skin irritation, vomiting_ — Miria's reading was cut short by a knock on the door. She opened it without thinking and immediately cursed herself. Who was this man? "Can I help you?" He stopped to eye her up and down. She kept half her body behind the door, making sure to leverage herself in case she needed to close it quickly.

"Get Levi." he replied with a strange smirk.

"Who's asking?" she pressed, glancing at the two men behind him. _Shit. Of course, this would happen when he's not home._

"I don't answer to whores. Now go get your master." The man hooked his callused fingers under the thin strap of her silk sundress and began sliding it off her shoulder. Miria smacked his hand away.

"I'm not his whore." She slammed the door shut and locked it before he could react, bracing it with a wooden chair. She heard the doorknob rustle and his raspy voice.

"Open the door, little girl. You think you're the first whore who's tried to come between me and her master? You think just because he fucks you every night it means he loves you? You don't mean anything to him. He'd kill you for money in an instant." The yelling continued for a while. More insults, more graphic descriptions of what he thought her relationship with Levi was like, and how Levi would sell her, or what he would let other men do to her for the right amount of money. She might have been more hurt by the words if they weren't all false. _Levi would never hurt me._ She remembered how he had flinched and tensed when she told him about her father. She remembered seeing the scowl on his face. _Levi would never let anyone else hurt me._ This man was mistaken. Even after the yelling stopped and she heard footsteps retreat down the stairs, she sat there, motionless for what felt like an eternity. She moved slowly, pulling the chair away from the door as silently as she could. The men were definitely gone, but some paranoid part of her worried that the slightest noise could bring them back. She returned to her books, shaking and tightly gripping a knife under the table. Her lip quivered and a pathetic squeak left them as she heard a key jiggling around in the lock.

"Hey." Levi said as he and Furlan stepped in. _It's just them._ A sigh of relief left her as she set the knife on the table. Levi gave her a puzzled look. _Should I tell him?_ It was so strange. She had completely neglected to think it through. Was it as big of a deal as she thought it was? Maybe it was just her fear in the moment. What would she tell him? Some guy came and yelled at her? He hadn't threatened her, at least not directly. "You okay?" Well…was she? He had touched the strap of her dress, but he hadn't hurt her. Maybe he just didn't have the opportunity. No, she was speculating. He did try to break in, though. Or was he just knocking loudly? Was her fear playing tricks on her? Was it just her previous trauma? "Miria." Levi took a step toward her and she opened her mouth to speak. _Should I tell him?_ He had been so protective of her ever since she opened up to him. She remembered how many times he had kicked the man who whistled at her and 'complimented' her figure. _If I ever catch you looking at her again, I'll scatter your body so far across the Underground that your children will never be able to recover all of it._ She remembered how irritated he had been when one of the younger boys had brought her a flower and told her she was beautiful. _You're getting a little too old to be so friendly with her._ He was completely intolerant of any slight against her, perceived or otherwise. Was it worth him getting into another fight? What if this guy was dangerous? What if he hurt Levi? No, she couldn't tell him. It wasn't that big of a deal. She was just overreacting.

"Miria…what's wrong?" Furlan asked, joining Levi. Miria stood and put her hands on her hips.

"Who the hell is Liza to you two?" she demanded. She wasn't sure how successful her attempt to distract would be.

"Liza?" Levi asked, looking over at Furlan. He thought for a minute.

"The prostitute I hired." Furlan explained. Levi raised an eyebrow. "To pretend to be Miria's pregnant patient." he clarified.

"I don't know her." Levi said. He grabbed a pot of tea and poured himself a cup. Miria turned her attention to Furlan and crossed her arms.

"So, you remember her name." she said. "As I recall, she definitely knew yours."

"You should always know the name of your business partners." Furlan chuckled, trying to add some levity to the conversation. "Right, Levi?"

"I think you meant to say one-time contractor." Levi stirred his tea, unwilling to help Furlan out of the conundrum.

"Ah, yes. Business partners. So, you two had several arrangements." she accused.

"Um..." Furlan looked up at the ceiling. "I guess you could call it that."

"So, you DID sleep with her!"

"I didn't pay her for it, though!"

"That's not better, Furlan!"

"Why are you worried about this a year and a half after the fact? I haven't seen her since that day!" Furlan defended. Levi shook his head and cleared his throat. "Okay, I saw her once since that day."

"You were sleeping with her while you were sleeping with me?!" Miria took off her shoe and raised it to hit him. Furlan quickly grabbed her arms.

"No! She had a baby! I was just trying to make sure she was okay. I let her know she could come to us for medical treatment if she needed any." he explained.

"…so, neither of you ever…sold or bought women?" Miria asked gingerly, aware of how insulting that might be to them.

"Of course not." Levi snapped. He quickly disappeared into his room, slamming the door behind him.

"What's gotten into you?" Furlan asked her.

"I'm sorry, I was just…I don't know."

"You know you can tell me anything, right? I'll always be here to listen." Miria nodded, staring at the ground, unwilling to meet his gaze. "Hey." He lifted her chin and kissed her. "You don't have to worry about any of that stuff with me. I'm already with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"What?" She was astonished. Furlan smiled and pulled something out of his pocket.

"We made a little detour on our way home." He opened his hand to show her a thin, delicate silver chain that held an intricately carved silver feather pendant. "Do you like it?" Miria gently ran her fingers across it. It looked so fragile.

"It's beautiful…."

"Let's see it on you." Miria turned around and lifted her hair out of the way. He pulled it around her neck and clasped it together. It fell on her collarbones, conforming to every dip and rise from her neck to the top of her breasts.

"How does it look?"

"Not as great as you, but pretty good." Furlan kissed her again. "I love you." _Love._ It was a strange thing to hear. Ever since her mother passed away, she was convinced that she had been undeserving of it. She had been convinced that it was just a manipulative word, used as a means to an end. But when she was with Furlan, she felt like she was flying. She felt like she had known him a thousand years, but eagerly waited for the next thousand to come. She longed to spend every moment with him, all while knowing that anything short of eternity wouldn't be enough. She felt completely free, but chose to devote herself entirely to him. She trusted him completely, and as a result, let herself be playful, vulnerable, all while being terrified of losing him. She felt an indescribable yearning for his happiness, but couldn't bear the thought of him not feeling the same way that she did. She felt…something. She wasn't sure what it was. At least, not until he had put the word to it. _Love._

"I love you, too."

"Then marry me." Miria nodded, unable to form the words through her tears. _Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll marry you. I love you._


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** This is a short one today, but I figured it kind of needed it's own chapter. I've been plotting stuff out roughly, and I think it's going to be approximately 2-3 more chapters before we step into the main story line, but who knows.

 **TRIGGER WARNING -** Implied sexual assault.

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

* * *

"Hey, look." Furlan nudged Levi and pointed at the squad leaders sneaking drinks of whiskey. "I guess Miria was right."

"Keep an eye on them. I'll go scout the area." Levi took off, effortlessly gliding from roof to roof. He stopped when he noticed a young boy, bloodied and crying. He held his arm, covering a deep gash down the length of it, and limped, desperately looking around. Despite his wounds, he moved quickly. Levi suddenly recognized him. He was the same boy that had brought Miria a flower. He jumped down. "Hey, brat. What happened to you?"

"Levi!" The boy ran over to him, falling against his chest when his leg gave out.

"Tch! Watch it." Levi grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away, glaring when he noticed the heavy blood stains spreading through his shirt and vest.

"You have to help Miria!" His heart sank.

"What?"

"Nikola showed up with ten men and—" Levi quickly leaned the boy against a wall and took off. _Shit._ His body felt slow. Why couldn't he move faster? _Why? Faster. Move faster._ The grapples of his gear noisily clanked into place as he sprinted up the stairs. The door was open. _Shit._ He stood at the threshold, watching a man zip up his pants. _Nikola._

"I don't know where you got the money for a silk dress, but now it looks fit for a whore." Nikola kicked something lightly, and as men moved to clear a path for their boss, Levi saw her. Miria laid on the ground, unconscious, covered in knife cuts. Her dress and underwear were ripped and stained, exposing her body. Blood dripped down her inner thighs. _Miria._ Was she even alive? "Levi…." Nikola's voice showed a hint of fear, and his men turned to face Levi. "I hope you don't mind, I helped myself to a little fun while we were waiting for you." Levi didn't take his eyes off Miria, looking for any sign of life—any movement. "O, if you're upset about the cuts, don't worry. I didn't cut her deep enough to scar. They'll heal in a few weeks and she'll be back to work. She's still worth good money. I don't like to damage merchandise, but you should teach her some manners." _Kill…._ Nikola held up his hand. "Look at how deep she cut me. Hell, that's not even the worst of it. She got me with that damn knife at least a dozen more places." _Kill them…._ "So, you understand, right? I had to teach her a lesson." Nikola held up her knife, twirling it between his fingers. The men laughed. Something in Levi broke. The adrenaline rushed through his veins, awaking a new monster. In that moment he knew exactly what he had to do. _Kill them all._ He shut the door behind him and locked it.

"She kept screaming 'Levi, Levi,' as loud as she could. Like you were gonna throw away our business for her. What a stupid bitch." a man said. _No survivors._ The man reared his leg back to kick Miria, but Levi moved faster. He easily slid his knife between his collarbones, all the way to the handle, and cut through until he reached the bone of his chin. Blood sprayed and the man dropped. Gasps and shouting echoed around him. He drowned them all out.

"Listen! Levi, there's no use getting upset over something that's already done." Nikola pleaded. _Kill them all. No survivors._

* * *

Furlan groaned as he lugged the heavy gear back home.

"Oi! Levi!" he yelled, approaching the front door. "You better have a damn good reason for leaving me alone back there." He kicked the door with his foot, waiting for a response. "Bastard." Furlan set down the gear and fumbled through his pockets, looking for the key. He opened the door and froze. "W-what the fuck…." Levi looked up. Miria's head rested on his lap.

"Furlan…she's still breathing. Help me bandage her wounds." Levi's eyes were red. Had he been crying? Furlan glanced around the room again. There was blood everywhere. He stepped over the dismembered bodies. They were in so many pieces, it was hard to tell how many men there had been. Furlan dropped to his knees when he saw Miria. Shallow cuts covered her whole body. Levi gently swabbed them with alcohol. Bruises covered her face. Her bottom lip was swollen around a cut. Lines of dried blood were present at the corners of her mouth and on her inner thighs.

"Miria…." Rage consumed him. "What happened to her?!"

"Nikola—"

"Where is the bastard?!" Furlan followed Levi's finger to a decapitated head. Nikola's face was twisted into a horrified expression: eyes wide, one gouged out, mouth agape, tongue hanging out. His face was covered in cuts, and Levi's knife rested upright, lodged in his temple.

"I made sure he suffered." Furlan grabbed a clean towel and poured alcohol onto it, slowly wiping down Miria's legs. They sat there silently for hours, meticulously dressing every wound on her. When Levi carefully placed her in bed, Furlan called over a few men, letting them handle the cleanup. Furlan dug his fingers into his scalp, remembering the previous night. _I guess you should know about your future wife's past, right?_ She had opened up to him, told him everything, and he had promised to protect her. He had pulled her into his arms and swore that nothing—that no one—would ever hurt her again. He let her down. He failed. _Failure._ He stood in the doorway, unwilling to take his eyes off her for even one second until she regained consciousness. Levi sat in a chair next to the bed, probably thinking the same thing. Miria scrunched her face slightly and let out a small peep. They rushed to her side.

* * *

It's so cold. Where am I? _Miria opened her eyes._ Snow? _She held out her hands and let the tiny white flakes melt against her bare skin._ It's so cold.

 _"Miria?" She turned to face the source of the voice._ Levi? _"Why are you out in the snow in your nightgown?"_

 _"I-I don't know…I don't know how I got here. I'm cold." She held her arms out to him. "My whole body hurts. It stings." Levi wrapped a cloak around her and picked her up in his arms. He held her close as they made their way through the snow. He stopped, suddenly dropping to his knees and resting her head on his lap. He gently stroked her cheek._

 _"I'm sorry, Miria."_

 _"Sorry for what?"_

 _"I'll never leave you again."_

 _"Levi…why are you crying?"_

 _"I swear, I'll never let anything happen to you again. I'm sorry."_

 _"Levi…."_

 _"I'm so sorry, Miria."_

 _"Levi, don't cry."_

 _"I'll protect you."_

 _"I'm so cold…." Miria closed her eyes, breathing in the crisp, winter air._

 _"Miria?"_

 _"Levi…."_

 _"Miria, are you awake?"_

 _"I'm so cold. It hurts."_

* * *

Miria's eyes fluttered open. _A dream?_ Her vision was blurry, but she could make out two figures.

"Miria, are you awake?"

"…Levi?" Her voice didn't sound like her own. It was hoarse.

"Thank God."

"…Furlan?" Her vision finally adjusted to the two men staring down at her. "What happened?"

"It doesn't matter right now." Levi quickly responded. "Just get some rest, okay?"

"Levi…I'm so cold." Darkness closed in on her again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** Alright! So here's chapter 13! I was kind of struggling with which world I wanted it to more closely align with-the anime or the manga, and I think I've settled on both, lol. So, I think like 99% of it is going to be more closely aligned with the manga because I think the story is just told better there. That might change as more episodes come out, but I have it planned out pretty far ahead. There are just some small things that I liked better in the anime. They're not huge plot-altering things, but I just feel like the story telling is better for my purposes.

That being said, thank you to UltimateFan-girl15, antisocialFox, nene9131, and Dark Mystique for your reviews! I super appreciate them and I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story. antisocialFox, I feel you. Solidarity. I think I get the same level of angst as my readers because like 99% of the time, I don't have the details planned out, just like MAJOR, MAJOR plot points. I'm winging it. So whoever she ends up with will probably be a surprise to both of us. nene9131, it's so funny that you say that because when I first started writing this story, I totally scrapped it and worked on the other iteration of Miria in "Only Human" because I kind of hated the plot of this story. I was like "nah, this has probably been done, maybe, idk, not feeling it." and when I started working on "Only Human" I immediately turned back on it and was like "...shit, I kinda liked the manipulative, bitchy Miria a lot better than the virtuous, principle driven Miria." So, we both started out on this story with an eye roll, lol!

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

* * *

Levi jerked out of his sleep, not realizing when his eyes had closed. He hissed at the pain in his neck from dozing off upright in a chair. Furlan's attempt to stay up for the second night in a row had similar results. His head rested against the wall as he sat on the couch, snoring softly. Levi stood and tried to stretch out the discomfort in his neck. He walked over to Miria's door and listened. Soft whimpering and sobbing, just like the night before. He stepped in, closing the door behind him. She laid at a strange angle, propping up her upper body with her hands.

"Miria, what's wrong?"

"I-I can't…sleep." she mumbled through sobs. "It…hurts." Levi stepped closer and noticed the blood stains on the white sheets. He slowly pulled them away and tensed at the sight of her bruised and bandaged naked body. She tightened her fetal position, as much as she could. Lines of blood, some smudged, trickled down from between her legs. He watched a drop fall from the curve of her thigh and onto the stained bed below.

"You need a doctor."

"No!" Her voice was a little more than a whisper. It was probably all of the strength she could muster. "P-please…I don't…I don't want t-to go back."

"Are you sitting like that because of your injuries?" Miria nodded. "Is that why you can't sleep? Your ribs hurt too much on your side, and you can't lay on your back?" She nodded again. Levi rushed to his room, grabbed the two pillows on his bed, and tossed them onto Miria's bed. She watched him as he took off his boots and vest and slowly slid into bed behind her. He slipped a leg on either side of her and lined the pillows around her. He pulled up the sheets, wrapping her up in them, and tightening himself to hold her position. "Is that okay?" Another nod. He kissed the top of her head. "Go to sleep." He sat there for another hour, listening to her jagged breathing. It hurt. He tried to think of anything he could do to bring her a little bit of comfort, anything that would take her mind off the pain. "Do you remember the guitar you heard?"

"Yea…."

"Do you know what song that is?"

"No…." Levi cleared his throat, trying to remember the verses. He had heard others singing it. _What was the tune?_

"Chairs so close and room so small, you and I talk all the night long. Meager this space, but serves us so well. We comrades have stories to tell." Miria's breathing slowed. "And it's always like that in the evening time. We drink and we sing when our fighting is done. And it's always so, we live under the burnt clouds. Ease our burden, long is the night." Levi sat there, repeating the few words that he knew in the butchered tune that he could until she fell asleep.

* * *

 _Miria walked through the meadow, taking in its perfection. Sprays of purple, pink, blue, and yellow wildflowers spread across the soft green grass. She could hear a stream nearby. The air was so fresh. The breeze felt so good. Miria closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. When she opened them again, she saw a woman sitting under a giant oak tree._

 _"Mom?" Miria's voice floated across the field and the woman looked up, smiling at her. "Mom!" She rushed to her side, falling to her knees as she reached the tree._

 _"Miria…come sit with me." Her mother held up a pink flower. "Let me braid your hair with flowers…just like when you were little." Miria nodded eagerly, sitting with her back to her mother and enjoying the feeling of her fingers through her hair. "Are you happy, Miria?"_

 _"Yes. I found a new home with two friends who really care about me. They really love me. I'm going to marry him."_

 _"Levi is a lucky man." Miria stopped and turned toward her mother._

 _"I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't tell you. I'm marrying Furlan." Her mother smiled and pulled Miria's hair forward, continuing to work on her braid, sticking small flowers into each twist._

 _"Do you love him?"_

 _"Of course. He loves me, too."_

 _"I don't doubt he does."_

 _"So…why did you say Levi?"_

 _"Do you think you made the right choice?"_

 _"I don't understand."_

 _"There. Your hair is so beautiful." she said, tying the end with a piece of straw._

 _"Mom…do you think I made the wrong choice?"_

 _"I think you should make the choice you won't regret."_

 _"I don't know what that means. Please, just tell me what to do."_

 _"I can't do that."_

 _"Why?! You're my mother! You're supposed to tell me what to do!" She kissed Miria's forehead and stood._

 _"I can hear the bell. The Survey Corps must be returning."_

 _"Mom, please! I don't understand. What are you talking about?" Miria stood and hugged her tightly. "Please, just tell me what to do."_

 _"Find love."_

 _"I did."_

 _"I agree."_

 _"Are you talking about Levi or Furlan?"_

 _"Let's go, Miria. We'll miss the meeting with the Survey Corps." Miria tried to run behind her, but even as her mother took slow, graceful steps, the distance between them grew._

 _"Mom!" She turned as the wind picked up. "Did you find love?"_

 _"Of course."_

 _"So…you loved dad?" Miria yelled over the growing winds. A smile appeared across her mother's lips._

* * *

Miria gasped and opened her eyes. She flinched as she sat up. _Levi…._ He had cocooned her through the night to help her sleep, and even after he drifted off, his arms and legs had stayed firm around the pillows. She touched his face, thinking about waking him, but this was the first time she had seen him sleep since that day. It was the first time she had seen him do anything other than diligently keep watch of the front door, planted in the dining room chair. She laid back down in her cloud of pillows and decided to rest, for his sake. _Find love._

* * *

 _Year 844:_

* * *

"Levi!" Miria hissed at the sleeping man. He jumped, rattling the chair he sat on in the process. "Go sleep in your bed!"

"Tch." Levi straightened out his neck. "And what would you have done if I thought you were an intruder and stabbed you?"

"How long are you going to do this?" Miria ignored his question, and Levi ignored hers by grabbing the pot of cold tea on the table. She followed him to the sink and watched him rinse it out. "It's been four months. You can't keep sleeping in chairs for two or three hours a night. You'll wear yourself out."

"I'm fine." She grabbed the pot from him, forcing him to meet her eyes.

"Are you?" Levi took the pot back.

"Yes." Miria snatched it again.

"Because it seems like you're not handling it well. What do you think watching the door all day and night is going to do?" Silence. "Levi, I'm begging you. Go to bed. If you insist on sitting out here all night, I'm going to sit with you. Just keep in mind I'm doing Yan's check up tomorrow, so I might end up botching his legs."

"Are you trying to guilt trip me?"

"Absolutely."

"Tch. Pain in the ass." Levi turned in defeat, retreating to his bedroom.

"I love you, too." Miria set the pot away and slipped back into her bedroom.

"Is he still out there?" Furlan asked through a yawn.

"No. I told him to go to sleep, but you should probably check in a little while." She slid in between the covers and into the warmth of his embrace.

"Okay. I guess this is good practice for having a rebellious teen."

"If you can get a baby past infancy." Miria laughed. Her smile slowly faded as she laid in bed for a while, unable to sleep. The remainder of the night passed quickly, and she gave up on the idea of resting before Yan's arrival. She slipped on pants and a long sleeve shirt, running her fingers across the material. After four months of nonstop training, she found it difficult to comprehend how she ever wore those short, silk dresses. Her new wardrobe might not have been as lavished or visually pleasing, but it was far more practical for life in the Underground. A soft knock on the front door brought her out of her thoughts, and before she could even reach her bedroom door, she heard Levi answer it.

"Good morning, Yan." she said, stepping out into view of the two men.

"Morning, Miria." Yan quickly took a seat on the couch, trying to hide his worsening limp. Miria began his examination.

"Well?" Furlan asked after a while.

"I don't know…." Miria finally admitted.

"You said it was malnutrition! Isn't it getting better?"

"Furlan, I don't know!" she snapped. "It's not just malnutrition. He's got fractures that aren't healing, probably because he went back to work after only a couple months of rest. He needed at least six with rest and good food."

"I-I'm sorry, Miria. I couldn't afford anymore food after the first month." Yan interjected.

"Sweetie, it's not your fault." she assured, lightly stroking his cheek.

"Can't you inject him with more steroids?" Furlan chimed in again.

"Sure. I can inject him with another round of steroids. They'll probably do irreparable harm to his heart and kidneys at this point. Especially considering how many I've pumped him full of them prior to this, but sure. I can do another round. Though, I'm curious, Furlan. When he needs a heart valve replaced, where are we going to get the anesthesia to perform that surgery? What about when his kidneys fail? Can you get a couple of backups on the Underground black market?"

"I didn't mean—" A knock at the door interrupted Furlan, and Yan quickly rolled down his pant legs and put on his boots to hide his injuries. _What am I missing?_ Miria pulled out medical textbooks, looking through every relevant section as Furlan let in his men and paid them, giving them instructions on how to spend the money carefully. She drowned out the noise. _There has to be something I'm missing._ She didn't notice Yan or the rest leave. _Fuck. There's nothing in here._ Miria slammed the book shut and pushed it off the table in frustration. "You know, jobs have been a lot easier since you got so good with ODM gear."

"What the hell does that matter?" Miria retorted.

"You know how the Military Police operate. It's helpful. Everyone's share has increased, too." Furlan explained.

"It seems one has increased more than the others. What's the reason?" Levi asked.

"Who?" Miria chimed in.

"Furlan's been slipping extra cash to Yan."

"The price of medicine recently went up. Seriously, these damn Underground merchants. Have you two heard? The stairway toll also went up.

"Yea." Levi didn't look up from cleaning his knife.

"With that, it's even less likely for him to ever see the sunlight. Not that he'd be able to stay long without citizenship. If it's the lack of sunlight that's making his legs go bad, it's not like knowing it will change anything."

"Your mother was the same, wasn't she?" Levi set down the knife.

"So, that's why you were so upset." Miria mumbled. She felt stupid.

"Even still, it seems like a large sum."

"It's compensation." Furlan took a seat on the couch. "At the very least, maybe he can find a good hospital up top. …how much more do we need to live up there?" Miria eyed the modest sum of money in Furlan's hand.

"I still have some gold we can sell." she offered. Before the men could answer, a rattling noise outside the door startled them. They each pulled out a knife. Levi stood in front of the door, and Furlan to the side, gently gripping the door knob. They nodded at each other, and Furlan whipped the door open as quickly as he could.

"Woah!" a red-haired girl yelled, falling into the house. She gripped her stomach tightly and struggled to her knees. Miria quickly ran over to her. _She looks young…maybe just two or three years younger than me._

"Hm? It's just a kid. That surprised me." Furlan remarked.

"Are you alright?" Miria asked, trying to help her up.

"…not a kid." the girl mumbled, refusing any help. She glared up at Levi with striking green eyes. "I'm not a kid!"

"Is that so? I won't feel bad for kicking you out then. I'll let the fact that you dirtied the floor slide. Now, get out." Levi replied. Miria gently brushed aside the girl's hair to examine her bruises. Her tunic was covered in dirt, like she had fallen over several times while running.

"Levi, I think she's hurt." Miria said.

"What? You can't move?" Furlan asked the girl.

"Of course, I can! Don't look down on me." The girl concentrated, struggling to push herself up by one hand and she kept the other on her stomach.

"What a strong-willed kid." Furlan teased.

"Over there!" a man yelled outside. The girl froze in panic. _I know that look._ She tried to get up again, but ended up falling against the door.

"Tch. Shit. You're being chased?" Levi grumbled.

"What should we do?" Furlan asked.

"Protect her." Miria interrupted. The girl seemed shocked by her response. Miria knelt down next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, offering her a small smile. "Don't worry." Levi and Furlan stood at the door, observing three men who were snooping around.

"When she's caught, I'll be the first to have fun with her!" one man said. The girl watched a scowl appear on Miria's face.

"There's nothing fun on a brat like that." another man replied. They shared a laugh.

"Oi! There's a dirty little kid over there, right?" the first man yelled. Miria stayed low with the girl, unable to see them.

"Those are the only kinds." Furlan joked.

"Huh? You guys are the thugs in this area?" the first man asked, slowly climbing the stairs. Miria observed him closely. He had an unpleasant disposition about him-rough and unlikable. He was older, probably in his forties, with short, brown hair atop his head like a mop. The man straightened out his green vest as he approached them.

"We are?" Furlan scoffed at the idea. The man seemed shocked when he saw Miria with the girl. The girl kept her eyes low, clearly terrified.

"Hey, I found her!" he called to his accomplices, who quickly joined him.

"Are you guys friends?" the younger of the two accomplices asked.

"Not at all." Furlan replied.

"Then hand her over to us." the older one demanded. "You'll be sorry if you cover for her. After all, she tried to get past the eleventh stairway without paying! Just so you know, the eleventh stairway is under the jurisdiction of one of the nobles: Mister Lovof." Miria immediately turned her face away from the men and focused on the girl. "Anyone who tries to pass there without paying is prosecuted." _Councilman Nicholas Lovof. Shit. They've seen my face. Are they going to recognize me? Are the going to report back? Are they connected to him? Are they connected to Petrus? Shit! Think._

"Of course, you guys will be charged, too." mop-head added. "For being her accomplice." The girl looked up at Miria, shocked, probably wondering what their next move would be. Miria smiled and gave her a wink. "If you guys get it, then hurry up and hand her over!" Levi and Furlan's unwillingness to respond quickly frustrated him. "I don't care anymore. Move away from her!" He made his way further up the stairs.

"Don't worry." Miria whispered to the girl, stroking her arm. She turned away from Miria and watched the man approach them, laughing. He placed a hand on Levi's shoulder, which was immediately met by the blade of a knife. The man stepped back, and the young girl watched him be kicked and beaten until he was all but limp in Levi's grip.

"Don't touch me with your filthy hand. I might get dirty." Levi's voice was low and intimidating. He kicked the mop-headed man down the stairs and promptly returned to wiping the blood off his knife.

"My, my, you won't get anywhere with him like that. We always prioritize hygiene. Wash your hands and come back again." Furlan teased.

"These guys are dangerous. Let's go." the younger one whispered.

"See?" Miria asked the girl. "Nothing to worry about."

"Oi, how long are you going to hold it to your stomach?" Levi asked the girl. "It'll die, you know." She gasped and pulled her hands away from her stomach, exposing a small bird in a nest.

"B-but I thought it'd be warm."

"What's with the bird?" Furlan asked.

"It got lost on its way here, probably through some duct. So, I thought I'd bring it to the surface."

"Don't tell me you tried to break through the stairway just for that." Furlan's eyes widened in surprise. The girl smiled and gently stroked the bird.

"This guy would want to fly in the sky instead of being here underground."

"Well, that's fine, but its wing is injured, you know." Furlan knelt down next to her and examined the bird.

"Really?!" The girl pulled the bird closer to her.

"Yea, but don't worry. Miria can patch him up." Furlan smiled at Miria. "She's a doctor." The girl gasped.

"You're really a doctor?!"

"Well, kind of." Miria said with a laugh.

"C-can you help him?"

"I'll do my best." Miria took the bird from the girl's hands. "What's your name?"

"Isabel." the girl whispered and she watched Miria work. "Wow…you're really good, you know. Miria, right? O! What's your name?" Isabel turned toward Furlan.

"I'm Furlan, and that's Levi."

"Furlan…and…big brother Levi!" Isabel said excitedly.

"Big brother?" Levi seemed genuinely surprised. Miria giggled. It was rare to catch him so off guard.

"Listen! Please let me become one of you!"

"Huh?" Furlan also seemed taken aback by her.

"You guys have been using ODM gear, right? I've seen you before! I felt really jealous. You guys fly around like birds. Please! I want to try it, too!"

"What do you think?" Furlan turned toward Levi and Miria.

"Fine by me." Miria said with a smile. Levi stood and began walking to the front door.

"Please!" Isabel pleaded. Levi stopped and looked down at her.

"If you stay here, learn to clean before you learn to use ODM gear." He left without another word. Isabel looked to Furlan and Miria for confirmation. Furlan gave her a small nod and her face lit up with a huge grin. "Thank you, big bother, Levi!" she yelled out to him. _What a sweet girl._

"Furlan, you should probably clean out your room for her." Miria said, gently placing the bandaged bird back into the nest.

"There isn't much in there." Furlan replied. "If you want to see it, it's the middle door." he told Isabel, motioning to his room. She quickly took off with the bird.

"We might have a problem." Miria whispered. "Can you get Levi?" Furlan nodded and took off, returning in just a few minutes.

"What is it?" Levi asked. Miria glanced toward Furlan's room, hearing Isabel fumbling around with furniture.

"Those men said they worked for the eleventh staircase under the jurisdiction of Lovof, right?" she began.

"So?" Levi pushed.

"Councilman Nicholas Lovof is a close personal friend of my father's. Those men saw my face. I have no idea how closely related they are to him. They didn't seem to recognize me, but Lovof's staffer, Petrus Heiden, is how I found you. He's the one I got that map from." Levi and Furlan exchanged nervous glances.

"Shit." Levi finally said after a long pause.

"We don't have the money to move again." Furlan added, biting his thumb in thought.

"I don't know how serious this is, yet." Miria confessed. "Like I said, they didn't seem to recognize me. I didn't speak or get involved. Chances are, even if they are connected to Lovof or Petrus, the most memorable thing about that encounter will be Levi leaving that guy's thumb hanging on by a single muscle. It might be better to just lay low and observe for a few months."

"We can't really afford to lay low." Furlan mumbled. "What do you think, Levi?"

"Miria, you lay low for a while. We'll teach Isabel to use ODM gear and take over for you for a couple of months. If nothing happens, you should be okay to move around like normal." Levi said.

"And if something happens?" Miria asked. "We should have some contingency plan in place."

"Do you have one?" Furlan asked.

"Yea. There are a few different scenarios, but all of them more or less end in you guys being caught up in some kind of a conflict with the Military Police. Have someone ready to work as a messenger if that happens. I can use myself as a bargaining chip."

"Absolutely not." Levi rejected the idea without a second thought.

"Levi, I can always escape from a mansion. You and Furlan are going to have a much harder time escaping from a locked cellar at the bottom of a Military Police jail. We don't really have any options, but I need your support on this."

"I'll think about it."


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** Okay, I've written chapters 15 and 16, too. I'm just going through and refining them. I'm gonna be totally honest: I still have no idea where the whole love interest thing is going. When I first started it, I kind of had an idea of who I wanted Miria to be, and I threw some names up in the tags as general ideas. I guess we'll just see where it goes. I have like next to 0 idea.

Thanks to IAmSomebodyElse for your review! I try to make the character interactions sound somewhat organic (or at least as much as I can muster). Seriously guys, your reviews keep me going. I need to know if I'm fucking up somewhere and I also love to know that you're enjoying the work (or not enjoying the work and have a better idea). The reason I ask for reviews so often is because I consider your analyses of my work in the actual writing portion. So, I might have something planned out and if someone comments and says "I hope this goes this way because it seems like it would fit" or "I hope you're not taking it this direction because that would be kinda dumb" it makes me consider different avenues of writing that I would otherwise not consider. It's like a collective effort. Help me. I love you all.

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

* * *

Miria looked up from her books as Levi, Furlan, and Isabel made their way into the house.

"Did you get it?" Miria asked eagerly.

"Yea." Levi pulled out a box and she inspected the label, her smile quickly fading.

"Rare tea leaves. Seriously?"

"Oops. Wrong pocket." Levi joked with his usual stoic face. His sense of humor was often lost on all except Furlan and Miria. Even Isabel had trouble keeping up from time to time.

"Hilarious." Miria replied, exchanging the box for the sealed medical supplies he removed from his cloak. "Aren't you guys back a little early?"

"Did we interrupt your alone time?" Isabel asked, throwing her arms around Miria in a loose hug.

"Just a little." Miria responded, rubbing the top of Isabel's head.

"We ran into a problem." Levi explained, taking a seat on the couch. Miria nodded, counting the scalpels in her kit. "There was a small fight and—"

"I'm sorry, who started this small fight?" Miria asked.

"Technically, the bald guy." Furlan defended.

"And actually?" Miria pressed.

"Levi." Furlan admitted.

"Yea, I thought so. Continue, Levi."

"When we left, we used ODM gear. There was a soldier from the Survey Corps, staring at me like he knew me."

"Maybe he was just surprised you had ODM gear." Miria reasoned.

"It didn't look like surprise. The creep was smiling at me like he was eyeing a piece of meat."

"…maybe he thought you were handsome?" Furlan asked, earning himself a glare from Levi.

"Well, we don't know anything, yet. Let's save the speculation for—" A sharp knock on the door interrupted Miria. "Were you followed?" she whispered.

"Hide." Levi said, pushing Miria toward the bedroom. She quickly slid behind her bedroom door, leaving it open just a crack as she listened to Furlan greet their visitor.

"Sorry sir, we're closed for the day. We also don't sell anything." Miria rolled her eyes at Furlan's joke. _Does he have no sense of danger?_

"That's fine. I'd just like to buy a moment of your time." a man replied.

"Well, we have plenty of that, but it's not for sale." Furlan said with a laugh.

"I've already made the down payment. Yan was admitted into the royal hospital this morning. He is receiving the best treatment money can buy. The least you can do for my troubles is listen to my proposal." _Yan? How do they know about Yan?_ Miria suddenly thought back to her medical tent. _Shit! I left all of my patient notes behind! Fuck! No…that wouldn't be enough. It has been almost two years. Was it just sheer time? Did they go through all of my notes? Did they contact every patient? Yan would have come up just by process of elimination. He's got no poker face. Fuck! Think._

"Tch. I don't know how things work up top, but down here, we call that taking a hostage." Levi growled.

"Let me speak plainly. I'm a messenger from a certain figure." the man continued. "A man in the Survey Corps named Erwin Smith is trying to capture you and enlist you in the military." Miria's heart dropped. She hadn't even considered that Erwin or the Survey Corps could get involved. It had to be obvious to her father, and everyone else, at this point that she had come to the Underground to find Levi. She shouldn't have left so many loose ends. _Shit. Think._ Miria took a deep breath. _It didn't look like surprise._ _The creep was smiling at me like he was eyeing a piece of meat._ Her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. _Was that Erwin? Was he the one who saw Levi? Shit._ "If you entered the Survey Corps, we would want you to steal a certain set of documents from him and, if possible, end his life."

"Huh." Levi finally responded. "Why would a proper citizen like you come all the way to the Underground just to tell bad jokes? Did being so far from the sun screw up your internal clock? Who'd believe such crazy talk?"

"The reward is cash and the right to live in the royal capital." the man bargained.

"That's even more suspicious. Go back up there and I'll pretend I didn't hear anything. This is a waste of time." Levi scoffed.

"Wait, Levi." Furlan interrupted. "We understand what you want, but this is so sudden. We simply can't respond right away. You understand, right? Please let us consider your offer."

"Fine. Tell me your decision by tomorrow. This should be obvious, but don't say a word to anyone. Don't try anything funny, for your friend's sake."

"Is that a threat?" Furlan asked.

"No, merely a statement of facts. Here's another: whether or not you choose to get involved, Erwin Smith will still make contact with you, and unlike me, he won't look the other way about Miria staying here." Miria heard a gasp escape from Isabel. _Dammit Isabel, don't react to that. He might be bluffing._ "I thought as much. I hope you're doing well, Lady Miria. Not the life I would have chosen, but to each their own. Follow through with our request, and we'll even give her a new identity so she can join you above ground." _Fuck me._ Miria remained hidden behind the door of her room, refusing to give away her position just yet. She heard the front door close and she stepped out.

"This is bad." she immediately clarified. "I'm almost certain that man is tied to Councilman Nicholas Lovof. I need to know what the Survey Corps soldier that was smiling at you looked like."

'Tall, blond hair, blue eyes, undercut..." Levi tapped his knife on the table, trying to remember more details.

"Built like a titan?" Miria asked.

"Sure." Levi responded. _Shit._

"That man is Erwin Smith. He was the rising star Survey Corps soldier that I was betrothed to."

"Of course, he was." Furlan laughed. "God forbid we have it easy for once." Furlan thought for a second and smirked. "I'll trail him. We need to pin down who this 'certain figure' is. The money aside, the right to live in the capital is unthinkable for people without connections in the noble or merchant classes."

"Even if we manage to get these documents, then we'll be the next targets." Levi pointed out.

"Most likely. So, we'll get the documents and use them to blackmail our 'certain figure.'" Furlan explained.

"And you think those pigs will care about a threat from the Underground?" Levi asked.

"If it's credible." Miria interjected. "I thought it was strange that Lovof had a man dedicated entirely to watching criminal activity in the Underground. Even stranger that it seemed to be so narrowly focused on gang leaders, particularly Levi. However, it makes perfect sense if you're involved in criminal activity that you need to cover up. From what I know, Lovof isn't fond of the Survey Corps at all. He wants to eliminate them all together if possible. If he's willing to overlook my stay here—no, if he's willing to actively cover up my location and lie to my father, the Survey Corps must have some serious dirt on him. I think he would take any threat—Underground or not—very seriously."

"It's worth trying then. This is our chance." Furlan quickly took off with Isabel, leaving Miria and Levi alone.

"I'm sorry, Levi."

"For what?"

"I was sloppy. When I first escaped, I left behind my patient notes. They must have gone through them and found Yan, just by process of elimination."

"You're forgetting. They already had my location before you showed up. If you hadn't shared that information with us, who knows whether this man would have shown up to make me an offer, or if the Military Police would have shown up to put me in shackles." Levi stood and placed his hand on Miria's head. "Get some rest. I have a feeling things will begin to move far more quickly." She nodded and waited for Levi to disappear into his room before equipping her ODM gear and taking off toward their oasis. Miria landed gracefully on the cliff and stripped down, enjoying the feeling of the soft, cold grass against her bare back. These felt like her last days of freedom. All of the sudden, walls were closing in on her again, penning her into her role.

"It was fun while it lasted." she whispered into night, staring up at the stars through the opening. It was so strange how much like home this place had become in just two short years. Miria turned her head to the left and smiled when she saw the old bird nest still sitting on the rocks.

* * *

 _"Wow! This place is so great!" Isabel exclaimed, running with her eyes glued to the morning sky. They caught glimpses of birds flying overhead through the opening. Isabel held up the bird nest in her hands. "C'mon little guy. You can do it!" The bird refused to budge. "Hm? Are you still hurt?"_

 _"He's fine." Miria said with a smile. "He might just be tired. Set him down on the rocks over there. He'll get up and fly when he's ready. In the meantime, we can enjoy the pool!" Isabel nodded and set the bird down, gasping in awe when she turned and caught sight of Miria's naked body._

 _"Wow! You don't have any scars!" Isabel circled her, examining her closely. "How is that possible?!" She quickly pulled off her own tunic and showed Miria her body. "I have scars everywhere!"_

 _"I guess I was just lucky." Miria dipped down into the pool and leaned her head back against the edge, enjoying the sunlight._

 _"Furlan said you were a noble in the royal capital. Why did you leave?"_

 _"The surface is overrated." she joked._

 _"No way! It's got to be better than this!"_

 _"Would you want to live up there without Furlan or Levi?"_

 _"Of course, not! That would be so sad."_

 _"That's why I came down here. There was only grief for me if I couldn't be with them."_

* * *

"I thought you might be here." Miria opened her eyes and smiled.

"You know me well. Why are you here, Levi?"

"I should be asking you the same thing. If I hadn't seen you take off with the ODM gear, Furlan, Isabel, and I would have been in a panic looking for you."

"I just needed to get away for a while."

"That's fine, but you don't have that luxury right now. Our safety depends on open communication."

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"Bullshit." Miria repeated, propping herself up on her elbows and staring at him. "When have you ever opened up to me? Furlan, Isabel, and I have been completely open about our pasts with each other and you. When have you ever done the same?" Levi seemed at a loss for words at first, but eventually sighed and removed his ODM gear, laying down next to Miria on the soft patch of grass.

"Fair enough. Where should I start?"


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** Thanks SaberNymph for your review! I wasn't going to drop this chapter for another couple of days-but fine! fine! You got me! Let me know what you guys think!

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

* * *

Miria leaned close to the mirror, nearly checking every pore on her face for any signs of imperfection. She leaned back and smiled, running a brush through her hair once again and straightening out the wrinkles of her black, silk dress—the same one she had disappeared in two years ago. She chuckled as she loosened the bodice lacing around her breasts. Her diet in Mitras had been just enough to keep her functioning. God forbid she might gain the slightest bit of weight and turn off potential, shallow suitors. It was surprising how much healthier she had gotten since moving in with Levi and Furlan. She had gained weight in both fat and muscle, giving her body a toned and lean look, while still extenuating her curves. She slipped on the last bit of her gold jewelry and walked out to the living room.

"Wow! You look pretty!" the small orphaned girl said, admiring Miria's lady-like gait. Miria smiled and handed her a small bag of food.

"You did good. Make sure you share with the others, okay?" The girl nodded and Miria kissed her forehead. She watched her scurry down the stairs and closed the door behind her, leaving it unlocked. Not that a lock would do any good at this point. She poured herself a cup of tea and sat in the dining room chair, patiently waiting for the inevitable. The door opened and three men walked in. Miria looked up. _Wings of Freedom. How ironic._

"Lady Miria, I am Squad Leader Flagon Turret of the Survey Corps. I've been sent here to retrieve you on behalf of your father." Miria calmly sipped her tea.

"I don't suppose there's anything I can offer you to look the other way, is there Squad Leader Flagon?"

"No, ma'am."

"Very well." Miria stood and walked over to him, her refined mannerisms of the royal capital suddenly flooding back. "O, would you mind having your helpers gather my things? Those medical textbooks are quite valuable. I'd hate to lose them."

"Yes, ma'am." Flagon motioned for the other men to begin packing up the house. Miria politely rested her hand on Flagon's arm, just like a proper noble woman.

"Shall we?" He led her down the streets of the Underground, tensing at every lust filled look that was tossed her way. She felt his muscles contract under her fingers and spoke up when she noticed him reaching for his sword. "I wouldn't worry about it." Flagon looked down at her, no doubt surprised by her acuity. "They might be staring, but I promise you they won't engage."

"These are dangerous thugs. I don't think my rank will hold them off forever." Flagon whispered. Miria laughed.

"Squad Leader Flagon, your rank means nothing to them. The reason they won't engage is because the last man to touch me without permission ended up watching his body be dismembered piece by piece. Though, admittedly, I'm not sure how good his view was. One of his eyes had already been gouged out at that point. But you should have heard his screams echo through these caves."

"How can you stand to live among these criminals. They're morally repugnant, but you, you're a proper noble woman. I don't understand."

"I would rather live among thieves with honor than among monsters without a conscience." They turned a corner and Miria saw Furlan, Levi, and Isabel down on their knees. The sound of her heels brought all attention to her, and Erwin smiled.

"It's good to see you again, Miria."

"Erwin. I wish I could say the same."

"How painful, and here I came all this way to rescue you." Miria let go of Flagon's arm and slowly approached Erwin, eyeing the blades in his hands.

"Why wouldn't you? You and my father can't afford to have such a valuable commodity running unchecked." Miria stood in front of the tall man and smirked up at him, one hand on her hip. "Tell me, how much did you pay for the pleasure of my body?"

"I think you misunderstand. Your father is worried about you."

"Of course, he is. He worries the same way when his factories take damage. You should've seen the grief and panic in his eyes when one of them delayed a day's shipment. You would think he lost his only child." Miria examined Erwin's uncomfortable expression and trailed her fingers down his arm until she reached his hand. "Tell me, Erwin." She took a step back, bringing his hand up to her chest, blade and all, and softly stroked his knuckles. "Were you stupid enough to endorse his contract prior to retrieving me?" She watched him carefully for any hint. Small, nervous movements, almost unnoticeable by the untrained eye, gave him away. "Because that would be **tragically** stupid. After all, if you endorse his contract, he has no reason to marry me to you. In fact, he probably counted on you to uphold your end of the deal, out of honor, so he could sell me to one of his older, wealthy, childless business partners. That would be the best of both worlds. Tell me the great rising star of the Survey Corps didn't play right into his hand." Erwin's jaw tightened. She smiled. "My, it's like you've never been screwed. Well, I suppose that's kind of what you wanted, right?" Miria pulled his hand in closer to her chest and watched his nervousness grow under his calm demeanor. "Just not in this context. I'm curious, though. Given our current conundrum, what would you have done if I struggled? How would you explain to my father why his most valuable possession ended up with bruising and cuts—diminishing her value? Don't you think he'd be upset?" Miria felt Erwin's grip on the sword loosen just a bit. "I think he'd be extremely upset. I think he'd storm General Zackly's office and demand that the soldier who scarred me be court-martialed and executed. I think General Zackly would agree." Miria didn't wait for his response, she pulled his hand back hard, slicing herself from shoulder to shoulder with his blade.

"Miria!" Furlan called out. "Let go of me you fucking bastard! Miria!" She heard him struggling against a soldier, but kept her eyes glued to Erwin's, who had immediately pinned his arm across her chest, and his hand on her back, to stop the bleeding. She laughed as he watched drops of blood drip down to her breasts.

"You know the funny thing about blood? No matter how hard you scrub, you can always find a trace of it somewhere. In between the cracks of a blade, for example, or in the fibers of a Survey Corps jacket. I wonder how my father or General Zackly will react when they see that a big, strong man like you used such unnecessary force with a delicate, little girl like me. Make your choice, Erwin. Look the other way, or face the gallows."

"That's insane!" a soldier spoke up.

"Yea, we all saw you cut yourself!" another added.

"Did you?" Miria asked. She turned her head toward them. She looked down to Levi, who still seemed shocked by her actions. "And what did you three see?"

"I saw these civil servants attack that poor noble woman!" Isabel yelled.

"How dare you raise your blades against a lady like that!" Furlan added, though still visibly shaken.

"It's shameful." Levi said with a scowl.

"How interesting. Let's take a count." Miria turned back to Erwin, raising a fist. "I have…my blood on your sword." She raised a finger. "My blood on your jacket." She raised another finger. "A deep cut down my delicate, little frame from your blade." Another finger. "And the testimony of three Underground residents, who, may not be reliable, but they're sure as hell looked on more favorably than the Survey Corps at this point, especially by the noble class. I wonder who the general will side with. I think you're a little outgunned, Erwin." Miria's smirk faded when she noticed one appear across Erwin's lips. He started laughing.

"Flagon, take care of her wound." Erwin finally said.

"What's so damn funny? You're backed into a corner. Or are you too stupid to realize it?" Miria snarled. Flagon pulled her away from Erwin and began dressing her wound, but she refused to break eye contact with the cocky squad leader.

"No, it was extremely well played. I enjoyed the narrative. You spun the lies into your swaths of truth so intricately, it became almost impossible to distinguish between the two. In fact, **I** would be lying if I said I could."

"So, you're willing to bet your life on it? You must be pretty confident."

"Not at all. But I suppose that's why they call it gambling." Erwin slid his blades into his ODM gear and walked over to Levi, staring down at him and smirking. "Now…that's the face of a man who wants to kill me and escape. I'd like to avoid any rough treatment if I can." Levi remained silent. Another soldier grabbed Levi's hair and shoved his face into a puddle of grime. Miria scowled and tried to pull away from Flagon, with little success. "I'll ask again. Where did you learn to use omnidirectional maneuvering gear?"

"We didn't learn it from anyone! We taught ourselves!" Isabel cried out. "Let go of him!"

"We figured it out so we could survive in this dump. Anyone who doesn't live among sewage couldn't understand." Furlan added.

"My name is Erwin Smith. What are your names?" More silence from Levi. The soldier never let go of his hair, instead, he just lifted Levi's face and shoved it back down into the puddle, this time deep enough to cover both his mouth and nose. When the bubbles stopped, he lifted Levi's face to meet Erwin's. Levi gasped for air.

"I applaud your determination, but keep it up and we'll move onto your comrades." Erwin explained. The soldier turned Levi's face to Isabel and Furlan as his comrades brought swords to their necks.

"Stop it!" Miria screamed, elbowing Flagon right in the jaw. Flagon kept his grip around her tight.

"What is your name?" Erwin repeated, ignoring the commotion around him.

"Levi."

"Levi…." Erwin knelt down in front of Levi, stepping into the puddle. "Would you make a deal with me? I won't ask about your crimes and in return, you will lend me your strength and join the Survey Corps."

"If I refuse?" Levi asked.

"I turn you over to the Military Police. Considering your crimes, the least of which are murder at this point, I don't think you or your comrades can expect decent treatment. In fact, I hear harming a beloved noble like Miria Antoun carries with it a death penalty." Erwin smirked over his shoulder and Miria made no attempts to hide her disdain for him any longer. "Choose whichever path you wish." He was clearly mocking her. Levi glanced between Miria, Isabel, and Furlan.

"Very well." he said through gritted teeth. "I'll join the Survey Corps."

* * *

Miria slid into the carriage next to Levi. They remained silent until the door had shut and the hoof beats of the horses were loud enough to drown out any whispers.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Furlan asked, examining the integrity of Miria's bandages.

"I was thinking we were backed into a corner. I took a shot. It just didn't land."

"A shot?! You could have died!" Furlan scolded.

"O, please. If I went any shallower, the blade would have missed me all together. Erwin noticed the second my muscles tensed and pulled his arm back. It's not even that deep."

"It was a stupid move." Levi agreed.

"Well, what's our next stupid move?" Miria asked.

"Wait for that blond jackass to show an opening so I can kill him and take the documents." Levi dug his nails into the plush seats.

"We can probably skip the killing him part. As long as we have the documents, we'll be untouchable." Furlan explained. "No need to complicate it." The carriage slowed to a halt and the door was quickly opened by Erwin.

"Huh? Are we at the headquarters already?" Isabel asked.

"No. These are the Mitras Military Offices." Erwin held out his hand to Miria. "This is your stop, Miria. The rest of you will continue to head out to the Survey Corps Headquarters outside of Wall Sheena."

"I think I'd prefer to go there as well." Miria replied, glaring at Erwin's hand.

"Unfortunately, that's not an option for you." Miria exchanged a quick glance with Furlan, Levi, and Isabel before taking Erwin's hand and letting him help her out of the carriage. "I have a few questions for you before I take you home."

"Ask away." Miria had no intention of answering them, but clung to anything that would prolong her reunion with her father. He led her up to his office and locked the door behind them as they entered.

"Have a seat." Erwin said, pulling out a chair from his desk and facing it toward the door so he could stand between her and the only escape route in the room. Miria sat and crossed her legs, letting the slit of her dress expose her inner thighs, leaving just enough to Erwin's imagination. She smirked when she saw him eye her. Even with a blooded bandage across her chest, she found it amusing how easy men were to manipulate. She leaned back in the chair and sighed.

"You know, some might say us meeting like this is indecent. After all, we're not even married yet, and you keep eyeing me like a piece of meat."

"Merely checking for weapons." Erwin assured.

"Isn't that a little paranoid?"

"Not after your last stunt. Now tell me, how did you find Levi and slip away undetected by the Military Police? What was your relationship to him?" Miria smirked at his questions. _What a jealous man._

"My stunt? You mean when you ruthlessly attacked me?" She looked up at him with feigned innocence in her eyes. Erwin gripped the armrests of her chair and hovered over her, his face centimeters from hers.

"You haven't seen me be ruthless yet. I was fairly hospitable to your friends." She inhaled his breath and all of her confidence momentarily abandoned her. Miria felt the same heat rush through her body as the day she had met him. The same ache in her groin. She pushed away the thought and shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"What're you going to do? Torture me?" she egged on.

"Don't be silly. I would never put my hands on a woman like that. Though, I wonder. Who in your group of friends would break first if I were to torture them?"

"You know the answer as well as I do: Isabel. But like you said, you would never put your hands on a woman like that."

"True. I suppose Levi is the type who wouldn't crack no matter what I did to him."

"Fair assumption."

"So, by process of elimination, I guess that just leaves Furlan." Miria tensed and cursed herself for it. There was no way Erwin didn't notice, at least not judging by the smirk on his face. "What was Furlan to you?"

"He's your soldier now. Are you really going to go back on your word and torture him?" Miria asked. "How distasteful."

"I do what I have to." She tried to stand and Erwin quickly brought his hands around both of her wrists and the armrests, locking her into place with his strength.

"I demand to speak to your commander!"

"If you ask politely." Erwin replied with a smirk. Miria scoffed.

"Fine. I politely request a meeting with General Zackly so I can have you court-martialed for treating me this way."

"Neither Commander Shadis nor Genreal Zackly will be getting involved in this. It seems they've temporarily recused themselves. Turns out they have a bit of a soft spot for you because of your mother." Miria scowled at the man.

"Funny. I thought you had a soft spot for me, too." Erwin let go of her wrists and stood up straight.

"If you refuse to answer my questions, there's no further need for you to be here. I'll return you to your home."

"Fine."


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** AHH! Okay! I'm posting chapter 16 and chapter 17 back to back because I think it jumps around too much for them to be the same chapter, but they're also tied together so closely that I'm going to go ahead and assume it would be what we in the fanfic community would call "a dick move" if I didn't post them together.

That being said-Thank you ClosetCase for your amazing and thoughtful reviews. You are a beautiful person and I super appreciate them:

1\. I'm definitely going to go back and edit chapter 13 at some point. I was pretty burned out when I wrote it, and I think I was just trying to get through the informative portions of it. I definitely wasn't super happy with it either, and I'm glad you pointed it out because now it'll actually force me to go back and fix it.

2\. I promise there's a reason for leaving Levi's back story a little open ended. I won't say what. But I promise there's a reason. You won't know when it's coming. But I promise there's a reason.

3\. In regards to Erwin, I think I'm definitely exercising a little bit of literary liberty with him. I always kind of got the impression of him being very sinister from the manga. Like, he **_seems_** like this straight laced soldier, but then you turn around and he's [spoiler alert-avert your gaze if you're not caught up] blackmailing people, sanctioning torture, planning coups, and the people closest to him (like Keith Shadis, Darius Zackly, Nile Dok, and Levi) have this very set mentality of him being cold and calculating. So, I guess I wanted to expand on that part of his personality-the part where he stops at nothing to get what he wants, ethics and morality be damned because that's just always the impression I've gotten from him. I think he just does it in a polite and well spoken way.

I hope that clears some of the writing up-but I love it! Keep 'em coming!

 **TRIGGER WARNING:** Implied sexual assault.

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

* * *

Miria felt the strength leave her body with every step she climbed to the front door of her house. Erwin had taken his sweet time getting her back here, really letting her stew in the anxiety of the inevitable. Sitting in his office for hours waiting for him to return was mind numbing, but now she wished that she could return to it. The anxiety grew and she tried to keep her composure. Fear overtook her as soon as the front door opened and her father stared her down. A shudder passed down her spine.

"Upstairs." She quickly obeyed his command, her anxiety increasing as she noticed the lack of servants. She hid behind a corner and listened in on his conversation with Erwin. There was a moment of silence, most likely to give her the opportunity to disappear into her room. "Come in, Erwin. I know you can't stay long, but I'd like to hear your thoughts on this."

"Of course." Erwin replied.

"Did she tell you anything?"

"No. Unfortunately, it was difficult to get anything out of her."

"What was her relationship with those two men?"

"Based on what I could gather from their reactions, I believe she did have a relationship with one of the men. However, that is just speculation. When we questioned the girl in their group, Isabel, she expressed deep admiration for Miria. Isabel said that when they first met, Miria had protected her from men threatening to rape her as punishment for trying to sneak past the eleventh stairway."

"I see."

"This may be difficult to hear, but when we asked Isabel why Miria would do that for a stranger, she said that Miria had been raped in the past by a dangerous gang leader in the Underground. Miria said something similar to the squad leader sent to retrieve her. Something about…the last man to touch her without permission ended up in pieces. About six months ago, there was also a report of the butchered bodies of approximately eleven men being found by the Military Police. It was difficult to identify their faces, but I believe these incidents might be related." Miria dropped to the floor, trying to calm her heartbeat. This was it. It was over. If her father knew she wasn't a virgin, she wasn't safe anymore.

"I see…that is troubling. Are you still willing to marry her knowing all this?'

"Of course."

"Good." There was a pause in the conversation. "I noticed her bandages. What happened?"

"As a last-ditch effort to save her friends, she cut herself with my blade to blackmail me. I should have been more careful. I apologize."

"Do you think it will scar?"

"I'm sure it will. The cut was deep enough. Again, I apologize for my carelessness." Miria's heart sank. _Dammit, Erwin._ Him not knowing the extent of the damage was a safety net. He wouldn't risk scarring her and diminishing her value. He would wait until she healed to determine an appropriate punishment. It would've bought her a month, and now that was gone, too.

"Why are you apologizing? She's your property." Miria rushed to her room, locking the door behind her. She grabbed her sheets and tied them to her balcony, climbing down with ease. There were no servants, no guards, no one to hear her scream, and no financial motives to hold her father back. She fumbled with her dress as she ran out of the garden and escaped into the streets. _Fuck._ Her mind was frenzied and panicked. She picked a direction and started running, her heels tapping loudly against the stone. There was a wall in every direction. She would hit it eventually. She could make her way to a gate and escape. She just had to keep running. She heard footsteps behind her and tears began to stream down her face. She ran faster. An arm snaked around her waist and she lunged forward like an animal, trying anything to break free.

"No! NO!"

"Miria, stop!" Erwin said, trying to hold down her flailing arms. She elbowed him in the jaw. Jammed her heel into his knee and heard him hiss. She beat her fists against his arms and thrashed in his grip.

"No!"

"Calm down!"

"No! Let go of me! You have no idea what he'll do to me! Let me go!"

"You're going to break something! Stop!"

"Kill me! Kill me!" she shrieked through tears. "Execute me if you have to! Don't take me back!" She reached for his blade and Erwin pinned her against a wall. She squirmed against him for as long as she could until her muscles gave in to exhaustion.

"Miria, calm down. I know you don't want to go back, but your father was really worried about you." She rested her head against his chest, her breathing shallow and jagged.

"Please…kill me."

"Stop saying that."

"If you feel anything for me, kill me. Don't take me back."

"Stop!" Erwin stepped back and her knees buckled. He quickly caught her and picked her up. He looked down at her distraught face as he walked. Miria was sure she resembled a mere shell of the woman he had encountered in the Underground. She had gone from confident and collected to terrified and hysterical. She curled into his arms the closer they got to her house, like a traumatized child, trembling and whimpering.

"I'm so sorry for the trouble, Erwin." She flinched at her father's voice and gripped Erwin's jacket tightly. "I'll give her a lesson on obedience tonight."

"Please don't leave me…." she whispered. "Please stay with me…."

"I'll come check on you in the morning." Erwin assured, making his way up the stairs. Miria didn't respond.

* * *

Erwin stood at the base of the carriage, staring up at the mansion. _Why was she so scared? Why did she run away?_ Sure, her father was a jackass, but he was no different than most men in Wall Sheena. The idea of women as property was not one that Erwin had ever been able to get behind, but it was hardly controversial, especially among the nobles.

"Shall we go, sir?" the driver asked. Erwin glanced at him for a moment before returning his attention to the mansion. _Please don't leave me…. Please stay with me..._ He touched his shirt, still wet with Miria's tears. He fought the urge to climb back up the stairs. Time was short. The last few rays of sunlight lingered in the sky, unable to hold back the stars any longer. He needed to deliver the documents soon.

"Yea." Erwin finally responded, climbing into the carriage. He felt wrong. _Why was she so scared?_ No, he couldn't let it bother him now. He needed to focus on the mission at hand. She would be fine. Despite her skill and intelligence, she was still seventeen. Much like the other young girls in the capital, she was rebellious and dramatic. Erwin swallowed the lie, letting it temporarily ease his guilt and the growing fear in his stomach.

* * *

"Woah-ho! It looks like there's a whole party!" Hange exclaimed, walking out to greet Darius and Erwin. "Good to see you, General Zackly!" She saluted.

"You're chipper as ever, Hange." Darius replied, stepping up into the carriage. "Have you met Miria before?" Erwin stepped in behind Darius, taking a seat across from him, and Hange sat next to Erwin.

"I haven't!"

"O?" Darius moved his eyes to Erwin.

"I wanted Hange to try and talk to Miria about her disappearance. Maybe she would feel more comfortable with a woman." Erwin explained.

"Sorry I'm late." Nile said, slipping into the carriage next to Darius.

"Still not a morning person?" Erwin asked.

"Not even a little." Nile replied, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The carriage took off, shortly arriving at the Antoun residence. The party made their way up the stairs and knocked on the door. No answer. "They're probably still asleep at this ungodly hour." Erwin knocked louder, making sure that it would be heard throughout the house.

"Ivor!" Darius called out, knocking loudly on the door. "Are you in there?" No response.

"Something's wrong." Erwin said, trying the door knob.

"May I?" Hange asked, politely making her way to the front. She took a deep breath and kicked, sending the door nearly flying off its hinges. She shoved it open as it scraped along the floor. "After you, gentlemen."

"You're scary as ever, Hange." Nile muttered. "Erwin! There's blood!" Nile pointed to the drops that were scattered down the hall. They spread out through the house and Erwin followed them up the stairs. The droplets stained the light-colored carpet. He threw open every door in his way. Guest bedroom. Bathroom. Closet. Bathroom. Guest bedroom. Bathroom. Half bathroom. _How many damn bathrooms does a house need?_ He swung open the next door and froze—but only for a moment. _No! Let go of me! You have no idea what he'll do to me! Let me go!_

"Hange!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He ran over to the unconscious girl and dropped to his knees, gently pressing his fingers up against her neck. _Kill me! Kill me!_ "C'mon, c'mon." he whispered, trying to feel her pulse. _Execute me if you have to! Don't take me back!_ He put his face next to her mouth and let out a slight sigh of relief when he felt her breath. _Please…kill me._

"Did you find—AH!" Hange's reaction was far more hysterical than his.

"I saw an emergency medical kit in the hallway closet. Hurry!" Erwin shouted, refusing to take his eyes off the girl, afraid that any lapse in attention would allow the tiny bit of life in her to escape. _If you feel anything for me, kill me._

"Miria!" Nile yelled, running into the room.

"What happened?!" Darius joined in.

"I-I don't know. Nile, check the other rooms. Find her father." Erwin tried to hide his panic. _Don't take me back._

"Here!" Hange handed him alcohol and gauze as they both began to dress her wounds. Miria laid there on her stomach, unconscious and pale as they swabbed the deep gashes on her upper thighs. Some stretched from the front of her hip bone all the way to the back of her buttocks, as if she had been beaten mercilessly with a whip. "I can't stitch these. There are too many overlapping each other. She's just going to have to recover from them in bed." Erwin carefully lifted the girl so Hange could properly wrap her legs. The wounds were so precise. As if they had been left in the one place that no dress would uncover. The rest of her body had remained untouched. "Erwin…." Hange looked at him and paused.

"What?" She glanced between Miria's legs, distress visible on her face. _Please don't leave me…._

"There are clear signs of sexual assault." _Please stay with me..._ He didn't respond, he lifted Miria up higher and looked down when he heard a slight thud. A bloodied knife. She had probably been holding it close to her chest.

"Erwin. Ivor Antoun is dead. He was stabbed multiple times. He's in his bedroom." Nile announced. _I'm so sorry, Miria. I should have stayed with you._

* * *

Miria opened her eyes slowly, flinching at the brightness of the sun. She tried to turn to her side, away from the window, but let out a pathetic yelp at the pain in her thighs.

"Hey! Don't move!" She let her vision adjust to the source of the voice. Short brown hair. Beautiful green eyes.

"Eren!" she sat up, ignoring the pain and smiled at the boy. The sheets slipped off of her, and she suddenly noticed the bandages that were wrapped around her like makeshift clothes. Even the addition of a silk nightgown did little to relieve the eyesore that she was at that moment. But none of that mattered. She turned her attention to the lovable little child in front of her—who promptly ran to her bedroom door and began screaming down the hallway.

"Dad! She's up!" Eren ran back, and Miria held out her arms, letting him jump into bed with her. She held him tightly.

"I missed you so much! I haven't seen you since you were seven!" She lovingly showered his forehead with kisses. "How old are you now?"

"I just turned nine!" he replied excitedly.

"What! I forbid you to grow anymore!" She tightened her embrace. "What happened to that cute little kid I used to watch and play with all the time? You're almost a soldier now!' Eren's eyes darted to the door and he motioned for Miria to lower her voice.

"My parents still don't know that I want to join the Survey Corps!" he whispered.

"O! I'm sorry!" Miria whispered back, motioning a zip over her lips.

"Miria, you certainly sound better." Grisha said, walking into the room.

"I'm sure the physical state of my body is improving, yes." Miria half agreed.

"Yes, well given what you've been through, that's the best we can hope for."

"What happened to you, Miria?" Eren asked. Miria and Grisha exchanged nervous glances.

"A bad man tried to hurt her, and Miria was injured trying to fight him off." Grisha explained.

"If you didn't fight, would you have been hurt?"

"No…probably not as bad as I'm hurt right now." Miria admitted.

"Then…why did you fight?" She was surprised by his question. She parted her lips to answer, but stopped and tried to think of the best way to formulate her thoughts.

"This man wanted to take away my freedom. I didn't want to live like livestock. I want to be free more than anything else. I figured…I **needed** to fight. If I win, I live. If I lose, I die. If I don't fight, I can't win." Eren's eyes lit up, as if he had just come to a new understanding of the world around him.

"I have to get going, Miria. Hange Zoe of the Survey Corps will be here soon to take over your medical care. Do you need anything in the mean time?

"No, thank you, Dr. Yeager. You've done more than enough. Is there anyone else in the house right now?"

"No, for the moment it's just us. I believe Nile will be joining Hange so you have a familiar face."

"Thank you." Miria turned toward the small child, still cradled in her arms. "Are you going to come visit me again soon?"

"Yea!" Miria laughed and gave him a final kiss on the forehead.

"Good! I missed my buddy!"

"I missed you, too, Miria!"


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:** Yayy chapter 17. We're getting there, guys.

 **TRIGGER WARNING:** Sexual assault.

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

* * *

Hange stood at the entrance of Miria's door, stifling tears. Miria stared at her and sighed.

"Hange, please don't cry." Hange sniffled and nodded, holding her medical supplies to her chest, though doing very little to quell her emotions. Miria initially started with just rolling her eyes, but quickly determined it wasn't enough of a dramatic gesture and rolled her neck back, too. "Hange…please. You cried the first time you treated me, the first time you saw me conscious, the first time you changed my bandages, the first time I walked around, our first rehab session, and the first time you saw me eat a full meal. It's been two weeks, I can't take anymore crying. Hell, I actually want to cry, but every time I feel like it, there you are, stealing my thunder."

"I-I'm sorry! It's just so upsetting!" Hange exclaimed, pushing her arm up under her glasses and furiously rubbing her eyes."

"I know. It's going to be okay, though. You'll get through this." Miria comforted her half-sarcastically. Hange nodded, looking at her with new determination…which quickly turned back into a quivering lip and resulted in another ten minutes of Miria holding her and deep diving into a piggy bank of generic reassuring phraseologies. When the crying finally subsided, Hange pulled off Miria's bandages and examined the wound. "I look like medium rare steak…."

"The red and pink coloring should fade in another few weeks. Do you have full mobility again?"

"For the most part. It feels a little tight and awkward, but I should be able to move like normal."

"Good…. Hm?" Hange turned toward the door and stepped out into the hallway upon hearing voices downstairs. "General Zackly! Erwin! We're upstairs."

"Ugh. What is he doing here?" Miria frowned.

"He's been really worried about you, you know? The first three days when you weren't conscious, he stayed with you day and night."

"Unsupervised?"

"No, Nile and General Zackly were here, too."

"O, good. So, I won't have to take inventory of the valuables." Miria remarked, slipping her nightgown back on as she heard the men near her door. She forced a smile when the two men entered.

"How are you doing?!" Darius asked, immediately pulling her into a hug. Miria hissed and pulled away.

"Still a little tender." she explained.

"Sorry. I was just so worried about you." He ran his thumb over the edge of the scar on her shoulder. "Well, that's healing up nicely. It's so light in only a couple of weeks. I bet it won't even be that noticeable in a month or so."

"Yea. How are Levi, Furlan, and Isabel?" Miria asked, turning her attention to Erwin, who had been awfully recluse and barely able to meet her gaze.

"They're adjusting to military life. They're preparing for an expedition outside the walls in the upcoming month." Erwin explained. She could tell guilt was consuming him.

"I'll pack my bags and you can take me to them." Miria explained.

"Pack your bags? You can't stay in military lodging." Darius laughed.

"I can if I'm a soldier in the Survey Corps." Miria pulled out a bag from her closet and carried it over to the bed, unzipping it.

"But you're not." Darius added. Miria looked up at the two men.

"Erwin offered Levi, Furlan, and Isabel a deal: they can join the Survey Corps or they can be prosecuted for their crimes. Am I not being offered the same courtesy?"

"You didn't commit any crime!" Darius exclaimed.

"That's right. What you did was self-defense." Erwin agreed. Miria laughed and turned toward Hange.

"Hange. You examined both my scene of attack and my father's scene of attack. Tell me, what was the state of the scenes when you looked at them?" Hange shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, keeping her eyes low. "Please be honest."

"…the pool of blood found attributed to Miria was beginning to show signs of center desiccation. The pool of blood found under Ivor was still in the gelation phase." she finally admitted. Miria examined the blank faces and laughed.

"I'm so sorry! I was so used to being around intelligent people like Dr. Yeager and Hange that I completely forgot you military men are better at spilling blood, not analyzing it. I'll clarify. Hange, how long does it take for center desiccation—or the drying of the center of a blood pool—to take place?"

"Approximately nine hours." Hange's voice was low. She knew the implications.

"Interesting. How long does it take for gelation to begin?" Miria continued, keeping her eyes on Darius and Erwin.

"Approximately one and a half hours."

"So, if you were going to file a report, which I'm sure a responsible soldier such as yourself wrote up, what would you be obligated to include in said report?" Miria smirked.

"Miria Antoun was assaulted by Ivor Antoun approximately seven hours prior to his death."

"And that's the most favorable lighting." Miria explained. "I didn't kill him in self-defense. I waited for him to fall asleep. I went down to the kitchen. I grabbed a knife."

"Miria, stop!" Darius yelled.

"And I gutted him like the pig that he was." she finished. "Whatever Levi, Furlan, and Isabel did in the Underground, at least they did it to survive. I killed out of spite, and for no other reason."

"Do you have any idea what you're confessing to!?" Darius asked, grabbing her by the shoulders. She could see the fear in his eyes.

"Absolutely." Miria whispered. "Violation of clause six of the Humanity Charter, right? Prioritizing my own gain over the safety and longevity of humanity? I'm willing to bet that my father's business partners are scrambling to tie up loose ends right now. I'm willing to bet that the communication you've had to take on for his companies has been an endless nightmare of shifting priorities and volatile markets. I'm willing to bet that it's been a real disruption to the status quo. Actions like mine, actions that could so severely destabilize our system, are the sole reason this clause was added. Even you don't have the pull to save me from execution if Hange submits that report. So, offer me the same deal. Hide my crime and let me go on living in the Survey Corps…or I swear to you I'll make sure everyone knows what I did." Darius pulled away and looked at Erwin, desperate for some solution. It was cruel. Miria had broken Darius' trust in her before, and now she held his love for her hostage. She could tell it was wrong, but she didn't care. She felt like a completely different person. It was as if her previous manipulations were just a game. Quiet little tricks played in the shadows by a child. Miria had thought she was a bad person for those deceptions, but it soon became clear to her that they were white lies. She had always been very much concerned about the people that she loved. She couldn't bear to hurt Nile or Darius. For so long, she had felt so selfish for disappearing without a word to them. Guilt had penetrated her, spreading through her like a disease. She had been a proper woman—blaming herself for her desire to be free. But things were different now. The guilt, the shame, the blame, they had peaked that night when she quivered on the ground in front of her father. Her body had refused to move. Her limbs stayed constricted even when she saw him retrieve a bull whip. She had begged her body to move, to use the strength that she had acquired through Levi to stop it from happening. Her voice had been lost and her body remained immobile. Something had died within her when her father forced himself into her. The pain was excruciating, but only secondary to the humiliation. She tried to scream, but the first whimper that left her made it so real. That was her voice. This was her body. It was happening to her. So, she closed her eyes, bit her tongue, and tried to escape from her reality. If she couldn't see her surroundings, if she didn't hear her own voice, then it couldn't be happening to her. She tried to drown out the pain and his voice. _If you're so eager to spread your legs for some Underground rat, then fine. There's no need for me to be gentle with you._ She could still feel his breath on her face. She could still hear his disgusting grunts as he pulled out and spilled onto her stomach. She could hear his loud footsteps behind her as she scurried to the bathroom, desperate to wash herself of his scent. She could hear him screaming as she shuddered and gagged when she ran the water across her stomach. She had vomited when the reality began sinking into her. Her body's response was to violently reject it. His anger had grown. She could feel the sting of his hand on her cheek. _Being with me disgusts you?! You screamed and moaned for some criminal but I disgust you?! You really are your mother's daughter. She was a whore just like you!_ It suddenly became so clear to her. _The world is cruel._ She needed to be crueler. She couldn't afford to think about others. It was a liability. If she wanted her freedom, if she wanted to survive, she had to fight. _Fight._ It was easy from that point on. It was easy to stand in the bathroom, dripping with water and blood as her father slammed the whip below her hips over and over again. It was easy to tolerate the pain. It was easy to watch him throw down his weapon, and stumble into his bedroom, distraught and angry. It was easy to wait. It was easy to walk down the hall, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. The chill of the water droplets had mixed with her warm blood, covering her legs in a beautiful crimson. It was easy to ignore the burning pain between her legs with every step. It was easy to pull out a knife from the kitchen drawer. It was easy to sneak into her father's room and make the first cut. She washed away her shame, her guilt, and her sins in his blood. It was dizzying. His screams eventually stopped, but she still clutched the knife to her chest as she made her way back to her room. _Levi…._ She just needed to see him. She was losing blood quickly. The sudden increase in her heart rate and activity didn't help her gushing wounds. She had bent down next to her bed to retrieve a bag. Her head spun, and she had collapsed. _Levi…._ If she could just see him, it would be okay. And now she stood here, unashamed of her threats. They were no longer manipulations. It was no longer deceit. She meant every word. Her life wasn't worth living without her new family. They didn't treat her like an object. They didn't see her as less than human. They gave her freedom. Without them, she was just a bag of pus and blood, and she would throw that away in an instant. It was no bluff. That realization was more powerful and terrifying for Erwin and Darius than any lie she could have told.

"The Survey Corps is in need of non-combat medics." Erwin finally replied.

"I'm glad we could reach an agreement. I'll meet you downstairs."

* * *

Miria hesitantly opened the door and stepped into the dark room. It was dingy, with a small window that allowed a few rays of sunlight in. She ran her finger across the dust on the desk and laughed. _The most luxurious dorm the Survey Corps have to offer…thanks, Hange._ She eyed the bunk bed with suspicion. It hardly looked comfortable. Her bed in the Underground was more luxurious.

"Miria!" She turned just fast enough to see Isabel tackling her to the ground. She winced at the pain in her thighs, but smiled. "What are you doing here?!"

"I enlisted." Miria responded, holding up her uniform. "I start today."

"So, that's why they moved me to this room! I was in a barrack with like…ten other women. They're all so weird! Did you ask them to move me here?"

"Yea, I figured you'd like a little bit of privacy from time to time."

"Wow! Nobles can ask for anything, huh?" Miria laughed and stood up. She laid out her clothes and began stripping. "But why would you want to enlist and stay here when you could stay in your mansion? That seems—" Isabel's voice caught in her throat when she noticed the gouged flesh on Miria's thighs. "W-what…." Miria looked down at the pink lesions. The scabs had mostly fallen off, but left it looking deformed and tender. She couldn't wait for them to heal fully and lighten over the next month. "What happened?" She could barely hear the whisper.

"Yea…I guess my luck ran out." Isabel stood there, unmoving and staring at Miria's thighs even after she had dressed. "C'mon, let's go see Furlan and Levi. I'm sure they're worried."

* * *

"That blond jackass…I'll fucking kill him" Levi snarled, getting up from his sitting position on the bottom bunk.

"See, this is exactly why I don't tell you things." Miria retorted, pushing him back down. "What's done is done. Let's just move on with the plan."

"How can you say that?! If he hadn't left you, you wouldn't have been maimed like that!" Isabel yelled. Miria rubbed her temples, trying to get rid of the pounding headache they were giving her.

"Be quiet. Idiots should be seen, not heard." Furlan replied, placing his hand on Isabel's forehead and pushing her face away from Miria. She was grateful for him. He always knew when to stop pushing at a subject.

"Just…walk me through what we're doing. You're all in Erwin's squad?" Miria asked.

"No! Because Furlan's the real idiot!" Isabel exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips and sticking her tongue out at him.

"What's eighteen plus twenty-two?" Furlan asked Isabel with a glare. She held up her hands, slowly counting.

"Um…take eight plus two…carry the…."

"Forty, idiot." Levi chimed in. Furlan smirked and Levi glared at him. "You're just as dumb. Your whole plan hinged on us joining blondie's squad."

"At least give me a **small** margin of error." Furlan defended. "As long as we find the documents before the expedition outside the walls, we'll be fine."

"Furlan…I'll go along with your plan, but **I will kill him**." Miria flinched at Levi's words. She shouldn't have shown them her scars. It was stupid. She should have just hidden it. Thoughts of Nikola suddenly flooded back to her and she dug her fingernails into her arm to force them away. Hiding her interaction hand't done her any good then…but maybe this time it would have been different.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:** Chapter 18! I feel like these are getting longer, and I'm not sure how good or bad that is. I'm working on refining chapter 19 right now, so that should be up fairly soon.

Thanks again to ClosetCase for the reviews! They're super helpful! I actually rewrote a few sections based on your questions! Enjoy~ (hopefully, fingers crossed).

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

* * *

Miria quietly tip toed down the hallway. These damn military barrack floors were so creaky. It was probably by design—to catch people like her. She carefully tested each step and finally made it outside.

"Took you long enough." Levi whispered.

"Sorry!" He handed her Furlan's ODM gear and she quickly adjusted the straps and put it on. Levi watched her slow down as she tightened the straps on her thighs and flinched.

"Are you sure you're okay to train with ODM? It's only been three weeks."

"O, yea. I've been doing therapy and check ups with Hange. It's just a little tender, but the skin probably won't tear at this point." Miria took turns on each leg demonstrating her near full mobility and flexibility. "See? I'm fine."

"Tch. You're still stupid for enlisting." Levi said as they made their way deep into the surrounding woods. She forced a smile. "You better hope we find those documents before the expedition.

"Yup." Her voice cracked. It was so hard for her to lie to Levi. She hadn't told him that they had brought her on as a non-combat medic, but as the expedition neared and the search for the documents came up dry over and over again, an anxiety grew within her. She didn't want to be left behind. It was selfish, but she would rather risk death by titan than wait in her barracks for news of their survival. "Thanks again for doing this. I know it's a pain, but I feel like I learn better from you rather than the squad leader." She let out a nervous laugh. It was a pathetic. He would know she was lying and he would bust her.

"When is your gear going to be fixed?" Levi asked.

"Um…who knows I scuffed it up pretty bad."

"Isn't it extra hard steel? How badly can you even damage material like that?" Miria shrugged letting out another weak laugh.

"You know me…when I get clumsy, I break…everything." She scrunched her face up at how terrible her lies sounded. He would figure it out. It was only a matter of time.

"…okay, weirdo. You feeling okay?"

"Just…yup. Yea, I'm fine! Let's train." Miria replied, stopping in a clearing. Her voice broke from lows to highs. Why was it so hard to lie to him? Why did it make her so nervous? Lying to everyone else was so easy. It flowed off her tongue like spun gold. With Levi…well, she wouldn't be able to justify her bullshit even if they were standing in a barn.

"Alright, just remember to hold the blades in the most comfortable way for you. You've already advanced significantly with both knife fighting and hand-to-hand combat. Your ODM skills are probably higher than most of the people here. You just have to combine it."

"Got it." Miria pulled out the blades, holding them how Levi had taught her to hold knives—one overhand and one underhand. "Ready when you are."

"Let's go." They flew through the trees and she followed his lead, trying to replicate and compliment his movements. As he moved high, she moved below him. When his line began to give and his body dropped, she accelerated, pulling herself up higher. She watched his attacks against the trees and replicated them perfectly, down to the rotations. Her cuts weren't anywhere near as deep as his, and her speed lagged just slightly behind, but she matched his accuracy and his agility. They trained like that every day-sneaking out at night and practicing their movements. Eventually, Miria could anticipate Levi's moves based on subtle changes: where he looked, how he rotated his hips, which hand he raised first. It was exciting, like forming a bond without ever speaking a word to each other. One short month later, Miria had been transformed into a full-fledged soldier with Levi's help. Her previous training with him in the Underground had helped considerably, but she saw a physical difference in herself now. She had spent so long admiring Hange's muscular and strong physique. It was empowering to see it in herself now. She walked with far more confidence. Hell, she even picked up on Levi's cocky nature. She was no longer a scared little girl from Mitras. She was a warrior, and for once, Miria felt her mother would have been proud.

* * *

Hange leaned close to inspect the stitches that Miria had given one of the recruits.

"Excellent work!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together in glee.

"Excellent work like pat on the back, or excellent work like you'll finally let me have a horse?" Miria pushed.

"Um…can I go?" the recruit asked, still laying on the table.

"Shush. Mommy and daddy are talking." Miria quickly replied, covering his face with her hand and keeping her eyes glued to Hange. "C'mon, Hange." Hange thought for a second.

"It's not really up to me. Erwin's been managing strategy and operations, which includes horses. I can put in a good word with him." Miria threw her head back and groaned. She stared up at the ceiling and slowly moved her eyes to the terrified recruit on her table. She smiled at him.

"A good word would be more compelling coming from a patient, don't you think?"

"Yea, definitely more so than a friend." Hange admitted. Miria narrowed her eyes on the boy, her smile widening. She moved her hand away from his mouth.

"You're going to go to Erwin's office and put in that good word right now, right?" There was a slight pause. "Because otherwise I'm going to stitch the rest of your openings closed." He nodded quickly. "If Erwin asks what I did for you today, what are you going to say?"

"You…uh…gave me two stitches?" he replied carefully.

"Wrong!" Miria grabbed his cheeks in her hand, squishing them until his lips puckered. "I saved you from gangrene. I need a horse to be more mobile so I can easily access all my Survey Corps patients across the different bases."

"O-okay…."

"Repeat it back to me."

"Y-You s-saved me from…g-gangrene."

"And?"

"A-and you need a horse…t-to be more mobile…"

"…so I can easily access all my Survey Corps patients across the different bases." Miria finished for him. He repeated it back to her through stuttering and chattering teeth. "Good boy." Miria softly slapped his cheek. "Run along." The girls watched him scurry out of the room and snickered.

"Gangrene? That cut was barely bigger than my finger nail." Hange remarked.

"Hey, I wiped him down with antiseptics before I stitched it up. There could've been bacteria."

"Bacteria that would have spread so quickly and viciously that it would cost him a limb?"

"You can't prove that's **not** what would have happened."

"True." Hange laughed. "Alright, I'm off to dinner. Are you okay to clean up here by yourself?"

"O yea, go ahead." Miria replied, packing up the supplies. She sterilized each instrument carefully, grateful to reach to the last scalpel. She jumped when she heard someone clear their throat behind her and turned to see Erwin with a stern look on his face. Her eyes quickly moved to the terrified recruit behind him.

"Thank you, I can take it from here." Erwin whispered to the cowering boy.

"Please don't let her hurt me…." he whispered before taking off. Miria scoffed at the accusation.

"I wasn't going to hurt him." she defended.

"Miria, you can't threaten recruits."

"Sure, I can! It's really fun. Wanna try it? O wait, you already did. That's how you got your latest round of suckers." Miria suddenly noticed she was flailing the scalpel around in a rather aggressive way. She quickly dropped it onto the table and crossed her arms, locking her hip into place and meeting Erwin's gaze.

"Is this seriously over a horse?"

"Well, I wouldn't call you a horse, but you **do** have an awfully long face right now." She cringed at her own joke. She had been spending **way** too much time with Furlan.

"We can't spare a horse for a non-combat medic."

"Then don't!" she snapped and turned away from him. She picked up an already clean pan to clean it again—anything to keep her hands busy and signal to him that their conversation was over. She heard Erwin exhale loudly.

"Alright. C'mon."

"What?" she asked, continuing to rub the same spot over and over again.

"Just pick out a horse before I change my mind."

"Fine, but not because you told me to." Miria replied, tossing down the pan and crossing her arms as she walked out of the room with Erwin in tow. It was silly. She wasn't sure why she had to fight him on everything that he said and did. If Erwin had claimed that the sky was blue, she would have claimed it was red. If he said it was day, she would have insisted it was night. It was like she was struggling for a reason to be upset with him. She wanted to blame him for what happened, but some part of her kept her from committing to that. So, instead, she just found other things to blame him for. It was strange that he never called her out on her clear insubordination. As a non-combat medic, she was under his operations jurisdiction, but she never checked in with him about anything that she was doing. Instead, she aligned herself with Hange and worked with her on medical and research advancements. They made their way into the stables and Miria immediately tuned Erwin out. He said something about one of the horses, and she repeated the words 'I don't care,' over and over again in her head as she scanned the animals. She looked over to one corner where she heard distressed snorts and grunts. She followed the noise and smiled at the culprit. A large, beautiful white horse with just a touch of black on his nose. "Hey there…." she whispered, slowly approaching him. He snorted and backed up until he hit the end of his enclosure. This also seemed to cause him stress as he restlessly beat his hooves against the ground. "You poor thing…."

"That horse isn't tamed yet. I would pick a different one unless you want to be bucked off." Erwin said, appearing behind her. Miria felt a kinship to this animal. They were both trapped by circumstances out of their control. Both of their responses was to buck the system. She smiled and opened his gate, letting him loose. The horse quickly galloped out of the stables, and Miria followed him, giggling. He turned and ran the other way when he almost knocked over a recruit carrying buckets.

"Squad Leader Erwin! He's out again!" they yelled, trying to catch him, but he was too quick.

"Let him be." Erwin replied, holding up his hand to the recruits. They reluctantly followed his order, picking up their dropped belongings and continuing with their chores. "So, what's your plan?"

"My plan?" Miria picked up an apple and jumped up onto the fence. "Sit and watch." Erwin leaned against the fence with her and watched the horse run free. She couldn't stop smiling. He must have missed the freedom. When he finally slowed to a trot, Miria held out the apple. It caught his attention immediately, and he walked over, gently taking it from her hand. "He wasn't a bad horse. He just didn't like being cooped up in there." Miria looked at Erwin and immediately felt uncomfortable with how he was smiling at her. "What?"

"Nothing." He watched her stroke the horse's face lovingly. "Even still, he's a large horse. He'd be large for me. I can't imagine you on him." Miria didn't respond, completely captivated by this animal. "I had actually planned to break him when I had some free time. I was going to use him as my horse." Miria frowned at Erwin.

"Break him?"

"Uh…yea."

"Maybe instead of trying to break him, you should have learned what he needed!" She jumped off the fence, no longer wanting to share the same space as him. "But I guess that's your modus operandi, right? You just lay claim to individuals without ever thinking about what they might need or want!" She grabbed a saddle and reigns, ignoring Erwin's pained look. _Maybe that was too cruel._ She quickly dismissed the thought. It was warranted. He left without another word, and Miria suddenly felt guilty and incredibly lonely. She felt a soft nudge against her face, bringing her out of her thoughts. She smiled at the horse. His hair was white as snow. "Snow…that's a pretty good name for you, huh?"

"Talking to animals is the first sign of losing your mind." Miria jumped at the sudden intrusion of her private moment.

"You need to stop sneaking up on people." She turned toward Levi and smiled. "Seriously, otherwise I'm going to get you a bell."

"Tch." He began leading his horse back to the stables, but Snow showed some interest, pulling at the mare's hair.

"Aww…Snow has a crush!" Miria exclaimed. Levi smacked Snow's nose.

"Keep your horse away from mine."

"Are you just upset that they're…horsing around?"

"Stay away from Furlan, too."

"C'mon. Just let her out to play for a little while. I need to take Snow out and practice riding. He might take to me a little better if he gets to run around for a while prior."

"Fine." Levi sighed, removing his horse's reigns and saddle. She followed Snow into the open field. They galloped around together. It was sweet. Miria looked over at Levi, who also watched them, albeit with a bored look on his face.

"What did you name your horse?" Miria asked.

"Horse."

"That's silly."

"No point in getting attached. We're getting out of here as soon as we find those documents." He reached for the reigns and Miria nudged him with her shoulder.

"Go get dinner. I'll put up the horses."

"Have you eaten yet?" Miria held up an apple and smiled. "That's not dinner."

"I'm not that hungry. I just want to enjoy the dusk a little longer."

"Alright." She watched Levi disappear behind a building and turned her attention back to the horses. She grabbed the reigns and slowly put them on Levi's horse.

"You're such a pretty thing. You deserve a name better than horse. Don't worry, I'll convince him." she whispered, stroking the black mare's snout. She led her into the stables and returned to Snow, who happily grazed on the grass. "Alright, Snow." She saddled the massive beast. "Show me what you can do!"

* * *

Miria returned from the stables and smiled at the man leaning up against the tree outside of the barracks.

"Hey, what're you doing here?" she asked, noticing his hands hidden behind his back. Furlan smiled and revealed two donuts. She gasped, letting out a small laugh.

"They're your favorite, right? There were some set out for the officers, so I snatched two for us." Miria happily took a donut.

"I can't believe you remember that. I told you so long ago!" They sat under the tree and enjoyed their dessert.

"Not that long ago. It was right around the time you told me sheep were your favorite animal."

"You remember that, too?"

"How can I not? That's so weird." They shared a laugh.

"I love you, Furlan."

"I love you, too." He put his arm around her and pulled her in closer to his embrace.

"Hey, do you ever think about dying?"

"That took a dark turn." Furlan said, removing his arm. Miria laughed and grabbed it, placing it back around her.

"No, I mean like…what would you want to be done with your body if you died?"

"Are you planning on assassinating me? Should I be looking for insurance documents instead?" Miria met his gaze and bit her lip, a serious expression falling over her face.

"It just…it seems like we'll have to go on the expedition. We should talk about it, you know? In case something happens to one of us."

"Well…if something happens to one of us outside the walls, wouldn't we be in a titan's stomach?"

"You better not leave me in a titan's stomach." Miria scolded playfully.

"Alright, alright. So, I'll pull you out of the titan's stomach, then what?"

"Well…." She tapped her chin in thought. "If my face still looks cute, I want a proper open casket burial."

"Obviously. In the rare event that the titan grabs you by the face?"

"Then cremate me."

"We could put you into the casket face first. You still have a cute butt." Miria elbowed him and laughed.

"What about you?"

"O, definitely face first casket burial for me. My butt is my best feature."

"I can attest to that."

"Pretty sure you're not allowed to speak to your coworker like that." Furlan accused, wagging a finger at her.

"I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to throw pebbles at my window to have me meet you outside when you're in the mood, but I definitely recall that happening last week." Furlan frowned, but nodded his head in agreement.

"Alright, I won't report your sexual harassment in the workplace if you don't report mine." He held out his pinky.

"Deal." Miria laughed, hooking it with hers and sealing the sacred covenant. "But seriously, why won't you tell me what you want done to you after you die?"

"I don't know." Furlan shrugged. "Do what makes the most sense. I'll be dead. It won't bother me one way or the other."

"…can I have you stuffed? Like by a taxidermist?"

"No, you definitely don't have my permission to do that." Furlan laughed. "What about you?"

"The same, I guess. Whatever makes the most sense."

"Really?" Furlan asked, raising his brow in surprise.

"Yea…why do you seem so shocked?"

"You don't want to be buried in an extravagant dress and set afloat into a lake on an intricately carved boat filled with roses?" Miria rolled her eyes at his mocking tone.

"No, my only request is that you spend the rest of your life screaming 'it should've been me falling down those stairs!'" Furlan laughed loudly.

"Wait, wait, so in your hypothetical death, you died…falling down the stairs? All of the dangerous things the world, all of the cool ways to die, and a flight of stairs took you out?"

"Stairs are dangerous!" Miria defended. "Statistically speaking, your chances of dying in a stair-related accident are ten times higher than dying in a titan-related accident. I'm just thinking about what's more likely."

"Well, who can argue with data?" Furlan admitted. She laughed and rested her head on his shoulder as he stroked her arm. "We'll get out of here soon."

"I know." Miria took his other hand in hers and ran her fingers along the lines of his palm. "I can't wait until this is all behind us. We can just live a normal life, away from criminals, titans, soldiers…all of it." Furlan kissed the top of her head. "What would we do?"

"I think you'd be the greatest doctor that ever lived." Furlan said with a smile. "No pressure." She laughed.

"And you?"

"Blacksmith."

"Shut up."

"I'm serious."

"Really? Blacksmith?"

"Yea, why not?"

"I just didn't expect it. I expected…." She thought about it for a minute and laughed. "Actually, I don't know what I expected. Definitely not blacksmith. That's respectable."

"Yea?"

"Yea." Miria replied, changing her position so she was straddling Furlan. She kissed him as he moved his hands down her back and to her butt, pulling her in closer. "Actually, it's kind of sexy." Furlan smiled at her with eyes half open when she pulled away. She loved the way he looked at her—like there was no one else in the world besides them. His eyes suddenly widened.

"Uh oh. Busted." Furlan whispered, motioning behind Miria. She turned and sighed. Feeling like they were alone in the world was nice while it lasted. They stood up and straightened out for Flagon and Erwin.

"Get to your rooms. It's past curfew." Flagon said with a scowl. "We have pre-expedition evaluations tomorrow morning."

"You're right. Sorry, sir!" Furlan laughed, draping his arm around Miria. "C'mon Miria, let's go to bed." Miria snickered when Flagon grabbed Furlan by the ear.

"Wrong way, idiot. The men's barracks are on the other side." _Nice try, Furlan._

"Ow! Ow!" Miria caught a quick glimpse of Erwin's face as she climbed the small flight of stairs leading to the women's barracks. He looked crushed. She wasn't quite sure if it had been from her previous outburst or from seeing her with Furlan. Neither could have been easy for him. She shook away the feeling and slipped into her bedroom. She would worry about it tomorrow.

"Hey, Isabel, are you up?" she whispered to the lump on the top bunk.

"Mm...mph…." Isabel replied.

"Okay, sorry." Miria whispered back, rubbing the tired girl's head and sinking back down to her bunk. Tomorrow would be an interesting day.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note:** O LOOK! ANOTHER UPDATE! I swear I might be the DJ Khaled of fanfic updates. _Another one!_ Ahh! I've been dying to get to the expedition. 19 chapters in I thought I would be way past it, but we're just now getting to it. Not quite, though. Maybe the next chapter.

Guest - Thank you so much for your reviews! It's so funny that you literally posted it like 15 minutes ago and I was just finishing up the last bit of chapter 19. Just call me Genie because...well I guess Genie from Aladin was just a genie...so, yes. Call me that.

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

* * *

"Hange!" Miria sang playfully as she ran up to the woman, hooking her arm with Hange's as they walked.

"Every time you say my name like that it worries me." Hange said with a nervous chuckle. "What military code do you need me to break?" Miria opened her mouth to object but sucked in her lips and giggled.

"It's not even really a military code."

"What is it?"

"Can you get me ODM gear?"

"Ha! You wish!" Hange yelled out. "Commander Shadis would have my head if I distributed unauthorized gear."

"But what if I told you it was for science?" Hange stopped in her tracks and grabbed Miria's hands, looking her dead in the eyes.

"Is it really for science or are you just toying with my heart?"

"It's definitely at least for statistics and I'm definitely testing two hypotheses." Miria replied.

"What are the hypotheses?"

"Well, one is a test of limits in regards to exactly how many different ways I can be insubordinate without getting into too much trouble. The other…you'll have to find out. Besides, Commander Shadis won't know. Just say I snuck into the supply room and got the gear myself." Hange thought for a moment but finally sighed and nodded her head.

"Alright, stand by the window. I'll toss some out to you."

"You're an angel!" Miria grabbed Hange's face and planted a kiss on her lips.

"Uh…I…." The two girls rushed to the supply room. Miria patiently waited outside of the building, staring straight up at the window. She skillfully caught the gear that was tossed down to her, and gave Hange a thumbs up when she stuck her head out to check. "So, what's your plan?" Hange asked, joining her down below. Miria giggled at the idea that she always had a solid plan. It seemed to have become something of a theme. The truth was, she was winging it half the time. She checked her gear and tightened the straps.

"I'm going to stroll into that pre-expedition evaluation and convince Commander Shadis and Erwin to take me outside the walls."

"That seems like a bad plan." Hange cautioned. "They're not really moved by flowery words or determined speeches. They like results."

"O, I plan to give them results." Miria made her way to the field and watched as recruits and squad leaders stretched in preparation for the commander. Despite being at the Survey Corps headquarters for just shy of two months, she had not seen Keith since her first day. He had apologized to her for not coming to see her more often since the passing of her mother. She had told him it was understandable. He was a busy man. And just like that, he had disappeared into his work again with no hint of re-emerging until evaluations had to be done. Miria watched Keith and Erwin approach from the distance and walked out to meet them. Erwin's eyes narrowed the second he saw her fully equipped with ODM gear.

"No, absolutely not. You're strictly non-combat." Erwin said, without giving her the chance to even speak. "Remove your gear immediately." Miria turned her attention to Keith.

"Commander, I'm not asking for training wheels. I'm just asking for the opportunity to be evaluated just like everyone else." Keith stared down as he towered over her, seemingly considering her proposal.

"As Erwin said, you're strictly non-combat." Keith replied. "Return the ODM gear to Erwin, and we'll deal with your insubordination after the expedition."

"Well…." Miria let out a small laugh. "Since I'm already insubordinate, I might as well follow through." She turned away from the two men and entered the center of the training field, drawing her blades and holding one up. "Anyone here who thinks they're tough enough to take me on, step up!" There was a short silence, followed by a few snickers. A few recruits stepped up.

"Um…what're you doing?" Furlan asked, stepping close to Miria. Levi and Isabel joined him.

"C'mon! Just five people? No one else is that confident in their abilities?" Miria egged on, ignoring Furlan's question.

"Listen, non-combat medic. Why don't you scurry back to your office and leave the fighting to the real soldiers?" one recruit mocked.

"Non-combat medic?" Levi hissed. Miria could tell he was absolutely livid, but she didn't have time to deal with that right now.

"If you think you're so tough then step up!" Miria yelled. "I don't want you assholes using nonparticipation as a defense when I wipe the floor with each and every one of you!" A few more laughed and stepped forward. _Twenty-five._ Not great, but good enough to make her point. She glanced over at the titan structures already set up for training. "First one to cut down all fifteen titans wins." Miria smirked. "I'll even give you gentlemen a head start. The twenty-five challengers, recruits and even one or two squad leaders laughed, lazily pulling themselves up into the trees.

"This is a bad idea." Furlan whispered.

"I know what I'm doing." Miria replied, watching them cut down one titan.

"O, I'm sure you do. I'm saying it's still a bad idea." Furlan clarified. _Three…two…one…._ Miria took off, recklessly charging into the fray without any regard for surrounding soldiers. She channeled her training with Levi, letting her body act on instinct. She was fast. Faster than rest who had to watch out for her spinning blades and get out of the way or risk losing a limb. She dulled her blades on the seventh titan, but managed to change them fairly easily during her midair acrobatics as she approached the eighth. She looked back out of curiosity, smirking when she noticed that her challengers were struggling to keep up with her. Only on the fifth titan, they all already looked so exhausted, but Miria hadn't even broken a sweat.

"Twelve!" she breathed out, landing a blow against the training pad. She sped through the next three and made her way back, laughing as she landed on a branch. Her good mood grew when she noticed Erwin and Keith on adjacent trees, staring at her. "There. I beat twenty-five of your soldiers, and I'm willing to bet I could beat a lot more. If you want to leave me behind, then leave them behind, too!" she yelled.

"My office after the evaluations." Keith said plainly before taking off into the air. Miria looked over at Erwin who remained stone faced. They engaged in a brief staring contest before Erwin took off as well. Miria crossed her arms and blew her growing bangs out of her eyes, no longer interested in which of her challengers would come in second. They were all terrible in comparison to her. She made her way back to the training field and walked over to Levi and Furlan as they watched Isabel complete her evaluation.

"I'm sorry I lied." she whispered as the men refused to even look at her.

"Tch." Levi stood and stormed off.

"Why are you so eager to throw your life away every chance that you get?" Furlan finally asked, keeping his eyes fixed on Isabel as she maneuvered through the air.

"I wasn't…."

"You came to the Underground looking for a dangerous gang leader, you nearly got yourself killed to blackmail Erwin, you basically threatened suicide to join the Survey Corps, you lied to us to move from a non-combat to a combat position, and now you're going to go outside the walls?" Furlan frowned and Miria's eyes filled with tears. "For once…I just want you to think about your own well being." She wasn't quite sure what to say. It was a damning record. Furlan instantly softened when he saw her face. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. She curled into him like a child. "I meant it when I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I can't do that if you're willing to throw yours away at a moment's notice. Don't be such a suicidal blockhead. I want you to survive no matter what."

"I'm so sorry, Furlan." She let his words sink in.

* * *

Miria looked down at her hands as she sat in a chair in front of Keith and Erwin. They gave her a speech on the dangers of the world outside the wall, the makings of a proper soldier, and the importance of subordination. They scolded her inability to work in a team and her lack of experience with the other strategic aspects of an expedition which made her nonviable as a soldier, and thus, they would not be taking her with them.

"Last time I checked, there were plenty of insubordinate loners with no strategic experience going." Miria mumbled.

"It's not just that." Keith admitted.

"Commander…." Miria cut him off. "Did you complete my evaluation?"

"Hm? Yes." he admitted.

"The metrics for ODM combat are strength, speed, agility, and endurance, right?"

"Yes."

"Cumulatively, who scored higher than me?" Keith glanced down at the papers on his desk and stiffened. He leaned back in his chair. Miria kept her eyes low.

"The rankings of the top five soldiers in order were: Levi, Mike, Erwin, Furlan, and…you."

"I see."

"But just as there was a disparity between you and the runner up for your little challenge, there is a large disparity of skill between you and Furlan." Erwin explained.

"So, you still plan to leave me behind for reasons that could extend to multiple other soldiers in the Survey Corps, even though I'm ranked fifth in skill, and can provide field medical treatment?"

"Your mother would object to putting you in such a dangerous situation." Keith said. Miria stood and met Keith's eyes for the first time in their meeting.

"Please don't use my mother as an excuse for your own sexism and cowardice. She would object to that far more than any dangerous situation I could be put in. Excuse me." Miria turned and left, slamming the door shut behind her. Her head hurt. She leaned against the wall of the hallway for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. _Don't be such a suicidal blockhead._

* * *

Keith held his pounding head as he stared down at the papers in front of him. _Miria Antoun – Cumulative Ranking: No. 5; Strength Ranking: No. 12; Speed Ranking: No. 5; Agility Ranking: No. 2; Endurance Ranking: No. 7; Other Skills: Medic. Is this what you wanted for your daughter, Flora?_

"She's right." he finally mumbled. "Flora would crucify me if she heard that exchange." He let out a slight laugh at the memory of his old friend.

* * *

 _Year 833:_

* * *

 _"Excuse me." Keith snapped out of his thoughts and looked up. The young woman in front of him smiled. "You're in the Survey Corps, right?" He raised an eyebrow. She didn't look like she belonged in Shiganshina. She wore a long, elegant silk dress, expensive jewelry, makeup, and…perfume. That's what he smelled. It was sweet. He finished tucking in the corner of the emergency ward cot and stood up straight, towering over her. He heard a small gasp, and suddenly noticed the presence of a tiny girl behind the woman. They looked near identical._ A daughter? _She clung to her mother's leg tightly as she eyed him._

 _"Yes. I'm Squad Leader Keith Shadis." he replied. The woman's gentle smile never left. She held out her tiny hand for him to take._

 _"It's a pleasure to meet you, Squad Leader Keith. My name is Flora Antoun. Dr. Yeager has told me so much about you. Do you have a few moments to speak with me?" Keith smiled and took her hand, shaking it._

 _"Sure, it's not often I have the company of beautiful women." he joked. Flora laughed._

 _"O! This is my daughter, Miria." Keith placed his large hand on the awestruck girl's head._

 _"It's nice to meet you, Miss Miria." He led them to a restaurant and they talked for what seemed like hours. Flora pulled notebook after notebook out of her bag, showing him her research on biology and chemistry, explaining her models of titan physiology and what tests could be run to test her hypotheses. Most of it went completely over his head._

 _"It's all very exciting, isn't it?" Flora asked._

 _"Um…yes." Keith lied. "But what does this have to do with me?"_

 _"Well, I'd really like to provide extra funding for the Survey Corps so they can conduct titan research. If we can begin to study them more, maybe we can understand how to properly combat this threat against humanity." she explained._

 _"You cut their nape." Keith tapped the back of his neck. "That's how you kill them." Flora laughed._

 _"Is that really where your curiosity ends, Squad Leader Keith? Wouldn't you rather break open this mystery and free humanity from the confines of these walls? It's beginning to get hard to breathe, wouldn't you agree?"_ Hard to breathe…. _Keith thought of Carla and Grisha. It **was** hard to breathe around them. He looked forward to the next expedition. There was no chance of running into them beyond the walls. The world was too big._

 _"Yes. I wish I could help, but truth be told, our current commander is not keen on change. You've convinced me, but there's nothing that'll get through to him." Flora's smile fell._

 _"O…well, thank you for listening to my proposal." She scribbled down her address on a piece of paper and handed it to him. "Please let me know if anything changes."_

. ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ .

 _"I thought I'd find you here." Flora said with a faint smile. She took a seat across from Keith and propped her elbows up on his desk, cupping her face as she watched him furiously filling out paperwork. The pages wrinkled under his coarse touch, and when the pen ran out of ink, he shook it a few times and finally threw it across the room. Flora watched it bounce off a bookshelf and noisily clatter onto the floor. She turned back to Keith, who was leaning back in his chair and glaring. "What did that bookshelf ever do to you?"_

 _"What do you want?" he snapped._

 _"I just wanted to formally congratulate you on your new title, commander. We never got a chance to speak at your inauguration." Keith crossed his arms and looked away, hoping his silent treatment would persuade her to leave. "You've been so busy since then, I haven't been able to pin you down for a second." No such luck. He opened a drawer and began to dig around for another pen, trying anything to distract himself. "It was a beautiful wedding." He slammed the drawer shut when his search held no positive results. Why did she always have to do this? Why couldn't she just let him wallow in misery for a while. "Did you love her?" He knew it. He looked up at Flora with every intention of glaring and screaming at her, but softened when he saw the concern in her eyes. She stood and walked over to him, sitting on his armrest and pulling his head to her chest. She kissed the top of his head as he relaxed in her embrace. His anger subsided and tears began to spill out. "I know." she cooed. "Love is a cruel thing, isn't it?" He nodded, going from a vow of silence to an inability to form words. She ran her fingers through his hair, comforting him for hours._

* * *

"Sir?" Erwin said, noticing Keith's smile.

"She was relentless." he finally spoke up. "She came down to my office every single day until I agreed to use her money to finance titan research."

"Yes, I remember her storming in on quite a few of our meetings." Erwin admitted with a small chuckle. "What finally convinced you?"

"She said she would enlist and study the titans herself if she had to." Keith scoffed.

"Like mother like daughter."

"She was close to your father, too, wasn't she, Erwin?"

"Yes, sir." Keith sighed and stood from his chair. He walked out to the hallway and saw Miria leaning up against the wall.

"Be ready to leave at dawn, soldier." He held back his smile when he saw the disappointed look on her face turn to shock and eventually glee.

"Thank you, commander!" Erwin stepped out into the hallway as well, and Keith turned his eye on him.

"Center back with the wagons." Keith said. "Keep her safe, Erwin."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Miria climbed the stairs to the tower next to the headquarters. She opened the door to the roof and walked out, taking a seat next to Levi.

"I'm really sorry I lied to you. I shouldn't have done that." she said, staring up at the stars with him. He didn't respond. "I just got permission to attend the expedition tomorrow." More silence. Miria turned to looked at Levi. "But I won't go if you say you don't want me to." He met her eyes, surprised by her offer. She smiled at him. "You mean that much to me…that even though it would hurt more than anything that I can imagine to sit in those barracks and wait for your guys to come back…I'll do it if you want me to."

"What does Furlan think about this?" Levi asked.

"I haven't told him, yet. You're the first person I came to." Miria thought she saw a hint of a smile on Levi's lips, but it disappeared so quickly, she wondered if her eyes were playing tricks on her. "Earlier today, Furlan told me to stop being such a suicidal blockhead. Maybe I was in the past. I was reckless before. After my mother died and my father became…" she paused. "…a monster, I just didn't have it in me to go on living. I charged recklessly into the Underground in pursuit of you because even if you killed me, it would have been preferable to living like I was before." She jumped into Levi's arms and hugged him tightly. He instinctively held her. "But after you took me in…I really lived, you know? I really understood the value of life, of experiencing life. Everything that we went through…it may have hurt, but it was so much better than where I was before. I wouldn't change anything. If I were sent back in time, I would make all of the same decisions again and again. I don't have any regrets. None. So, if you want me to stay here tomorrow, I will. I just needed you to know that whatever you're scared of…whatever you think might happen to me out there, it could never be as painful as being away from you, Furlan, and Isabel." Miria buried her face in his neck and tried to hold back her tears. "The two weeks I was away from you three were horrible, not particularly because of anything that happened, but because I felt it again: that apathy for life. The only thing that kept me going was coming back to you. If I thought that wasn't a possibility, I would've ended my life right then and there. It wasn't worth it." Levi tightened his grip on her. "So…I'll stay tomorrow if you want me to…but if you can find it in yourself to trust me, to put faith in the strength that you've given me, I'd really like to stand next to you as a comrade this time…not behind you like a mouse." Miria pulled away to look at Levi and he wiped away her tears.

"Just keep your dumb horse away from mine outside the walls."


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note:** Alright! I'm double posting chapters again because I ran into the same situation where I felt like it didn't belong in one chapter, but it kinda did, so what the hell.

Thanks again to ClosetCase for the reviews! They're super helpful, and don't seem negative at all. I love 'em! I went back and adjusted a few of the glaring errors, and I'll go back in again this weekend and try to refine stuff so it flows a little bit better.

1\. Your analysis of Miria's character is actually spot on, so no, it doesn't sound strange at all, lol! I think the environment you're in ends up shaping a lot of your interactions. Whenever she was with nobles she was introverted and polite because that's the expectation. Whenever she was around Furlan, Isabel, and Levi, she was a lot more extroverted because those same social boundaries and rules don't really apply. I wanted to make sure I conveyed that so when I originally posted chapter 18, I included a few sentences about how her time with the Survey Corps, and more specifically with Levi had built her into a stronger more confident person, and thus "cocky" like Levi.

2\. In regards to the leadership allowing her on the expedition [again, spoilers, I warned you], I don't think that's too far of a stretch even if she's not the ideal soldier. I mean, they let in thugs from the Underground, Erwin had witnessed how ruthless Levi was in his fight prior to capture, Erwin even know Levi was hired to assassinate him by Lovof and still took the risk of bringing him on board. They did the same thing with Eren, and it doesn't get much more out of control than a titan. Throughout the manga, Levi constantly shows his irritation at Mikasa's insubordination, but she's never benched from expeditions (if that makes sense). So, I guess by that extension, I wouldn't really classify her claim of sexism as a throwaway either, or maybe I'll leave that up to reader interpretation, but throughout the story, I've been trying to establish this theme where Miria isn't allowed to or deemed capable enough to make decisions for herself and it's always under the guise of keeping her safe. Her father gives her zero freedom, Petrus doesn't take her seriously as a thinking, acting agent, Nile won't take her Underground without some higher level of permission, Darius just barely agrees to cover for her, she's watching her her marriage be arranged for her, she has to threaten execution to get Darius and Erwin to take her request to join the Survey Corps seriously, her request for an evaluation is completely denied, and she's so jaded about having any level of autonomy that the first place she goes to is lying and manipulation, even with Levi, even though he does end up respecting her wishes. So, I guess to me, it wouldn't seem unreasonable if she assumed this was the same thing that she had been experiencing and those other reasons were just a cop out because they also applied to other soldiers. I may have done a bad job of connecting those events, and if so, let me know and I'll add in a paragraph explaining that.

3\. I went back and edited Keith's memory with Flora to clarify that she's the one talking the whole time because I see where that could get confusing. Hopefully that's a little more clear now.

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

* * *

"Today, humanity takes one more step forward! Show me what you've learned in training! Teach these titans the power of the human race!" Keith stood at the front of the caravan, making his impassioned speech. The gates of the Shiganshina district slowly began to rise. A crowd formed around the Survey Corps, mumbling about their efficacy.

"Hey." Furlan leaned over and nudged Miria. She turned toward him and he pointed to her hands. "If you use all your strength gripping the reigns, you won't have any strength left to cut down titans." Miria looked down at her white knuckles and smiled.

"Sorry, I'm just so excited." she replied.

"I wish I could say the same. Now would be a great time for someone to tell me it's all a prank." Furlan shuddered.

"Where's your sense of adventure?" Miria mocked.

"I think I forgot it Underground." Furlan mumbled.

"All troops advance!" Keith shouted. The party moved forward. It was slow. Hearing stories about the outside world never really interested Miria, but now that she had an opportunity to truly experience it, she shuddered with excitement. She fidgeted anxiously, waiting to pass the gate and take in the full view of this mysterious place that had been obscured behind three walls for her whole life. As the horses galloped past the gate, Miria gasped at vastness of it. Mountain ranges decorated the horizon, forests could be seen in the distance, and the birds soared even more freely. She took a deep breath. The air was even crisper. She giggled at the stunned expressions of Furlan, Isabel, and Levi as they took in the world beyond the walls as well. _Wings of Freedom…I get it._

"Dammit, I never meant to leave the walls. If we could have found the documents we could have grabbed them and snuck away by now. Where's that bastard Erwin hiding them?" Furlan's cold feet began to set in.

"Don't worry. I'll do something about the titans." Levi responded.

"I don't care how good you are! These are titans!" Furlan shot back. Miria and Isabel exchanged a look, rolling their eyes at their bickering.

"Furlan you should be marrying Levi instead of Miria!" Isabel mocked.

"Be quiet, runt!" Furlan exclaimed.

"Stop the chatter!" a veteran soldier, Sairam, yelled out. "The titans aren't as soft as you think! How many elite soldiers do you think have been eaten by titans!? You think a few punks from the Underground have a chance against them!?" Isabel looked at him for a moment and smirked.

"You say that, but if I end up beating the titans, then doesn't that make all them elites **lower** than punks?" she asked. Miria snickered at Sairam's shocked reaction.

"Sairam, stop!" Flagon called out, catching up with the group. He glared at Miria. "You're supposed to be with the center wagons. Go!"

"Commander! Titan spotted!" a soldier yelled out before Miria could react. She turned to the massive monster in the distance. It was horrifying. "Fifteen-meter class in the forest! It's coming this way!"

"There's no choice! Engage!" Keith yelled out. "Vanguard with me! The rest of the force keep advancing to the supply point! Don't let it out of the forest! Switch to ODM!" Miria watched Keith make decisions in split seconds. It was amazing, and something that she would not be capable of doing. She had been so astounded by the sight of a titan that she had completely forgotten her previous order to join the supply wagons.

"Miria! Now!" Flagon yelled to remind her.

"R-right!" She moved to the wagons and heard more panicked commotion behind her. Soldiers began yelling.

"Second titan spotted! Twenty-meter class! Heading this way!"

"Read guard, increase speed and shake it off! Lead it into the forest!"

"It's not following!"

"It's an abnormal! It's headed to the wagons! They're wide open!" Miria tightened her grip on the reigns and turned Snow to face the towering monster running her way.

"Don't let the tians near the wagons!" Flagon yelled. Miria watched the titan grab soldier after soldier, crushing them in its hands and chomping them in half. She watched the titan's motions carefully. _Observe. Adapt. React._ The titan began running again.

"Hyah!" She pulled on Snow's reigns and took off after the titan at full speed. She drowned out the noise around her, letting her muscles work from memory. Levi, Furlan, and Isabel passed by her, and she watched them carefully. _Levi's going to his back…Furlan and Isabel are going for his knees. Go for the shoulders._ Miria watched Levi cling to the titan's lower back, and engaged her gear once she could predict the titan's arm movements.

"Now! Do it!" Levi screamed. Miria was already close behind him. She landed her blow on its shoulder right as it twisted toward her, allowing her blades to penetrate further into the muscle than she ever could with her strength alone. She performed the same action on the other shoulder, grabbing onto the titan's hair just in time to see Isabel and Furlan cut down its knees. The titan began falling forward and Miria got out of the way when she saw Levi advance on its nape. He cut through it easily and gracefully landed on the ground next to the rest of them.

"…no fucking way." Flagon murmured, approaching the downed titan. Steam began to rise from the monster's body, decaying it.

"O, man! That was so awesome!" Isabel yelled, jumping up and down. "You're the best, Levi!"

"If I knew this shit was going to happen, I would've stayed Underground." Furlan mumbled. Miria pinched his cheek and smiled.

"You did good for a street rat." she mocked.

"Aw, shucks. I guess you were pretty impressive for a mouse." Furlan replied. Miria turned to say something to Levi, but paused when she saw Erwin in the distance smiling at them. _He really does stare at people like he's eyeing a piece of meat…._

* * *

"Oof!" Furlan groaned as he stretched out on his sleeping bag. "Man, I never imagined we could stop a titan that easily." Miria laid out her own bag and examined the ruins of the old castle. It was surprisingly adequate from the inside, despite how disheveled and messy the outside had looked. It was smart for the Survey Corps to utilize these old castles for supply points. She wondered if she could have ever devised such a plan in a leadership position. _Probably not._ She watched Levi run his boot across the dust on the floor and glare.

"It was unexpectedly easy, but if there's just one, that's no problem." Levi replied.

"Haha, so 'Levi the Invincible' does just fine even against titans!" Furlan mocked. Miria giggled at his detested nickname.

"Just like I said, Levi's the strongest! As long as he's with us, we'll make it home alive!" Isabel swooned, stretching out on her own bag. Levi flopped down, ignoring the praise.

"Furlan, do you think he brought the documents with him?"

"Yea, I made sure of it." Furlan said. "I checked everything, at least five times. He has to be carrying those documents on him. If he'd hidden them outside the military, then that old fossil Lovof definitely would have found them."

"Do you think we can trust that old geezer?" Isabel asked. Everyone turned to Miria.

"Hell no." she admitted. "Furlan's plan to blackmail him is way better than handing him the documents and hoping he follows through. Hell, I say we make copies when we get them…for security. Lovof is all about his own financial interest. You have to tie everything you do back to his money. If he can screw you for the slightest bit of gain, he will."

"Listen." Furlan brought everyone close together. "Right now, we just have to find the papers. I saw Erwin and the commander head off together. Before he returns, Isabel and I will search his bags. Levi and Miria, you guard the passage over there until we give the signal. If he comes back before then, stop him."

"Stop him…you mean start a fight?" Levi asked.

"Why is that the first place you go?" Miria hissed.

"Don't draw attention!" Furlan added. Levi rolled his eyes. "And don't kill him, even by 'accident.' If we lose a squad leader outside the walls, we'll be in trouble, too."

"Got it." Miria replied, taking Levi's arm and heading to the passage. They waited for a few minutes and Levi immediately got restless.

"Tch. What's taking them so long?"

"They're being thorough." Miria responded. Their attention was caught by footsteps. Erwin eyed them suspiciously. _Shit…he's back already?_

"What are you two doing here alone? Aren't the others with you?"

"I just needed some time alone." Levi replied. Erwin raised an eyebrow and turned his attention to Miria.

"I just came to check up on him." She quickly explained away her presence.

"I see. So, how are you two adjusting to military life?" Erwin asked.

"Lousy. All anyone ever talks about is the titans with that stifling look on their faces." Levi said.

"Of course. The Survey Corps attracts people like that." Erwin admitted.

"I'm sure with you at the top of that list." Levi retorted.

"Your fight today was brilliant. You and Miria worked together so effortlessly, without even exchanging a word. I'm impressed." Erwin turned to Miria and for the first time she noticed something different in his eyes. He wasn't looking at her the same way as he had before. It wasn't lust or amusement…it was respect. She smiled and shrugged.

"Of course. Levi's been training me for a while now. I can prejudge all of his movements and align mine to compliment them." Miria said with pride.

"Well, I'm sure having a natural team like you two around will make the others feel safer." Miria and Levi exchanged a knowing glance.

"…back then, there was a soldier who fought it first and got eaten." Levi started. "I figured out how to fight that titan because I watched how it moved while it was eating him."

"I was also watching the arm rotations and twisting motions of the upper body based on the other soldiers that it grabbed. If I hadn't seen that, I never would have been able to time my attacks and penetrate its shoulder muscle deep enough to paralyze its arm." Miria admitted.

"I see. As you've realized, the Survey Corps was built upon countless such sacrifices. There are still too many things we don't know about the outside world. But if it means taking back the world for humanity, I'm sure none of those soldiers regret dedicating their hearts to that cause. Not one." Erwin said, walking past them. Miria tried to think of another point of conversation, but she was drawing a blank. Erwin stopped and turned back to her. "O, and Miria." She looked over at him. "You shouldn't wear your hair down outside the walls."

"O…um, I pinned the sides back so—"

"Either cut it or put it up. You're lucky it didn't get caught in the steel wire spools of the main housing of your gear." Erwin explained. Miria's eyes filled with fear.

"Can that really happen?" she asked, holding a lock of her hair lovingly to her chest.

"Of course, it can, idiot." Levi remarked, pulling on another lock of her hair. "Why do you think no one else here has long hair?"

"Okay, I'll put it up." Miria replied with a sad sigh.

"Just cut it." Levi said.

"Are you insane!?" Miria shot back, completely forgetting Erwin's presence as she bickered with Levi. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to grow it out this long?!"

"It's just hair."

"It's not just hair! It's practically a child!"

" **You're** insane."

"I spent so much time and energy taking care of it! Do you think soft, silky hair just happens!? I got news for you, it doesn't!"

"You two bicker like an old married couple." Erwin cut in with a chuckle. The pair paused to stare at the squad leader, unable to form a response before the intrusion of another person.

"Levi! Miria! I finished changing, so you can come back now!" Isabel called, running down the hallway. They quickly joined her, leaving Erwin behind.

"Idiot. What kinda reason is that? It doesn't take anyone that long to change." Levi harshly whispered.

"Hehe, sorry! I panicked!" Isabel replied.

"He's a guy, he doesn't know how long it takes girls to change." Miria assured. "You could probably tell him an hour and he'd still buy it."

"Just because it takes you an hour to change doesn't mean everyone else is like that!" Levi continued their spat.

"It doesn't take me an hour to change! You just exaggerate!" Miria argued. They continued their playful back and forth until Furlan interjected.

"We came up dry." Furlan mumbled. "The only possibility left is that he must be keeping it on him at all times."

"So, in the end, we've got to kill him after all." Levi whispered with a chilling look on his face. Miria went to speak up when she was suddenly interrupted.

"You can say that, but he won't go down easy." Hange said, joining the group. They stared at her with stunned expressions. "Do you have a second? I was watching you at the right moment." Miria noticed Levi reaching for the knife under his bag.

"The right moment?" Levi asked her.

"When you defeated the titan, of course!" Hange exclaimed. "It was **incredible**! I boiled over with excitement in spite of myself! I'm Hange Zoe. You're Levi, aren't you? That girl is Isabel. Of course, I know Miria, and..." Hange turned to Furlan and tapped her chin. "…you…er…."

"I'm Furlan." he grumbled, clearly upset that she didn't know his name.

"Right, right! Furlan! Nice to meet you!" Hange slapped his back hard, not realizing her own strength, and plopped down next to him. "Levi, you didn't go through the Training Corps, did you? So, how did you get so good at using ODM gear?" Levi glared at Hange and Miria glared at him. 'Be nice' Miria mouthed to him. Levi swallowed his distaste for small talk and answered her.

"I practiced. A lot."

"You taught yourself!? It was hard for me to even get my balance with the belts at first! Is there some secret trick to getting to the next level?!" Hange asked.

"Not really."

"Wow! You state it so plainly. Even a small hint would be good though." Hange pointed out the other troops observing them. "See, everyone would like to know. They all saw you fight. You've given them hope that humans don't have to lose to the titans if we fight correctly. It was really outstanding! That's why I insist on knowing."

"We're amazing, right!? You see it, too!?" Isabel gleefully jumped at the recognition. Hange nodded in agreement. "You know, Levi's the strongest! Even in the Underground, he's number one!"

"Is that so? I'd like to hear the secret of that strength." Hange eyed Levi again. "How about it, Levi?" He remained silent.

"He's just strong! That's all there is to it!" Isabel exclaimed. Miria giggled when she saw the calculating look in Hange's eyes.

"O, right. Isabel, as a sign of our new friendship, would you like a treat?" Hange offered the young girl a small bag of cookies. Isabel gladly took them and began stuffing her face, ignoring all else around her. _You always know how to get your way, Hange._ "How about it, Levi? Could I get you to tell me your secret?"

"I do it my own way. It's not something I can teach other people." Levi replied.

"No? But I noticed you and Miria move in almost exactly the same way. You even coordinate your attack to—"

"Sorry, but I'm tired." Levi turned away from her and Hange sighed.

"I see, sorry to disturb your rest." Hange stood, putting one hand on Isabel's head and the other on Furlan's shoulder. "Thank you, too, Isabel and Furlan. Let's have a longer talk later. If you come back alive, I'll treat you to a meal!" She waved and took off.

"What a weirdo." Furlan mumbled.

"Hey, I like her." Miria said, watching Hange walk around and check on the other soldiers. "…she was really sweet to me. She's a really empathetic person."

"Sure." Furlan shrugged and turned to Levi. "What's the big deal about teaching them some simple tricks?"

"I don't want to be responsible for the lives of anyone other than you three." Levi explained.

"Don't be so dramatic." Furlan said with a laugh, laying down on his sleeping bag.

"Hey…Levi?" Isabel chimed in, finishing off the last crumbs of her treat. "I don't really get that stuff about taking back the world for humanity, but…these guys think it's worth dying for, don't they?"

"Don't think on it too hard." Levi replied, patting Isabel's head. "Go to sleep."

"…if we're going to kill Erwin we have to do it before the expedition is over." Miria finally spoke up. They turned their eyes to her and she sighed. "I don't see any other way around it. From everything I've seen so far, deaths outside the wall draw a lot less scrutiny than those inside." Miria thought back to the bodies of the soldiers that the titan tossed down. "I saw the wounds on those soldiers' bodies…when the titan attacked. If you kill Erwin with minimal damage, I can probably replicate those same crushing wounds with a large enough rock." It made her sick. Killing her father had been one thing, that monster deserved it, but was Erwin the same ilk as her father? He was manipulative, sinister, calculating, and cold, but all of those things could be extended to Levi or Furlan—depending on who they were addressing. She was unconvinced that this was the right thing to do, but if it meant staying with her family…. She glanced over at Furlan. If it meant staying with Furlan…she would swallow the guilt and do it.

"When would we kill him?" Furlan asked, turning over to his side. 'With that long-distance scouting formation, we'd be spotted just leaving the ranks. Considering the risk of disrupting the formation, maybe we should give up on stealing the documents while we're outside the walls. From the rear guard, where we'll be, it'd be almost impossible to reach Erwin's location near the very front without being noticed by someone."

"Three people would stand out." Levi agreed. Furlan huffed and turned onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

"We should just focus on getting back alive. I mean, we've already come this far."

"I'm good with that, too." Isabel said, looking up with Furlan. "Of course, the documents are important, but…I don't want to get in their way."

"Those must have been some damn good cookies." Furlan mocked.

"It's not that, **dumbass**!" Isabel yelled.

"Keep your voice down!" Furlan scolded.

"I just…." Isabel relaxed back into her blanket. "I feel like I'm starting to get why these guys come out here. Going outside the walls, it's like how we wanted to get up above out of the Underground. Lots of my friends died dreaming of making it up there one day. Seeing them like that…I felt like I just had to get up there." Isabel flipped over onto her stomach and smiled at Levi. "Hey, when we all get to live in the capital, let's take loads of stuff from them pigs and use it all to buy useless junk!"

"What would you buy?" Miria asked, stroking her hair as she drifted off to sleep.

"I don't know…." she mumbled.

"How about a hat worth as much as a month's supply of food." Miria suggested.

"Yea…." Isabel's voice faded.

"They have hats that expensive?" Furlan asked. Miria nodded, smiling at him. "Good grief. I have to revise the plan. We'll need to steal the documents before Levi and Isabel start talking seriously about dedicating hearts or whatever."

"Hey, what about me?" Miria asked. "Aren't you worried I'll dedicate my heart to the cause?"

"You?" Furlan laughed. "Nah, I can't imagine you'd have the self-control." Miria frowned and picked up an apple from their rations, tossing it at Furlan's head. "Ow! See, this is what I mean!" He rubbed his head.

"Well learn to be kinder!" Miria retorted.

"Coming from the girl who just tried to assassinate me with an apple!?"

"Now whose being dramatic?" Levi asked, smirking at Furlan who turned over onto his side and pouted. Levi put his hand on Miria's head. "Get some sleep, I'll keep watch." She nodded and laid down next to Isabel, who immediately snuggled into her warmth. It was sweet. Despite her skill and temper, she was still very much like a child, needing to be comforted and held. Miria wrapped her arms around her and drifted off to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's Note:** Gah! So close to the main story line!

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

* * *

"Miria!" _Shit! I can't see anything! Who is that?_

"I'm here!" Miria yelled over the storm. She slowed Snow to a trot, unable to keep the rain out her eyes at higher speeds. "Hello!?" No response. "Shit!" She quickened her pace, trying to catch any sign of the wagons. The rain was too hard and the thick fog didn't help matters any. They shouldn't have been too far ahead of her. Snow suddenly stopped and began backing up. Snorting in distress. "O, c'mon." Miria tapped him a few times, nudging him forward. "Don't do this to me now!" Snow took a few steps forward, but immediately turned directions, running off to the right. "No, no!" She pulled his reigns back to the left and he resisted her, continuing on his trajectory. Miria looked back and shuddered. She could just barely make out the silhouette of a titan. "What the hell…." _How did it make it into the center? Is that why I couldn't hear anyone?_ "Snow, you're a life saver…."

"Miria!" She turned at the sound of another voice and noticed someone. She quickly approached them. "What are you doing out of ranks?" Flagon asked.

"I-I got separated. There was—" Miria stopped when she saw two other horses in the distance. Flagon followed her gaze.

"Magnolia! Church! What happened to Levi?" Flagon asked.

"We got separated in the fog!" Furlan explained. He looked calm. Miria thought for a moment. _Did he go off by himself to take down Erwin under the cover of the rain and fog? Why would they let him go alone?!_

"But he had to have heard the sound grenade! …is he dead?" Sairam asked.

"Of course, he isn't! Levi will come back! Bet on it!" Isabel yelled at him, completely disgusted by the idea. Isabel's eyes widened when she noticed a hand appear from the fog, grabbing Sairam.

"Fuck!" Miria screamed, stopping Snow and narrowly avoiding the titan's body collapsing down on her.

"Sairam!" Flagon changed his direction, too.

"Squad leader, stay back! Run while you can!" Tears fell from Sairam's eyes as the titan shoved him into its mouth.

"Two more titans! 7 meter and 10 meter class!" Miria yelled as they appeared from the fog. Snow took off at full speed, dodging their attempted grabs.

"Isabel, Furlan—" Flagon's word were cut short as he was grabbed.

"Leave the others!" Furlan ordered. "We can't take on this many titans! We need to scatter. Ru—" Furlan paused when he saw the titan in front of him, diving for him. His horse reared back, falling to the ground and pinning Furlan's leg under its weight. "Third titan! 15 meters!"

"Furlan!" Isabel and Miria screamed. They headed for him at full speed when the 10 meter titan cut through the fog, landing between Isabel and Miria. Flagon's blood was still visible on its face.

"Keep going!" Miria yelled at Isabel. "I'll take care of this one!" Miria dismounted Snow, letting him run off to safety while she spun around the titan and sliced its nape. She looked over, watching Isabel cut through the shoulder of the 15 meter titan. _She's good._ Her thoughts betrayed her. Miria stood there and watched helplessly as Isabel's foot slipped and she landed hard against the titan's back. "Isabel!" Miria ran to her. _My body is so slow. Why am I so slow? Faster. Please, move faster._ The 7 meter titan stepped over Miria, diving for Isabel and crushing her tiny body between the two beasts. Miria screamed. It was blood curdling. It wasn't human. It sounded like an animal. Her grapples tore through the rain and landed in the wobbly titan's back as it tried to regain balance. She saw its upper body rotating to swat her. _Faster._ She accelerated, avoiding the back of the titan's hand and landing a clean blow to its nape. She grappled onto the second titan, advancing on its nape, but not before the first titan fell back, taking a final swing at her with the other hand. It swatted her out of the air, sending her rolling into the mud. Miria felt her knee dislocate and she cried out in pain. She looked up, seeing the 15 meter titan smiling down at her. _No…please…no. I don't want to die…._ It reached for her and she closed her eyes, bracing herself for the impact. She couldn't run. She couldn't even stand. In the end, her rank meant nothing. She was going to die.

"Crawl!" She heard Furlan scream. She opened her eyes and saw him slice through the titan's fingers. "You can handle that, right?!" She watched him and he repeated himself. " **Crawl**!" She dragged her body as quickly as she could, letting fear override the pain, she turned back to Furlan and her heart dropped. He was furiously pressing against the triggers of his grips. _Broken…they're broken._ He paused for a moment and watched the titan reach toward him with the other hand. He held up his blades, standing his ground. "Come on, you big fucker! Let's go!" _No…run. Run! Furlan!_

"Furlan!" It was Levi's scream. He would make it. He would save him. Miria laid there and watched them move in slow motion. The titan raised Furlan to its mouth, and Furlan smiled down at her. _Levi is coming. Levi will save him._ Her face twisted in horror as the titan tossed Furlan into its mouth right as Levi severed its arm.

"N-no…give him back… **give him back**!" Miria screamed. Levi sliced through its stomach, pulling Furlan out and carrying him to the ground. She crawled to him, clawing at the mud, desperate to feel his pulse. Levi walked away. He turned his attention to the four approaching titans, and Miria drowned it all out. She put a hand on Furlan's chest and whimpered as his intestines spilled out of his severed body. "F-furlan?" She pulled her face to his, running her fingers through his hair and gripping it tightly as she called his name over and over again, waiting for a response. "Please…Furlan, say something." She hugged his torso, the only part of him that remained. Levi stood over her, watching her retreat into denial as the rain and fog dispersed.

"Hey! Are there any survivors out there?" Erwin called out. Miria stiffened at his voice as she heard him give orders. "Find survivors. Leave the dead." _Leave the dead?_ She lifted herself onto her elbows and looked at Furlan's peaceful face, like he was sleeping. "Levi! Miria! Are you the only ones left?" _Leave the dead? Leave the dead?! **Leave the dead?!**_

" **Kill him**!" Miria screeched. "Levi, kill him! Kill him!" Levi tackled Erwin off his horse. Mike leaped forward to defend him, and Levi spun around, holding up his blades.

"Stay back." His voice was demonic. Sinister enough to stop Mike in his tracks. He turned back toward his prey. "Erwin. I'm going to kill you, you bastard. That's why I'm here." Erwin stared up at him, remaining on his knees, and pulled out a letter from his jacket.

"This is what I supposedly have on Nicholas Lovof." Erwin tossed the envelope on the ground, revealing blank pages. "Unfortunately, you're too late."

"What are you saying?" Levi asked.

"It was a bluff. I knew that Lovof was embezzling the military funds left over from the suspension of the Survey Corps these last few years. I spread false information because I wanted definitive proof to back him into a corner. Lovof was cautious. I thought he would make some kind of move first to confirm the existence of these documents. As expected, he hired you. Following his moves back from then didn't take much time or effort. I was able to obtain the proof because he panicked."

"Then why did you bring us to the Survey Corps?"

"One reason was your exceptional military prowess, but largely it was to use you as partners to throw off Lovof. There's no longer any need for that. The real documents have been in the hands of General Zackly for a while now, since the day you were captured. It's over for Lovof."

"…it wasn't worth their lives. It wasn't worth everything that happened to Miria…. They were nothing but pawns in your worthless game..." Levi's gaze hardened. "Well, you lose." He drew back his blade and brought it crashing down on Erwin, who blocked it with his bare hand.

"Worthless game?" Erwin asked. "Who's the one that killed my subordinates? The one that killed your friends? Was it me? Was it you? Do you think that if you had come to attack me together that the two of them would have made it out alive?"

"It was my-" Levi was unable to finish his admission.

"No! It was the **titans**!" Erwin's voice boomed through the field. "Where did the titans come from? Why do they exist? Why do they eat people? We don't know! We're completely ignorant, and as long as we stay ignorant they'll keep eating us. We'll never be able to turn the tables on them by staying inside the walls. Look around you! In this wide-open place, there are no walls, no matter how far you go. Here, there might be something to free us from our despair, but there are people who would keep us from leaving the walls. They stay where danger can't reach them, obsessively thinking only of their own profits and losses. It's understandable. The clouded eyes of mankind blocked for a hundred years by the walls, they can't see the other side. What about you, Levi? Have your eyes remained clouded? Will you kill me and return back to the dark Underground? Or will you fight in hopes of securing a brighter future for humanity?" Levi turned back toward Miria. For once, it was a look she couldn't read. _What are you thinking, Levi?_ "Fight with the Survey Corps, Levi! Humanity needs your skill!" Erwin paused. "From here on out, there's no deal. You're free to do as you wish." Erwin turned away and began shouting orders again. "Reform the vanguard! Meet up with the supply wagons and begin the preparations for the return before our losses become any greater." Miria watched Levi walk back to her slowly.

"What are you doing?" she asked. He picked her up and she clawed for Furlan's jacket. "No! No! I have to bring him home!"

"Leave him, Miria. We can't take him." Levi whispered. Miria squirmed in his arms like a defiant child.

"No! He's hurt! He needs help!" Levi tightened his grip on her.

"Stop it. Please…stop it."

"Levi…why are you crying?"

"I can't lose you, too." Miria glanced over Levi's shoulder at Furlan's body. _I don't know. Do what makes the most sense. I'll be dead. It won't bother me one way or the other._ She buried her face in Levi's neck.

* * *

Erwin rubbed his neck as he walked through Survey Corps headquarters. Levi's assault had left him more than a little sore, but fortunately, they had been able to make it back without much incident. He reached his hand out to catch the first few snowflakes of winter. The cold air chilled him, but not more than the sudden sight of Miria sitting under the tree in front of the women's barracks, blankly staring off into space. He noticed a withering pink flower in her hands. Her crutches were leaned up against the tree. Her bandaged knee was extended straight out in front of her, as the other leg was bent underneath her. Condensation appeared with every breath she exhaled. It was a small puff of fog, like she was barely breathing. She didn't notice him as he approached. He examined her pajamas—a thin shirt and thin shorts. They did little to keep the cold away from her tiny body.

"Miria? What are you doing? It's too cold for you to be out here like this." He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She looked up at him, as if she was surprised by his presence, only noticing him when he touched her. She glanced back down to the flower in her hands.

"I…I, uh…I saw this flower from my window. It's so cold out here. It was dying. I came out here to move it inside—into a pot." Her lip quivered. "But…but I just plucked it out of the ground." Tears began to flow. "I forgot to dig out the roots. I just pulled it out." She bawled, holding the flower to her chest. "I killed it! I was trying to save it and it died!" He couldn't take seeing her like this. Her sobbing, her screaming, her tears, they were all too overwhelming. _She really loved him._

"Hey." Erwin pulled her hands away from her chest and examined the flower. "It's okay. We can put it in a vase with water and sugar. It might not live as long, but I bet it would bring a lot of people joy while it's here." Miria looked up at him and sniffled, nodding in agreement. He smiled at her and helped her up. She handed him the flower as she held her crutches.

"Please be careful with it."

"Of course." He led her to the mess hall and she watched him carefully prune away the dead leaves and petals. He filled a thin vase with water, and dropped a pinch of sugar into it. He placed the flower in the vase and set it in front of her. She smiled for the first time, pulling the vase close to her. It was faint, but it was a smile, and Erwin felt good about that. He sat down next to her. "Levi told me what happened." Miria flinched. "He must have really loved you to stand between you and a titan like that." Tears began to rise to the surface again, but her smile never left. She wiped them way quickly, not that it did must good as more replaced them, and nodded her head.

"We talked about buying a small house somewhere far away." Miria said, keeping her eyes on the flower. "Far away from everyone." She laughed through her tears. "He wanted to be a blacksmith." Erwin sat there, letting her get it all off her chest. "We wanted to have a baby as soon as possible. We were just waiting to buy the house." She rubbed her eyes again. "If it was a boy, we were going to name it Ian. If it was a girl, Flora."

"After you mother?" Erwin asked. Miria nodded, whimpering.

"It…it was Furlan's idea."

"I'm so sorry, Miria." She started sobbing again, pressing her forehead against the table as she tightly clutched the vase.

"It's not fair!"

"I know."

"It's not fair!"

"I'm sorry."

"He only had to protect me because I wasn't paying attention! If I didn't rush in he would still be alive!" Miria slowly brought her shaking hands to her face. Her body shuddered. She knocked over the vase and Erwin watched both the water and the flower spill out. "He should still be alive." she said through her sobs. "…it should've been me."

"You need to get some sleep. C'mon." He rubbed her back until her sobs slowed. He helped her up, handing her one crutch at a time and led her back to the women's barracks. He tucked her into bed. She looked so broken. Erwin would have given anything to see her go back to the person that she was before. Even if she was yelling at him and insulting him, at least she was happy back then. "Good night."

* * *

Miria laid there for a while, listening to the sound of Erwin's footsteps fade. Then the silence crept in. Miria couldn't hear the nonsensical mumblings of Isabel's dreams. She couldn't hear the creaks of her bunk as she tossed and turned at night. The silence served as a reminder that she was utterly alone. _Levi..._ She tossed the covers off and grabbed her crutches, making the trek down the stairs again. She stumbled and put undue pressure on her knee, but kept going until she reached the men's barracks. _His room is empty, too._ She didn't care how much noise she was making. She reached his door and fumbled with the knob, finally getting it open. Levi stood from his chair, walking over to her.

"Miria-"

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" He seemed surprised by her request. "I just...I couldn't look at Isabel's empty bunk anymore." She glanced over his shoulder and saw Furlan's empty bunk. He must have been feeling the same pain. The same loneliness.

"Yea." He helped her into the room and into bed. Levi placed a pillow under her injured knee, and squeezed onto the tiny twin mattress with her. They held each other through the night, through scattered fits of sobs. It was the only way to tolerate their pain.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Note:** I can already tell this is going to be a 70+ chapter undertaking. I'm thinking about it now, and I don't even think I'll get to the main story line for like another 2-3 chapters (and that's a conservative estimate; it might be closer to 5-7 chapters). Also, I've added a foreshadowing paragraph to the beginning of this (similar to the one with Eren and Hange at the beginning of chapter 1). Let me know if that doesn't come across as clear, and I'll try to find a different way to make it work because I might do a few more of those.

* * *

 **Chapter 22**

* * *

 _Year 850:_

* * *

The young boy leaned out of his window, trying to get a better view of the approaching Survey Corps.

"Hey! Nina! Come look!" he yelled to his little sister. The tiny girl joined him, pushing a chair to the window and climbing atop to see what he was so excited about. "Look, it's the Survey Corps! They're on their way to plot a route to Shiganshina from Karanes!"

"Wow!" Nina gasped, far more interested in the horses than the soldiers. "Look at that pretty white horse! He looks like snow! And that black one next to him! They're so cute!"

"Jeez! You're so interested in the horses; did you even see who was riding them?" the boy asked, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Huh? Who?" Nina examined the man and woman on the horses. "Who are they?"

"You mean you haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

"You're clueless." He pointed to the man. "The one on the black horse, that's Captain Levi, humanity's strongest soldier. They call him Levi the Invincible because nothing can harm him!" her brother explained.

"And the woman? The one on the pretty white horse?" Nina asked.

"That's Captain Miria. You know what they call her, right?"

"What?"

"Miria the Blood-Soaked Soldier."

"W-why do they call her that?" Nina gulped. Her brother smirked and hovered over her, speaking in a low and sinister voice.

"Well…they say when she's fighting titans, she butchers them so badly that you can't see anything in the steam. When it finally clears…she's just standing there, surrounded by bodies…drenched in their blood." He let out a maniacal laugh and Nina kicked his shin.

"That's not funny, Arron!" She climbed back onto the chair and peeked over the sill, trying to remain hidden from the soldiers this time. "No one can kill that many titans at once…right?"

"You're right." Arron replied with a shrug. "Maybe they call her that because she's a murderer."

"A murderer? But…then she'd be in jail." Nina murmured. Arron pointed to the front of the caravan.

"Do you see that man?"

"Yea! That's Commander Erwin!" Nina said excitedly, happy to know at least one.

"Rumor has it that he covered up her murders because he's in love with her."

"No way…." Nina returned her gaze to Miria, shocked to find the woman looking straight up at her. She gasped and fell back off the chair.

"Are you okay!?" Arron asked, rushing to help her up.

"D-did she see me?"

"Who?"

"T-the Blood-Soaked Soldier." Nina mumbled through tears.

"Arron! Are you telling your sister horror stories again?!" a stern voice asked. Arron looked up and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

"Mom! I-I was just—" Nina's crying cut him off. She ran into their mother's arms and buried her face in her chest.

"What is it with you? Last week it was Kenny the Ripper, now it's Miria the Blood-Soaked Soldier. A ten-year-old shouldn't have such a wild imagination." she scolded Arron as she lovingly stroked Nina's hair. "There, there. Your brother is just exaggerating. These are just stories, Nina."

"But it's true!" Arron insisted. "I heard it from the survivors of the culling expedition!"

"Enough, Arron! They were probably traumatized. Civilians facing off against the titans like that…who knows how afraid they must have been! Fear plays tricks on you." his mother admonished. Arron crossed his arms defiantly.

"I know it's true." he mumbled.

* * *

 _Year 844:_

* * *

Levi laid in bed and watched Miria change out of her uniform and into her pajamas.

"Are you ever planning on going back to your own room?" he asked. She ran a brush through her hair and bit her lip.

"Do you want me to leave?" Levi knew the answer, but he wasn't sure how he **should** answer her question. He didn't want her to leave him alone in this room. He was so grateful when she came to him that first night, and every night that she had stayed with him since allowed him to ease some of the ache in his heart with her presence. But he shouldn't have been using her as a crutch like that, especially not at her own expense. She had walled herself off from everyone else since Furlan and Isabel's death. She had grown such a strong attachment to Levi that she practically refused to be anywhere without him…unless, of course, Erwin was there, then she would storm off, and Levi could always find her in the stables, whispering to Snow, temporarily easing her unbearable loneliness. _Leave? God, no._ It was the last thing he wanted, but maybe he should have wanted it for her own sake.

"No." He felt a pang of guilt strike him as he indulged her attachment. She crawled under the covers with him and pushed her back against his chest. _Just one more night._ He had told himself the same lie the past thirty nights as he buried his face in her hair and spooned her. He always needed just one more night, even if the time that they had spent together this last month was less than profound. All Miria wanted to do was train. So, Levi agreed. They would train for hours and hours every day, honing their skill and their coordination. It was effortless now. It was like he could read her mind through subtle movements of her body. He knew her every move, her every tell. He would have felt better about it if she were in a better head space. He thought back to the smiling girl that he had shared a dance with on that fateful night. It felt so long ago. He hadn't seen her smile in a month. He would have given anything to see her smile again. "Erwin asked about you again today." He felt her tense in his arms.

"So?"

"Have you filled out your reports yet?" Miria flipped onto her other side, facing Levi.

"I'm not filling out those fucking reports." Anger quickly replaced the grief that had burdened her face for so long. "Furlan wasn't some test subject. He died protecting me, not for their fucking research."

"Okay." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and she buried her face in his neck, gripping his shirt in two tight fists against his chest. He pulled her in closer. Levi could count at least five different incidents when Keith or Erwin had asked Miria to do something. They were, for all intents and purposes, orders, even if they sounded like gentle suggestions. She had continued with her training as if she had never heard them in the first place. Despite the leveled tone that she held, her temper had grown considerably. She was angry, and he understood that. He felt it, too. A few weeks ago, a squad leader had tried to tell her that she couldn't sleep in the men's barracks. Levi had stepped out just in time to hear the commotion. She stood there, completely stone faced as he yelled at her. She walked by him, ignoring his command, and when he grabbed her arm, Miria instantly threw him to the ground…hard. As he had tried to struggle to get up, holding his back in pain, Miria had slammed her boot down onto his chest, pinning him in place. There was a look in her eyes that Levi had never seen before. It was murderous. She hadn't spoken a word, but the broken ribs and sprained back that the squad leader suffered were more than enough warning for him to stay out of her way. Levi had wondered if that's what she looked like when she killed her father. It was chilling. Levi knew Keith and Erwin had been too uncomfortable to reprimand her, but he wasn't sure when that discomfort would begin to turn into anger. "I'm sorry…." Miria pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"For what?"

"If I hadn't gone off by myself—" She quickly covered his mouth with her hand.

"It wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for it. If I hadn't rushed in—" This time Levi covered her mouth. He gently leaned his head back, freeing himself from her hand.

"You can't blame yourself either. I've known Furlan for a long time, eleven years—since we were fifteen. He loved you. I've never seen him—" Levi paused. "If you gave him the choice to do it again, I know he wouldn't change a thing. I could tell from his smile." He watched tears spill out of Miria's eyes and onto the pillow. She gently removed his hand from her mouth.

"Then why do you blame yourself?"

"Because I let you get hurt again." Miria shook her head, disagreeing with his analysis of the situation.

"Erwin was right. It was the titans, not us."

"Then why are you so angry with Erwin?" Levi pushed. Miria's face softened with surprise. "Or are you just angry with me for not killing him…for choosing to follow him? And you're just taking your rage with me out on him?"

"N-no, that's not…." Miria hugged him tightly. "I'm not angry with you. I don't blame you. I know you were just trying to make the best decision for us."

"Then don't be angry with him, either." Levi whispered into her ear.

"I can't…I just can't."

"You can." He really just wanted to see her smile again. He kissed the top of her head. "We have a chance to make a new life here. Just try it with me, okay? If you really hate it, I promise I'll take you anywhere else. Anywhere you want to go. But you have to at least try it with me."

"Okay." She leaned her head back and looked up at him. "But…you're just as withdrawn from everyone as I am." He thought about it for a moment. It was true. He couldn't really lecture her on the importance of teamwork if he was unwilling to cooperate. _You taught yourself!? It was hard for me to even get my balance with the belts at first! Is there some secret trick to getting to the next level?! …Even a small hint would be good, though. …How about it, Levi? Could I get you to tell me your secret?_ He took a deep breath and held it. _I'm going to regret this._ He blew it out, shifting Miria's bangs in the process.

"I'll make you a deal." He visibly cringed and shuddered at just the thought of his suggestion. The words hadn't even left his mouth and they were already making him sick. "You make an effort to adapt to military life…and I'll teach Hange a few tricks with ODM gear." He looked down at Miria's shocked face. The corners of her mouth twitched into a smile, and she eventually started laughing. It was like a tranquilizer to him. It instantly relaxed him. It didn't matter that it was at his expense. He just missed her laughter and smile so much. It was incredible to have it back. "Shut up." he grumbled. It was a lie. The last thing he wanted was for her to shut up. He wanted to hear that melodic laugh and see that elegant smile for the rest of his life.

"Okay, deal." she agreed through her giggles.

* * *

Miria glared at the large pile of documents in her arms, trying to figure out a way to balance them. She sandwiched them between the wall next to the door and her torso, bringing up her leg to support the bottom. She knocked on the door.

"Come in." Her face steeled with concentration as she turned the knob and forcefully pushed open the door. She adjusted her grip on the documents and carried them into Erwin's office.

"These are the reports you asked for. I outlined every titan encounter on our expedition. All normal and abnormal behavior, the classes, any corollary data, and applicable speculations. It's all in here." Miria explained, glancing down at the pile. "Where…um…where do you want these?" She looked around the office.

"Thank you, that's very thorough." Erwin cleared off some space on his desk. "You can put them right here." Miria placed the pile carefully on his desk, adjusting it slightly to prevent it from spilling over. "Is there anything else?" Miria met his gaze for a moment, but shook her head no. _Just try it with me, okay?_ She straightened her body, standing tall, and saluted. Erwin seemed too surprised to respond.

"Do you need anything else, Squad Leader Erwin?"

"N-no…."

"Then excuse me." She turned on her heel and left, closing the office door behind her. A deep sigh left her. "That wasn't…terrible, I guess." Miria made her way to the training field and smiled at the sight of Hange and Levi.

"So…is it in the hip rotation?" Hange asked, glancing down at her hips and twisting them.

"No." Levi grumbled. "It's the momentum."

"But I have the momentum!" Hange defended.

"Not enough of it."

"Maybe we should start with something easier?" Hange's eyes lit up and she clasped her hands together. "Hey, I know! Teach me how you do that bungee thing!" Levi's eye twitched and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Huh? Hey, Miria!" Hange waved her over.

"How's the training going?" Miria asked.

"Lousy." Levi admitted.

"Aw…what are you two working on?"

"Levi's trying to teach me how to change directions while being reeled by the gear."

"Woah. That's pretty advanced. Don't you think you should start with something easier?" Miria mocked their previous conversation. Levi glared at her.

"That's exactly what I said!" Hange agreed excitedly. "So, about the bungee thing? I get how you do it going up and down…but what about side to side?" She held up the triggers and examined them closely.

"Let's take a break." Levi said, grabbing his jacket from a fence post and walking off.

"O-okay." Hange's good mood deflated and Miria gave her a pat on the back.

"Don't worry. I'll go talk to him." She followed Levi, hooking her arm with his and began pushing him toward a new direction.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"You still have one more thing you need to do." Miria explained.

"What?"

"You'll see." She dragged him to the stables and stopped in front of his black horse. "She needs a name." Levi sighed and crossed his arms.

"I told you, it's horse."

"No, Levi! A real name! You said you'd try." Miria chastised him, crossing her arms as well.

"Chicken." Levi suggested.

"No."

"I'm out of ideas." he grumbled.

"Really? After horse and chicken?" She rolled her eyes and something caught her attention. The black mare was disconcertedly eyeing a half-eaten pomegranate that had fallen out of her trough. Miria picked it up and held it to the mare's mouth, who gladly took it. "Hey…what about pomegranate?"

"Pomegranate?"

"Yea! You can call her Pom for short." Levi turned his attention to the horse and stroked her face.

"I guess that's not the worst name in the world."


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note:** I feel like there hasn't been a smut chapter in a while. Is that right? Well, here it is. Enjoy it, you sluts (jk; no but seriously: reviews).

* * *

 **Chapter 23**

* * *

"You look like shit." Miria remarked, putting pressure on Erwin's wound.

"Thanks. I feel like shit." he replied, laying across the operating table on his stomach. "So, what's the damage, doctor?"

"I'm not a doctor." she mumbled, gently lifting the gauze, examining the cut on his left shoulder blade. "You need five stitches and…" She pushed her hand against his lower back. He flinched and groaned. "…physical therapy. You have a slipped disk."

"Shit."

"It's just for a month. There aren't any expeditions coming up anytime soon." She wiped down his cut with alcohol and he gripped the edges of the table, gritting his teeth. "I'll try to make it quick." Miria diligently stitched him together, glancing over at his pained expression once in a while. "You're not flexible enough for those kinds of movements, you know?" she stated, trying to distract him. "You're lucky it was just training. What would you have done if you got injured outside the walls?"

"I would've never tried to move like that outside the walls. It was just a test of my limits." He grunted when she tightened the last stitch. "Levi's able to spin multiple times so easily. I just wanted to try it."

"…how'd it go?" Miria asked sarcastically, helping him sit up. He chuckled.

"Is that a joke?"

"Here." She handed him pain medication and a glass of water. "Let those stitches heal first. We'll start your physical therapy in a week. In the meantime, just stretch before you do anything…old man."

"Old man?" Erwin swallowed the medication and frowned at her. "I'm only thirty."

"You threw out your back. I don't think you can jump onto the youth wagon again." Miria snickered.

"I crashed into a tree, give me **some** charity." A faint smile appeared across her lips. _Stupid._ She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he carefully redressed. It was strange to be in such close quarters with him—to see him in such a vulnerable light. Erwin hadn't seemed human to her before. He was so…calculating. He was one step ahead of everyone else, to an almost omniscient degree. _Mind reader._ She had seen him fight a titan or two on the return from their last expedition, but Miria had been so traumatized from Furlan's loss that she hadn't really appreciated his skill. He was powerful. Almost as powerful as Levi. "Everything okay?" His voice brought her back to reality and her cheeks flushed when she realized she had been staring him just like the night that they met. She immediately turned her head, washing his blood off her hands. "You know you can come to me for anything, right?"

"General Zackly came to see me again today." Miria said, changing the subject.

"I told him not to." Erwin quickly added. "I'm sorry, I'll talk to him again."

"He's really insisting."

"Miria…I never meant for it to be like that." She looked up at him. He looked…sad…and vulnerable. "When I first expressed my interest in you to General Zackly, I thought he would just talk to your father about my intentions, and it would give us an opportunity get to know each other. I didn't think your father was going to try and force you into it. I didn't think General Zackly would be this insistent either."

" **You** expressed an interest in me?" She was more than surprised. The whole arrangement reeked of her father's greed. Could it have been that such a lucrative opportunity just fell into his lap by happenstance?

"Yea…you didn't know?" She shook her head and Erwin smiled. "The fifth of every month."

"…that's when my father had his meetings with the council members."

"And when you would convince Nile to take you to the Mitras Military Offices' library because it was the only time your father would definitely be gone all day."

"How did you know that?" Miria asked with a smile. It was flattering.

"Nile filled in the blanks for me, but I saw you. You were there every fifth early in the morning and stayed late into the night. A Problem-Solving Approach to General, Organic, and Biological Chemistry. That's the book that you were reading. It was your mother's, right?"

"Yea. I started going to that library after she passed away. I just wanted to hold something that was truly hers." Miria bit her lip. "So, why didn't you just come talk to me, then?"

"I didn't want to interrupt your reading. You looked so captivated by the book, I felt I would be doing something criminal if I disturbed you. General Zackly finally caught me staring one day and I confessed to him. I suppose the only reason he went along with it was because of my superb military prowess." She laughed at him.

"You're so modest, squad leader." She thought back to her exchange with Darius and sighed. "He did say he picked you because you were strong and you could protect me. But I don't need to be protected anymore." She clutched the silver feather pendant around her neck.

"I agree. You've become an exceptional soldier in just five months." Erwin averted his gaze to the ground. "...I regret it, you know?"

"What?"

"Delivering Lovof's documents to General Zackly instead of staying with you that night." Miria frowned and tucked the pendant into her shirt.

"You realize if you hadn't delivered those documents, we would have found them in your office, right?"

"I know."

"And the Survey Corps would have been all but dismantled." Miria continued, glaring at him.

"I know."

"And Furlan and I would have gotten married, moved to a house in the mountains, and had a baby." She crossed her arms.

"I know." he whispered again.

"Isn't it your dream to discover the truth about the titans? You would throw it away so easily?"

"Easily?" Erwin was dazed. "No, it wouldn't have been easy at all…but it would have been nothing compared to finding you that morning. I thought you were dead. I kept hearing your voice in my head and—" Miria quickly approached him, standing nearly chest to chest with him and staring straight up into his eyes. She flicked his nose with her finger. His face twitched.

"Don't be stupid." she chastised. "What's done is done. There's no use beating yourself up about it now."

"Is that how you feel?" he asked, running his thumb down the silver chain on her exposed collarbone. Miria shuddered at his touch and leaned into him. Erwin cupped her face with his other hand and she suddenly felt guilty. _Furlan._ She pulled away, clumsily stumbling in the process.

"I-I have to go." Miria ran out of the work space, not bothering to retrieve her jacket or explain anything further. She stomped through the snow and back to her room. It was still cold in that room. She had been sleeping in her own room for two months. Two long, excruciating months. She locked her door and changed into her pajamas. "I'm sorry, Furlan." She stroked the pendant as she laid in bed. The loneliness had crept up on her, and being with Erwin for that moment made her realize how much she missed Furlan. His laugh, his smile, his eyes, his stupid, stupid jokes, his ability to bring her out of her sour mood instantly, the way he held her, the way he kissed her, the way he looked at her, it was all gone. Miria hadn't just lost one person, she had lost each of these moments, each of these amazing aspects of him. It made her heart feel small, like there was no room for anyone else without erasing the treasured memories of Furlan that she had kept. She knew he would want her to be happy, but she wasn't sure how to be. She didn't want anyone else. She just wanted Furlan. Miria pulled her knees up to her chest, holding herself in a tight ball and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

 _"Crawl!"_

 _"Furlan?"_

 _"You can handle that, right?"_

 _"Furlan, wait!"_

 _" **Crawl**!"_

* * *

"No!" Miria screeched, lunging forward out of bed as if she were reaching for someone. She slammed her forehead against the top bunk and fell back. "Ow…." She held her dizzied head and cried. She couldn't take the loneliness anymore. She put on her sandals and ran out into the snow without any regard for the cold. She was just going to the men's barracks. It wasn't that far. Her feet were numb, and she shuddered as snowflakes melted against her bare skin. "Levi?" She opened his door and peeked in. _Empty…? Where is he?_ She ran outside again, checking the mess hall. No one there. She ran to the tower. "Levi!" she called out from the bottom, waiting for a response. Nothing. _Where is he?_ She rubbed her arms and looked around. _Alone. I'm all alone._ It was dark and cold, fitting for her mood. She began the trek back to her room when she noticed light coming from Erwin's room. She walked into the main building, climbing to the third floor and stood in front of his door. She knocked…hesitantly. Erwin opened the door and stared down at her disheveled figure. She was shaking and wet from the snow. "You said I could come to you for anything." she stuttered out. He pulled her into his office and closed the door.

"Are you okay?" He examined her carefully, pushing her bangs back look at the small red graze on her forehead. "What happened? Did someone do this to you?" He looked angry. Miria shook her head and moved into his adjoining room, taking a seat in front of his fireplace.

"I just…I had a nightmare. I hit my head."

"O…."

"Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"Y-yea…of course."

* * *

Erwin watched Miria peacefully sleep in his arms. Any attempt he made at rolling away from her resulted in a series of whimpers as she clung tightly onto him. It was hard to believe that this fragile little thing curled up in his embrace had single handedly brought down two titans, and assisted in the kill of a third on her first expedition. It was hard to believe that she had been responsible for the deep and sadistic wounds on her father. She hadn't just stabbed him, she had quite literally gutted and mutilated every part of his body. It was hard to believe that the demon the squad leader had blamed for his broken ribs and sprained back was **this** Miria. _Fragile._ It was accurate. Erwin often worried about her fragility. There was no doubt that she was strong, but she was ill equipped to control her temper. It wasn't her fault. After everything she had gone through, it was no wonder she reacted with such hostility, but it was still concerning. Sometimes he felt like she was like a child trapped in the body of a powerful soldier. The demons of her past would corner her into a whimpering lump of instability. Any threat in front of her, real or perceived, would be met with the full force of her wrath. Then there were those rare moments when she was the girl sitting in the library again: sweet, caring, and funny. Erwin pulled her in closer and she instinctively moved her head from his shoulder to the crook of his neck. Her lips brushed against his adam's apple and he swallowed hard, trying to move his mind away from the inappropriate thoughts. She threw her leg over his, bending it until the top of her thigh pushed against his groin. He twitched with excitement, but put his hand on her thigh, pushing it away.

"Miria."

"Mm…." She pushed her body against him harder and he suddenly realized that her hand was up his shirt, her fingernails lightly grazing his abs. He tensed and groaned.

"Miria, wake up." He pulled her hand away and flipped her onto her back. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at him.

"Erwin? What're you doing?"

"Me? You had your hand up my shirt and your knee between my legs." he whispered. Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned pink.

"I did?"

"Yea, and you were moaning. I guess your nightmares went away." She turned her head, her face getting redder. _Wait…._ "Were you having one of those dreams?" he asked, endlessly amused by the situation.

"What?! No!" She tried to sit up and Erwin suddenly realized he had her pinned by her forearms as he hovered over her.

"You're lying." he accused with a smirk. Miria stared back at him, tempting him with her eyes. She suddenly tore her brown orbs away from him and down to her thigh. He followed her gaze to his erection pushing up against her.

"Guess I wasn't the only one." she taunted.

"I wasn't even asleep." he replied.

"So, that makes yours worse." she whispered with a smirk. He had been edging closer to her without noticing, until their lips were centimeters apart. He felt her breath on his face and gently touched his lips to hers, waiting for a reaction. She kissed him back, eagerly opening her mouth for his tongue. Erwin lost control. He had spent so long fantasizing about this moment—about her body. It had been on permanent repeat in his mind. He had thought about all of the things that he would do to her if given the chance. He ignored the pain in his back and shoulder and pulled off her clothes. She was far more gentle in trying to remove his shirt. He put his hand over hers, letting them rest on his abs as he pushed himself up to a kneeling position and took off his shirt. He groaned when she sat up and he felt her wet kisses trailing down his stomach. Her hands tugging at his pants. She pulled them down just enough to expose his length. She gasped at it and that boosted his confidence. She quickly took the tip of it in her mouth. He suddenly realized that he hadn't quite accounted for the difference in their sizes. Would he fit in her without hurting her? She looked up at him as she worked him deeper into her mouth. _Fuck…._ Miria grabbed his hand and brought it to the back of her head, closing it into a fistful of her hair. He smirked at her. Maybe she liked a little pain. He pushed her head down onto him roughly, hitting the back of her throat. Her eyes rolled back as she moaned. The vibrations of her throat pushed him over the edge.

"I-I'm—" He spilled into her mouth and she swallowed it, pulling away to clean him with her tongue. He reached down and grabbed her thighs, lifting them up roughly and forcing her onto her back. He left a trail of bite marks and hickeys from her breasts to her inner thighs. He caught a glimpse of her scars in the fading light of the fireplace and covered them with his hands. It was too painful to look at.

"Erwin…." she begged, spreading her legs wider for him. He shoved his face between them, licking her pink folds and clitoris. He sucked on it and she arched her back, letting out a gleeful cry. He pushed a finger inside of her. Her insides twitched, tightening around him.

"So tight." he whispered, looking up at her. He watched her expression carefully as he pushed it further inside of her. She threw her head back and moaned, moving her hips to allow him in deeper.

"More." she panted. "Please more." He added a second finger, taking great pleasure in how wet he made her. "Please…please more."

"More what?" he asked, moving his face to hers. She begged him with her eyes.

"Please…give me more." He slowed the pace of his fingers to let her catch her breath.

"Give you more what?" He smirked at his game. She had always been in control. He loved seeing her desperate for him for a change. She groaned and threw her head back again as her rubbed her clit with his thumb. "Tell me."

"Please put more fingers in me." she pleaded, running her fingers through his hair and pulling his forehead against hers. He shoved a third finger in her and quickened his pace.

"Unh…Erwin please."

"Please what?"

"Please fuck me."

"Fuck you?"

"Please fuck me with your dick." He pulled his fingers out of her and positioned himself between her legs. She gasped when she felt him push against her anus. She quickly closed her legs and moved away from him. "Not there!"

"You didn't tell me." he replied with a mischievous smirk. She watched him for a moment. He felt a rush of excitement when she laid back and spread her legs wide for him. She moved one hand to her breast, squeezing it, and the other between her legs, spreading her lips open for him. She looked so erotic in the dim lighting. He licked his lips, waiting to hear her say the words.

"Please fuck me with your dick. Put it in my…" she turned her face away from him, clearly embarrassed by her actions. "…pussy." He gladly obliged her. It made him feel so powerful to hear her talk that way. This proper noble woman, who would have never even admitted to having such thoughts, had turned into a downright whore for him. He loved every moment of it. Erwin pushed his entire length inside of her, hitting her wall hard. She gasped and dug her fingers into the sheets, her chest heaving with every breath.

"So, you do like a little pain." he remarked, thrusting in and out of her roughly.

"Mmhmm." She closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep from screaming out. Erwin leaned in and kissed her, relieving her swollen lip. She moaned loudly against his mouth, only pulling away to breathe. She lifted her hips and he put one hand on her lower back. He shifted all of his weight on the other arm, his hand tensed next to Miria's head. She held onto his wrist as he pounded her, and moved the other hand down between her legs. She rubbed her clit and it made him crazy. "Ah! Erwin! I'm—I'm coming!"

"Fuck." He picked up his pace and felt her insides twitch wildly and squeeze him tight. It pained him to pull out of her, but he did. He covered her breasts and stomach in his cum. He shuddered when she wiped up some with her fingers and immediately licked it off. Erwin burned that imagine of her into his mind, for later use.


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note:** Chapter 24 already! How time flies! I'm assuming that I'll get to the main-ish story line in like 2 more chapters, and then the main _main_ story line in like 5 more chapters after that. I know I said I can see this being a 70+ chapter endeavor already, but now I'm thinking it's easily going to hit 100+ chapters because there's no way I can fit in everything that I need to without going into mass detail.

Thank you ClosetCase, Guest, and nene9131 for your reviews! I went back and fixed some stuff based on your suggestions! :D That being said-don't get attached to any pairing in my story because when I said I have no plan and no idea what I'm doing, I meant it. I'm just bumping around trying to figure out what feels right.

* * *

 **Chapter 24**

* * *

Miria rubbed her arms, trying to protect herself from the cold air as she completed the walk of shame back to her room in the middle of the night. Erwin had insisted she wait until her hair dried from her shower. She had insisted on leaving as soon as possible. She winced at her splitting headache and wondered if that was a mistake. He had then insisted that he take her back to her room because her sandals were hardly meant for trekking through the snow. She had insisted that she was fine. Her teeth chattered with every step, and she wondered if that was a mistake, too. Finally, he insisted that she at least take his jacket for the walk back. She had refused. She stood by that decision. She felt wrong, and weird, and didn't need any mementos of her emotional train wreck lingering in her room for an undetermined amount of days. When she finally made it back, she retreated into the comfort of her warm blankets, unable to sleep. When the first few rays of sunlight began to breach the dark, her mind was still racing and she just felt…empty. The time she spent with Erwin had provided nothing more than momentary comfort. As soon as she was back in her room, alone with her thoughts, it was like she had never stopped feeling this grief—this immense burden on her heart. She quickly hid her tears when she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in." Her voice was surprisingly stable through the sniffling.

"Hey." Hange gave her a soft smile when she opened the door. She stepped in and locked it behind her. "I just wanted to come check on you." She sat down on the bed next to Miria and rubbed her back through the blankets. "Are you doing okay?"

"Not really." Miria admitted, curling into a fetal position.

"Would it have anything to do with you sleeping with Erwin last night?" Hange asked. Miria's eyes widened.

"How did you know?"

"My room is right next to his. You two were not quiet." she said with a laugh. Miria groaned and pulled the covers over her face, thoroughly humiliated. "So, what happened?"

"A mistake." Her voice was muffled under the blanket. She took a deep breath and came up for air, staring into Hange's sympathetic eyes. "I…I had this nightmare, about Furlan's death. I just kept seeing it happen over and over again and I couldn't do anything to save him…." She pulled her hands up to cover her face. "I just wanted to see Levi. I needed him so badly. I just ran out in my pajamas and…he wasn't in his room, he wasn't in the mess hall, and he wasn't up on the tower roof. I didn't know where else to look. I just stood out there calling his name. …I noticed Erwin's light was on, and I just needed to be around another person. I was just…not in a good headspace, and I was just planning on sleeping in his room. I didn't want to come back here." She paused and sat up. "I keep having these hallucinations of Furlan. Whenever I'm walking alone…I think I see him by that tree, or I'll see him watching me when I'm with Snow. I stare at him, and he'll look at me, too. He smiles at me…like he's saying 'yes, it's really me; I'm really here,' and hold his arms out for me." Hange put her arm around the sobbing girl. "But every time I run toward him and I try to hold him…he's just gone. It's so hard, Hange. I didn't know it would be this hard."

"You're not the first person in the Survey Corps to have the ghost of a loved one following you around. It's unfortunate, but pretty common. You should ask Keith how many of those hallucinations he's had."

"How do I make it stop?"

"Trauma isn't that simple." Hange took off her glasses and fiddled with them. "…the reason I was so emotional when I first treated you wasn't because of your physical state. Your wounds were bad, and you had lost a lot of blood loss, but other than a few scars, I knew you would be fine. There wasn't anything physically wrong with you that would keep you from enjoying a full and healthy life. …but the mental trauma that you endured…something like that can break a person in ways that they'll never recover from. You can see it in the eyes of everyone here who has gone into an expedition with a friend and come back alone. I could see it in you long before Furlan died."

"So, what? This was just the catalyst?"

"You could call it that." Hange said with a soft smile. "…so, how was he?"

"I wasn't really paying attention." Miria admitted.

"Didn't sound like that to me." Hange teased.

"I told you, I just initially went over there to sleep somewhere other than my room. I don't even really know how it happened." Miria nervously chewed on her lips. "I guess…I was having a sex dream and I started touching him, and he woke me up, and it just all happened so fast from there. I was still spinning from my dream and—"

"He must've been pretty good if just lying next to him had you dreaming about him. Especially to such an intense degree that you started having sex with him in your sleep, woke up, and kept going." Hange joked, laughing at her friend's predicament.

"My dream wasn't about Erwin."

"Hm? Furlan?" she asked. Guilt began to fill Miria as she shook her head again. "Then who?"

"Levi." The admission came hesitantly, and once the name hovered in the air, Miria felt stupid. Levi had been a wonderful friend to her. He didn't see her in that light. How could he?

"It makes sense." Hange reassured her when she noticed her aggrieved expression. "He's always been there for you, through some of the worst things in your life. He's always been there to swoop in and save you when things got too hard. It's only natural that you would think about him when things got hard again."

"But he doesn't feel that way about me." Miria mumbled sadly.

"Do you feel that way about him?" Hange's question was a punch to the gut. It took the breath out of Miria. How did she feel about Levi? She had never really addressed it. She found him inspiring, and brave, and incredible, even before she met him, but she had jumped into a relationship with Furlan so quickly that she never really got to process how she felt about Levi. Levi had always been her protector and her savior, and she felt nothing but love for him. But was she in love with him? It was difficult to distinguish between the two. She had felt envious when Furlan had told her that Levi's excuse to scout the area was sometimes a hookup. But was that because Miria had wished it was her, or because she didn't feel some random girl in the Underground could be adequate for Levi, or because she didn't want to lose her friend to anyone else? It might have been all three. She couldn't really remember. She just remembered bitching to Furlan for an hour after the fact.

"I don't know." she finally confessed.

"Sometimes it's hard to know."

"Even if I did, it's not like I could ever tell him."

"Why not?"

"I just can't. If it were anyone else, I would, but Levi's friendship means the world to me. What if I tell him and it ruins what we have because he doesn't feel the same way? I can't take that risk. I can't lose him, too." Miria bit her lip and pulled her knees into her chest. "Besides, how would I tell him about Erwin? What would I even tell Erwin? What if Erwin thinks there's something more between us now?"

"Miria…." Hange smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I wish I could write you a happy ending, but I just don't know what the best thing for you is. You won't be able to spare everyone's feelings without hurting yourself. You won't know what other people are thinking unless you're willing to take the risks to find out. And you shouldn't feel bad about what happened with you and Erwin.'

"I think sleeping with my squad leader is pretty reprehensible." Miria muttered.

"You think so?" Hange asked.

"Well, yea. That's so out of bounds."

"I don't think the same rules apply to the Survey Corps." she explained. "You had a terrible experience. You're human. You needed comfort, and he was there for it. There's nothing more natural in the world." Hange looked down and smiled, kicking her feet against the floor. "Moblit has been on the receiving end of many of my bad expeditions. He spends so much time worrying about me that he deals with his own issues by drinking." Her smile faded. "I keep thinking I'll stop, and I'll tell him I don't need his help and he doesn't have to hold me through the grief." She laughed. "But every time it gets too hard, I end up in front of his door again, and he forgets everything that I told him before because he knows how much I need him."

"So…how do you get rid of the guilt?" Miria asked, scooching closer to Hange.

"Hm? I don't. It's always there, gnawing at me. If it weren't for me, maybe Moblit would have already found someone worth starting a life with. Instead, he's always by my side."

"Don't you think maybe it's because he thinks you're worth starting a life with?"

"I could ask you the same thing about Levi." _We have a chance to make a new life here. Just try it with me, okay? If you really hate it, I promise I'll take you anywhere else. Anywhere you want to go. But you have to at least try it with me._ Miria let Levi's words echo through her mind.

"It's not the same, Hange."

"You're right. It's not." Hange admitted. "Nothing ever will be. Do you love Erwin?" Miria shook her head. "Was it comforting, if only temporarily to have him there with you?" She nodded. "Then don't feel bad about needing that. Just be honest with him. You'll be surprised at how open he is." There was a pause in their conversation. "Don't be afraid to tell Levi, either, whatever you end up feeling. I see the way he takes care of you, Miria. Even if he doesn't feel that way about you, I know he loves you unconditionally. He wouldn't throw that away over something so silly."

"You're right." A tiny bit of confidence built up in Miria's stomach. Hange put her hand on Miria's forehead.

"Your body is freezing but your forehead is overheating. You need to stay in bed today and get some rest. No training."

"But—"

"No training." Hange repeated sternly. "I may not be your squad leader, but I'm a squad leader. Don't make me pull rank."

"Thanks, Hange." Miria snuggled into the warmth of her bed, shooting a final smile at her friend as she departed.

* * *

 _Miria's eyes fluttered open at the sound of birds. She stared up at the bits of the clear blue sky through branches of a large oak tree. It was beautiful._

 _"You awake, mouse?" She jerked up and spun around, her mouth hanging open at the sight of him. His shaggy blond hair, his light grey eyes, his smirk, they were all still the same—perfect._

 _"Furlan!" She jumped into his arms, and this time he didn't disappear. She hugged him tightly, enjoying the feel of his warmth, his every muscle, and even the vibrations of his throat as he laughed at her. He buried his fingers and nose in her hair._

 _"Why are you crying, mouse?"_

 _"I miss you so much." She pulled away to look into his eyes, but kept her hands firmly on his shoulders, afraid that he would vanish again. "I don't understand. Why have you been following me around?"_

 _"Hm?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "How would I? I'm dead."_

 _"I keep seeing you everywhere. It's so hard to be without you." Her tears refused to stop. "I wish I could bring you back." He smiled at her with those half-closed eyes, like she was the only one in his world. It was soft and comforting._

 _"Maybe that's why you keep seeing me." he whispered, gently wiping away her tears._

 _"Because I miss you?"_

 _"Because you won't let go."_

 _"I won't!" She clutched his vest, burying her face in his chest. He held her._

 _"Miria…."_

 _"Don't talk to me like I'm a child!" she mumbled into him. "You don't know how hard this is! I lost you! You didn't lose me!"_

 _"You're right." he admitted. "But you can't change anything about that. So, you can hold onto it for the rest of your life, followed by the ghost of decisions you can't change, or you can do something for me."_

 _"What?" Miria asked, looking up at him._

 _"Find love." a woman's voice said. Furlan looked past Miria and she turned around as well, smiling at her mother who stood there and watched them in embrace._

 _"Mom!" Miria stood and hugged her._

 _"I'm so sorry for your loss, Miria." she comforted her daughter. "I can't imagine what you must be going through." Miria sat with both of them, seeking advice and counsel._

 _"I don't understand what you two want. I found love. I found Furlan and then I lost him. There's no more room in my heart for anyone else, not without letting go of him, and I can't do that. I still love him, and I miss him every day." Miria explained._

 _"You don't have to let go of him to love someone else. Right now, your heart is full with grief, not love. That's what we're asking you to let go of." Flora explained._

 _"Then what do I do?" she begged for an answer._

 _"I don't know." Furlan said._

 _"Then what are you saying?" Miria was frustrated. She didn't want to speak in riddles, she didn't want to guess intentions, she just wanted a set of instructions. "What's the right path?"_

 _"I don't know anything that you don't know." he clarified. "But what I do know, is that I am so happy that I got to share the time that I had left with you." He took ahold of her hand. "I don't regret dying to protect you. I wouldn't change a thing about it." Miria's eyes filled with tears. "I didn't give up my life to protect our love. I gave it up to protect you. I wanted you to be happy and thrive, not spend your days crying in a dark room with my memories."_

 _"But…" Miria brought Furlan's hand to her face. "…I'll never love anyone like I love you."_

 _"You're right." She hated being right. "But I could never love you the way **he** does. One isn't more or less, or better or worse, they're just different because we're different people."_

 _"The way **he** does? Who?" Miria asked. Furlan and Flora exchanged a playful look._

 _"I told you, mouse: I don't know anything that you don't know."_

 _"It's time for you to go, Miria." Flora added, standing up from the soft grass._

 _"What? Why? Wait!" She desperately reached for the fading figures. "Wait!"_

* * *

Miria awoke with a gasp, her hand reaching for something. She tried to collect her thoughts when she heard pebbles against the glass of her window. She stood groggily, leaning against the glass and looking down at the man throwing them. He waved at her, and she unlatched and opened the window, stepping back to let him jump in.

"Hange said you were sick." Levi explained, closing the window and drawing the curtains to avoid being caught. Miria nodded and got back into bed, leaving plenty of space for him to sit next to her. He took his spot and frowned, pushing her bangs up. "What happened to your forehead?" He gently pushed his thumb against the bruised and scratched skin and she winced. "Sorry."

"I sat up too quickly and hit my head on the top bunk." she said.

"Did you have that nightmare again?" Levi asked. She nodded, snuggling closer to his leg. She always felt so safe with him. They shared a moment of silence before Miria spoke up.

"I came to see you after I had the nightmare. Where were you last night?"

"It got really cold during the night, so, I let Snow into the larger barn to warm up. I didn't think he should be out in that weather. It took a while to get him to calm down and get comfortable in there."

"You sat with him?" Miria asked with a smile. He didn't respond. Levi was always so quick to help. He took all of the blame for the things that went wrong, even when they weren't his fault, but never any credit for the thousands of things that he did right every single day. "That's really sweet. Thank you, Levi." She gently rubbed his knee. _You won't know what other people are thinking unless you're willing to take the risks to find out._ "Levi?"

"What?"

"Have you ever thought…." Miria hesitated, trying to find the best way to phrase her question. He stared down at her and she suddenly felt so afraid. What if she really lost him?

"Ever thought what?" he pushed.

"Um…." She suddenly didn't want to confess. She tried to think of a way to salvage the conversation. "Have you ever thought about what horses dream about?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You must've hit your head pretty hard."

"Yea, sometimes I wonder if I did, too." Miria confessed.

"The commander announced an upcoming expedition." Levi said, changing the subject.

"When?"

"Next week."

"What?" Miria sat up and stared at him. "But that wasn't on the schedule. Erwin just threw out his back yesterday. He won't be able to fight or—hell I don't even know if he should be riding a horse for an extended period of time. How are we supposed to pull off an expedition without the third highest ranking soldier?"

"I wondered the same thing." Levi muttered, crossing his arms. "Must be some political pressure to get results. Who knows? Either way it's happening."

"Great." Miria crossed her arms as well, unintentionally mimicking Levi's stance. "We have to die so some noble can feel like they're getting their money's worth."

"We're not dying on this expedition. Stick close to me."

"What if we're in different flanks?" Miria asked. Levi stood and approached the window.

"I'll talk to Erwin."

"Okay…." She watched him pull back the blinds and unlatch the glass. "Hey! Levi!" He turned to face her. "I have a few days off, so I made plans to go see Nile, his wife, and his kids in Wall Rose tomorrow. Since we won't have much time before the expedition once I get back…do you want to spend the night here?" Miria tightened at his expression. "Like, tonight. …with me."

"Sure." She let out a sigh of relief. She wasn't sure why she was relieved. Levi never said no to spending the night with her. Maybe her talk with Hange just had her on edge. She walked to the window and watched Levi jog to the training grounds. Maybe it was because she was finally asking herself the hard questions. _Find love._


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note:** This one is a doozy! I think I tried to make up for sub-par writing with length. I didn't feel all that great about it, but let me know what you guys think.

Thank you to ALuver01 and Lonewolfhuntress for your reviews! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the story! And yes, poor Erwin! He tries so hard but he can never quite catch a break! I tried to delve more into that in this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 25**

* * *

Levi frowned at Miria over his shoulder.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, turning his attention back to the shirt in his hands. He straightened it out and pulled his head through the neck hole. Miria gently touched his back, tracing her fingers across the barely visible scars that were scattered across his body.

"I-I didn't realize how many scars you had." She thought back to everything he had told him about his past—how his mother had passed away while working at a brothel, how helpless he was, how the most famous serial killer in Mitras had taken him under his wing and taught him how to survive. It was a rough existence. Miria struggled with her scars every day, but at least hers were concentrated around her thighs. She could avoid looking at them if she wanted to. Levi was covered in these tiny reminders of his past—a testament to how cruel the world truly was. Tears spilled out of her eyes endlessly as she thought about how kind Levi truly was. He protected the innocent. He put himself in harm's way for others. He was a good person. How could such a good person be forced to live his life in the squalor for all those years while monsters disguised as nobles roamed in the capital? His shirt fell over her hand, and she pulled it away as he turned to face her. She hugged him, wanting to provide him with the comfort that he had so sorely lacked his entire life. She had spent all day thinking about him, and while her questions of unrequited love remained unanswered, she knew that Levi was her best friend. She knew that he was a good man. She knew that she would do anything to protect him from the pain that he had been experiencing his whole life.

"You've been acting strange." he mumbled, hugging her back. She didn't respond, but just tightened her hold on him. "I've been absorbed into Erwin's squad. So, it looks like we'll be together for this expedition.

"I'm so glad…." It was barely a whisper.

"C'mon. Let's get some sleep." Levi said, patting her back. She nodded and let go, following him to the bed in her tiny room like a lost puppy. She watched him settle into the sheets, patiently waiting to crawl into his arms and rest her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Are you sure you're okay?" _No._ "Are you still having hallucinations?"

"Yea." Miria mumbled into his chest.

"It'll get better soon."

"I know." A cold breeze wafted through the room and Miria smiled. "Hey Levi."

"What?"

"The snow's going to be gone in a couple of days."

"Yea."

"I'm going to miss the winter." She closed her eyes and retreated into his warmth.

"Why?"

"It reminds me of when we met."

"We met in the spring." he corrected.

"I know, but I remember the winter before that spring." A yawn escaped her and her speech began to fade in and out. "I spent every night dreaming about you…."

* * *

Miria grabbed her bags and made her way outside, where her carriage awaited her.

"Ready to go?" Erwin asked with a smile, reaching for her bags. Miria pulled her arm back and held them out of his reach. "What are you doing?"

"You shouldn't be lifting anything, including my heavy bags."

"Don't be ridiculous. I can handle a couple of bags." Erwin held his hand out for them. Miria kept her arm stretched out behind her and stared into his eyes with a cynical look on her face.

"Reach for it." she demanded.

"What?"

"You heard me." Erwin swallowed and nervously leaned forward, stopping when the pain in his back made him wince. "I thought so." Miria walked around him and set the bags into the carriage next to his. She climbed in and Erwin followed closely behind her.

"Will I at least be able to ride a horse on the next expedition?" he asked.

"Doubtful." Miria replied stoically. She crossed her arms and legs, leaning back as the carriage began to move. "At the very least you'll have to wear a back brace, and you definitely won't be able to use ODM gear."

"That's a problem."

"Not really. You'll have me and Levi in your team. I doubt you'll need to engage at all. It's probably better for you and Commander Shadis to focus on operations anyways." she explained. "Why **did** you take Levi into your team?"

"He asked me." Erwin replied.

"And you agreed, just like that?" Miria raised an eyebrow at him.

"No, he had a compelling argument. One that I had been thinking about myself, actually."

"What?" She turned toward him, resting her arm on the back of the seat and propping up her head with her fist.

"Individually, the top five soldiers in the Survey Corps are a force to be reckoned with. You and Hange are very closely matched in physical abilities and skill—I'm sure in part to the training that Levi has been giving her recently. But there's quite a big leap in abilities from you to me." Erwin rubbed his chin in thought. "I've been thinking about new squad organizations since the last expedition. On the surface, it seems like the most logical thing to do would be to pair individuals or squads based on their abilities—so Levi, Mike, and I in one squad, and you, Hange, and Moblit in another. We could then expand the squads as we needed, but Levi brought up an interesting point. The way you two took down that titan—without even having to communicate—and the way you two can seemingly read each other's minds even during training drills, it would put your collective skill in a league far higher than any other Survey Corp squad—regardless of the size."

"Regardless of size? I think a hundred soldiers could probably bring us down." Miria scoffed.

"I don't think so." Erwin's expression remained serious. He locked eyes with her. "The way you two are able to coordinate your attacks on instinct is not something I've seen before. Commander Shadis agreed with this as well. We think it would be better for you and Levi to head up an elite squad in the Survey Corps. We could call it the Special Operations Squad."

"And what? It would just be me and Levi?" Miria asked.

"No, we could add more people to it once we have new recruits. Actually, we would want you and Levi to identify people who could work together at a similar level."

"And what would this squad do?"

"Special operations." Erwin replied with a smirk. She rolled her eyes at him. "For this upcoming expedition: casualty reduction. We lost quite a few people on our last run. I want to make sure we limit that as much as possible this time around. Especially since it seems like I won't be able to help if things get too out of control." Miria leaned back in her seat and stared up at the roof of the carriage. "So, what do you think?'

"Special Operations Squad, huh?" she pondered out loud. "I like it."

"I should mention, this expedition will act as a test run for you and Levi working together outside the walls. If it goes well, the squad will officially be formed upon our return, and you will both be promoted to captain."

"Captain?" Miria laughed at the idea. "Are you sure you want to promote a couple of insubordinate loners with no strategic experience that high?"

"I think it would be wise." His smirk never left.

* * *

"Miria! Be reasonable!" Darius pleaded, standing up from behind his desk and walking toward the pouting girl. She crossed her arms defiantly and glared at him.

"I don't understand why this is still an issue. I can protect myself!" Miria shot back. "I'm about to be promoted to captain for god's sake!"

"I'm not saying that you can't." He sighed and rubbed his temples, setting his glasses on the desk. "Your mother would want this for you. She would want you to be with someone who can look after you, provide for you, and keep you happy."

"I don't want to talk about this. I told you I'm not marrying anyone, much less my squad leader. I just came here to check on the businesses and make sure all of the managers were hired to run them so that you wouldn't have to worry about them."

"I appreciate that—"

"So, are they all hired?"

"Yes." Darius exhaled in frustration.

"Good." Miria turned on her heel and stormed out of the office, slamming the door shut behind her. She used to love visiting Darius with her mother, and genuinely looked forward to seeing him after she had passed away. Now, every conversation was about her engagement to Erwin. They had both told Darius multiple times that things were different now, but he had his heart set on seeing Miria safe in the inner most walls, doing something appropriate for a woman—like rearing children. It was infuriating. She knew it was coming from a good place, but hadn't she proved herself enough? "Did you have to go through this, mom?" she grumbled to herself in the hallway.

"I imagine she did." The voice made Miria jump, but she smiled once she recognized it.

"Commander Pixis!" Miria saluted and he gave her a pained look.

"Commander? I think I liked it better when you called me Uncle Pixis and hugged me. You're so formal all of the sudden. Don't toy with an old man's heart. Grief can kill us faster than titans." Dot joked. She laughed and ran into his arms like a child, hugging the tall man's torso.

"Did you hear my conversation with General Zackly?"

"Of course." Dot said, keeping his arm around her shoulders as they walked. "You never argue quietly. You must have inherited that from your mother. He paused for a moment, glancing down at her silver feather pendant. "I heard about your loss. I'm so sorry, Miria." She clutched the pendant tightly in her fist and stopped walking, turning her eyes up to Dot.

"I really loved him. He asked me to marry him. He was the only man I could see myself with, and now…how could I ever marry anyone else? Doesn't General Zackly realize how hard it would be for me?" Her voice was soft and low. The heavy wrinkles under his eyes deepened as he smiled at her.

"Yes…if you're going to marry, you should do it for love." Dot chuckled. "I remember telling your mother the same thing nearly twenty years ago."

"Did she?" Miria asked.

"Hm?"

"Marry for love, I mean."

"O heavens no." Dot scoffed. "She couldn't stand Ivor."

"Then why—"

"Your mother married him for his connections to the royal council. She knew she could only advance her research and funding so much through her military connections, but if she was able to have influence and sway over the royal council, she could truly help change the world."

"So, she never found love." Miria frowned, unsure of how to feel. Her mother had done something truly noble: she had sacrificed her personal happiness for the sake of humanity. But…there was still this ache in her heart. Her mother was such a wonderful person. She deserved to feel the happiness that Furlan had brought Miria. She deserved someone that made her feel just as loved.

"Of course, she did." Dot smiled. "She found love when she just was fourteen years old, and to the best of my knowledge, she never stopped seeing that man until the day she died."

"What? What man? Why didn't mom marry him?" Miria's face was full of shock. She had never heard this from anyone before.

"Flora was hesitant to tell me all the details, but when she was fourteen, she met a boy around her age who was running from the Military Police. She sheltered him and fed him. She fell in love with this criminal. I told her he might be trouble, but she insisted they were made for each other."

"How did she know?!" Miria interjected.

"She said she could just feel it. His pain was her pain. His well being was her well being. Despite being some tall, hardened criminal from the Underground, she said she knew he was a good man, and she wanted nothing more than to comfort and protect him."

"The Underground?" _Levi…._

"It sounds strange, doesn't it? A noble woman from Mitras and some thug from the Underground. Like a poorly written fiction."

"Did he love her, too?" Miria asked.

"I think he did. Even after she married Ivor and had you, he stood by Flora. Like I said, I don't know the details." Miria smiled and tightened her grasp on the pendant.

"It sounds like a fairytale." _I'm so happy you found love, mom._

"Commander Pixis." Miria looked up at Erwin as he walked down the hall to them. The two men shook hands.

"Erwin! It's good to see you. What are you doing in Mitras?" Dot asked.

"Miria and I have a few days off. We had some errands to run in Mitras, and we're heading to Wall Rose next to see Nile and his wife." Erwin explained, smiling at Miria.

"Well, then don't let me keep you. Have a wonderful trip." Dot patted Miria's head and gave her a playful wink before he took off.

"What was that?" Erwin asked, noticing the gesture.

"I'm…not sure." Miria responded, watching Dot's back as he disappeared down the hall. "He might think our trip is more romantic than platonic." she mumbled.

"O, is it not romantic?" Miria rolled her eyes and playfully punched his arm.

"Shut up. Let's just go."

* * *

"Captain?" Nile choked out between fits of laughter. Miria glared at Erwin as she chewed her bread.

"I didn't expect him to react that way." Erwin muttered, glancing down at his soup. _Liar._

"Leave the girl alone, Nile!" Marie scolded. She reached over the table and held Miria's hand. "Congratulations, Miria. I know you'll be a wonderful captain for the Survey Corps. I can't believe how grown up you are."

"Thanks, Marie." Miria responded with a faint smile.

"Yea." Nile wiped a single tear from his eye and let out another chuckle. "I can't imagine titans will want anything to do with you after you show them what a temper tantrum you can throw."

"You're lucky I love Marie too much to hurt you." Miria scowled at him. Nile stood from his chair, slamming both hands down on the table and leaning over it.

"O really?" He smirked at Miria. "As I recall, I kicked your butt every day during combat training." Miria followed suit, slamming her hands down on the table and leaning over to meet his intense gaze.

"Take it outside, then!" she challenged.

"That's not a good idea, Nile." Erwin cautioned.

"Sit down!" Marie pulled Nile down by the shoulders. "You two are worse than the children." Miria and Nile both plopped down into their seats, crossing their arms and legs and glaring at each other. Marie laughed and began picking up the dishes. "I'm glad you two could come visit. I haven't seen Nile this animated since your bar days, Erwin."

"Bar days?" Miria asked, raising an eyebrow at the two men.

"Yes. These two would come into the bar I worked at, every day after their training, and get rowdy and loud." Marie washed off the dishes and wiped her hands on her apron. "Well...Nile would get rowdy and loud. Erwin was always composed. Still, they were thick as thieves. After Erwin joined the Survey Corps and Nile joined the Military Police, I never saw Nile joke around with anyone like he did with Erwin. At least, not until our little Miria came along."

"He is a hard guy to like." Erwin joked. "I remember I befriended him because he looked so lonely and sad. It was pathetic, really."

"Funny. I thought the same thing about you." Nile chided.

"…so, did you two used to date…or?" Miria interrupted, glancing between the two men. Marie giggled and ran her fingers through Nile's hair, planting a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled at her and Miria clutched her pendant, feeling emotional over their love. Nile looked at Marie the same way that Furlan had looked at Miria. It was beautiful. "Marie!" Miria suddenly spoke up.

"Yes?"

"When did you know that you loved Nile?" Marie looked up, bringing her index finger to her bottom lip and tapping it in thought.

"I guess…." Her face lit up and she looked down at Nile as he also patiently waited for her answer. "The night I was short-staffed." Nile chuckled, obviously knowing the story. Miria leaned forward with her elbows on the table, anxiously waiting to be let into their secret world. "There was a really busy night at the bar, and I was the only server there. Customers were starting to get impatient and rude, and the next thing I know, this goofy soldier, who would always sit in the same booth as his upright friend, was calling out orders, helping me make drinks, **and** helping me serve them. He worked with me the whole night, right up until we closed." Marie took Nile's face into her hands and kissed him again. "I thanked him and tried to pay him, and he just saluted and said it was his job. He dedicated his heart to humanity."

"Gross!" Miria yelled out playfully, giggling at Nile's tacky line.

"Not as gross as what I did to her after." Nile joked. Marie smacked his shoulder.

"Okay, you ruined a perfectly cute story." Miria replied, leaning back in her chair. "So, that's when you knew you loved him?"

"Absolutely! He was there for me when I really needed him, and has been ever since. Nile originally wanted to join the Survey Corps, you know?"

"No!" Miria replied, shocked. She looked over at Erwin who sat there, quietly sipping his tea. Miria couldn't read him. He seemed so void of any emotions. How could anyone sit through Marie's story and not feel completely overwhelmed by her passion?

"O, yes!" Marie confirmed. "He and Erwin talked about it all the time. He only decided to join the Military Police so that we could get married and start a family." Nile glanced over at Erwin, and Miria caught something of a guilty look between the two men.

"I'm glad he joined the Military Police." Miria said. Nile turned his gaze toward her, and she smiled. "Otherwise I wouldn't have had one of my best friends during one of the hardest parts of my life." Nile smiled at her, and Marie hugged him.

"Ah, I really miss that bar!" Marie cooed.

"You know, I've never been to a bar." Miria suddenly realized.

"Never?" Marie asked. Miria shook her head. "Well that's no good! You're not a real soldier until you've been drunk at a bar!"

"Marie!" Nile scolded. "The girl found a way to hide in the Underground with a dangerous gang leader for two years while she was sober. What do you think she'll do if alcohol diminishes the tiny bit of self-control she has?"

"Hey! Levi's not—" Miria paused for a minute, trying to figure out how to defend her friend. Nile's statement wasn't inaccurate. "He's…"

"Please don't say misunderstood. My ribs are still aching from the idea of you being captain."

"Erwin! You should take Miria to that bar and show her how soldiers really let loose!" Marie cut in. "She'll definitely need a drink after being harassed by this one all night." She playfully pulled on Nile's ear.

"O, I don't think that's—" Erwin began.

"C'mon!" Miria begged, knowing he was trying to 'protect' her again. "You didn't get me anything for my last two birthdays. The least you could do is take me out for a drink to celebrate my upcoming promotion and let me experience an actual bar." Erwin stared at her for a moment, mouth slightly hanging open, probably wondering when he had been placed on the hook for her last two birthdays. He let out a small laugh and nodded

"Alright."

* * *

"So, do you want to tell me what that look between you and Nile was all about?" Miria asked, taking a sip of her whiskey and immediately gagging at the taste. "God, that's awful. Why do people drink this?" Erwin downed his glass and Miria pushed hers toward him, which he also quickly poured down his throat. She watched him in awe as he ordered two more drinks. He pushed the glass full of clear liquid toward her and she clutched the tiny thing in her hand.

"Take a deep breath and hold it." he instructed. She followed his directions, puffing out her chest. "Swallow it all at once and exhale as soon as you do." He demonstrated it for her, and she replicated his actions, shuddering as the alcohol slid down to her stomach.

"Still awful."

"You'll get used to it." he said with a laugh, ordering another two shots.

"Are you going to answer my question before I get too drunk to remember?" Miria could already feel her body tingling. She had never had alcohol before.

"Yea." Erwin exhaled, staring down at the small glass in his hand. "Nile and I both fell for Marie when we used to come to this bar. When he started rethinking joining the Survey Corps, I backed off because Marie deserved a husband who she could be sure would be home with her every night." He clenched his jaw. "Not a husband that she would wait at the gates for, wondering if he's even alive." _Sorrow._ That had been the look on Erwin's face earlier. He was so blocked off from the world, accepting everything, good or bad, with that same stoic expression. Miria realized how truly rare his smiles and jokes were. She had been so used to them. This man had opened up to her, and she had kicked him down again and again, thinking he was motivated by nothing more than his lust for power and control. He had been hurt by the world just like she had.

"Are you just trying to make me jealous?" Miria joked, trying to add some levity to the situation. He looked up at her, brow raised, but began to laugh when he realized she was just kidding.

"Maybe a little. I am a man with options."

"You're not very good at it." Miria remarked, haughtily taking her second shot. Her façade of confidence was shattered as her lip curled at the disgusting taste.

"I suppose you could teach me?" Erwin mocked. She met his gaze for a moment and smirked. She eyed the patrons and noticed an older, wealthier looking man drinking by himself.

"Watch and learn." Miria stood, pulling the v-neck of her shirt down low enough to expose a decent amount of her breasts.

"It won't work. I'm not really the jealous type."

"We'll see." Erwin started at her as she made her way over to the man and flirted with him. Miria accepted a drink from him and turned up her charm, tapping into the wealth of experience from her father's parties. She laughed at the man's jokes, far more than what was warranted, but perhaps that was just the alcohol taking over her. When the man leaned in to whisper something in her ear, Miria playfully peaked over his shoulder and toward Erwin, smirking when she noticed his white knuckles, but perfectly composed face. The veins in his neck gave him away. Erwin stood when the stranger's hand began trailing up her thigh. She wasn't quite sure what he was whispering to her. She was having difficulty standing straight, but kept her attention focused on Erwin. He cut into their moment quickly, grabbing the man's hand and pulling it away from her.

"Do you mind if I cut in?" he asked the man in his usual polite tone.

"Hey, what the hell—" The man tried to pull his arm away, but winced as Erwin's grip tightened.

"Really, I insist." Erwin said with an icy smile. Miria giggled, shifting her weight from the cocktail table to Erwin as he put an arm around her. He led her out into the street, trying to keep her upright as she stumbled.

"What happened?" she asked playfully, pushing her chest against his and bringing her hands up to play with the hair on the back of his neck. "I thought you weren't the jealous type?"

"You made your point." he said with a laugh. "Ready to head back to headquarters?"

"Erwin…I think I'm drunk." Miria said, suddenly with a serious expression on her face.

"You're not drunk. You're tipsy." he explained.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"Drunk people don't typically recognize that they're acting drunk, but tipsy people…." He backed away from her and she wobbled and reached for him for balance. He chuckled.

"Okay. Okay. Can we find a place to lay down?" Miria begged. Erwin looked around.

"Yea, there's an inn at the end of this road. Are you okay to walk or do you need me to carry you?" Miria grabbed his arm and slowly began walking.

"No, don't carry me. Your back." She felt so…loose.

"See? Drunk people don't think about things like that." Though slowly, and with a few stumbles along the way, they eventually made it to the inn. Miria leaned against the banister and stared at the flight of stairs in front of her as Erwin paid for the room. _I might really die trying to climb these…._ She thought back to her conversation with Furlan and laughed out loud at the irony. If she died by falling down the stairs, she would so rub it in his face in the afterlife. Miria smiled. It was the first time she had thought about Furlan without feeling miserable. She still missed him, and she still loved him, but it was the first time she had remembered him without the immediate wave of depression that seemed to follow. "Everything okay?" Erwin asked, letting her grip both his arm and the handrail as they slowly made their way up the stairs.

"Yea." Miria said with a chuckle. "I just figured out why Moblit drinks so much. This is great."

"That's healthy." Erwin jokingly chastised her. She flopped down onto the bed as soon as they entered the room, slowly kicking off her shoes and wiggling out of her clothes until she was down to just her underwear and shirt. Miria pulled the sheets over her and moved to one side of the queen bed. She stared at the ceiling as Erwin undressed.

"How come you weren't worried about me?" she asked, knowing how petulant she was about to sound.

"Worried about you?" Erwin repeated. "About what?" Miria turned to her side, holding the sheets to her chest.

"You said Marie deserved someone that could be home with her every night, but when you expressed your interest in me, you were already in the Survey Corps. Why weren't you worried about me having someone at home every night?" Miria pouted, feeling slightly hurt by the disparate treatment.

"I was being selfish." Erwin explained, sliding between the covers next to her. "I knew it was wrong to pursue you. You deserved to be with someone who could give you whatever you wanted." Miria moved closer to Erwin and he lifted his arm to allow her into his embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder and traced circles across his chest with her nails. "But I couldn't help myself." She smiled. _Why am I happy about that?_

"I'm sorry I didn't live up to your girl in the library fantasy." she taunted.

"Well, I never expected you to cut yourself with my blade and try to blackmail me, but other than that, you were better than the fantasy." Erwin replied. "Beautiful, but more importantly, fiercely determined, incredibly intelligent, brave, and kind. I knew you were the one for me the day that we met."

"You mean the day that I fainted right after we sat down to eat?"

"The day that you **faked** fainting right after we sat down to eat." he amended.

"General Zackly has a big mouth." Miria scoffed.

"Agreed, but not in regards to that. I knew you were faking when I picked you up."

"What gave me away?"

"I figured you were trying to get out of the subject at hand somehow. When I picked you up, I got a bad grip on you on purpose, and you tensed to stay in my arms instead of rolling out of them." Miria groaned in disappointment. "I never tried to inform any doctors. I just walked out into the street and walked back. Then General Zackly made that comment about your schedule, which we both knew was false. So, I asked him about the rest when we left. Of course, I had no idea how well planned your escape was. Do you mind filling me in on the details, now?"

"Sure." Miria said, shrugging her shoulders. "I found out that a man working for Nichols Lovof knew where Levi was hiding. So, I seduced him and he coughed up the information almost immediately. It was kind of sad, actually." Erwin chuckled. "When I was treating patients in the Underground, I asked them about all sorts of local legends, Levi the Invincible being one of them. Those that saw him would tell me where and I would mark it down on a map. My goal was to try and get some additional evidence to corroborate what Lovof's staffer told me. Just by coincidence, I ended up treating a man who was connected to Furlan…who was connected to Levi. I told him my situation and that I had money and information that could help them. He worked as a messenger between me and Levi. We staged a riot so I could slip away in the chaos, and then I ended up living there for two years."

"And what if you hadn't met that man?" Erwin asked.

"I would have escaped by myself and traveled to the location I already had for Levi."

"You really are just like your mother." Her hand stopped tracing circles in his chest.

"You knew my mother?"

"I met her for the first time at my father's funeral." he said. "I believe she had just gotten engaged to your father. She missed a large party in celebration of that to be with me." Erwin smiled, staring up at the ceiling. "I still don't know why. I was just the son of one of her friends from university, but she sat with me through the entire funeral, holding me and telling me it was going to be okay."

"So…you must've been around ten?"

"Eleven." Erwin corrected. _The same age as Levi when he lost his mother…._ They stayed up together for a few more hours, talking about their pasts and sharing their dreams in the moonlit room. Despite everything, Miria couldn't help but to notice how easy it was to be with him, and how comfortable she felt around Erwin. Maybe in another life they would have been good together as husband and wife, but in this one, she was just happy to have him as a friend.

* * *

"I'll be right back." Miria said, tucking some money into her pocket as Erwin packed the bags.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I just saw a shop last night, and I wanted to buy something before we head back." He nodded and she raced down the stairs and back up the street. The early morning air was so fresh. Miria smiled at the growing hustle and bustle of the quaint town as she made her way to the store across from the bar. She stepped into the tea shop and waved over a clerk. "Excuse me, I'd like to buy that teapot and cup set in the window." The clerk nodded and she gave him instructions on how to wrap it, and asked for him to include specific rare leaves, wrapped up and stuffed in each of the cups and in the pot. _Enough tea to last him for months._

"Wow! That must be for someone special!" Miria turned and smiled at Marie, giving her a hug.

"Marie! What are you doing here?"

"I was just picking up some things for Nile and the kids, and I noticed you in the shop. So, tell me, is that for a guy?"

"Yea." Miria blushed, looking down. "He used to have a tea set that looked almost exactly like that, but it broke. He really loved it, and he was so upset when it did. I thought he'd like this as a replacement."

"That's very thoughtful. Is this man the reason that you asked me when I knew I loved Nile?" Another nod. "Do you love him?" Miria exchanged cash with the clerk and carefully lifted the box that he handed her. She smiled down at it and bit her lip.

"Yea…I think I do. I think I'm going to tell him after our expedition." Marie squealed with excitement and hugged Miria.

"What a lucky man. Good luck, Miria."

* * *

"That's enough for today." Levi said, sheathing his blades. Hange did the same and stretched her arms above her head.

"Woo! What a great day of training! Are you ready for the expedition, Levi?" He didn't respond. He just didn't know. It made him nervous. He had lost Furlan and Isabel last time. Would he lose Miria this time? No. He wouldn't let that happen. No matter what. Hange suddenly laughed and he looked over at her. "I wonder how Miria and Erwin are doing right now. It's funny, isn't it? To think about the two of them stuck in a carriage together for hours and hours when she was probably the most insubordinate soldier Erwin has ever had to deal with. I mean, sleeping in the men's barracks would have landed anyone else in solitary confinement for a week."

"She was going through a hard time." Levi defended as the two made their way to the mess hall for dinner.

"She was…" Hange muttered. "…but that's not why she was sleeping there." Levi watched the brunette out of the corner of his eye. "She said she was worried about you. It was hard for her to see Isabel's empty bunk, but you had known Furlan for a long time. She said she couldn't imagine how painful it must have been for you." Levi stopped in his tracks. _Painful for me?_ All this time, he had been under the impression that he had been comforting Miria through her loss. He had never stopped to consider that he was the one who was being comforted. He noticed Hange smiling at him. "I don't think there's anyone in the world more important to her than you, Levi."

"I'm not hungry." he replied plainly, turning to head back to his room. As much as he tried to fight it until he was in the privacy of his own four walls, a smile overcame him. He loved her, and he would tell her after the expedition.


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note:** Yay! Chapter 26! I did the cover artwork and everything, so I'm super committed to seeing this story through to the end. I hope you guys enjoy it and let me know what you think!

Thank you, Lonewolfhuntress for your review! Yes! I love the manga. I generally make it a rule to write stories off of the manga rather than the anime because I feel like the 20-25 minute time restrictions on the anime episodes make it really hard to put in all of the pertinent information that needs to be there.

* * *

 **Chapter 26**

* * *

"Commander! The left vanguard has been wiped out!" a soldier shouted over his sprinting horse. Before Keith had a chance to respond, another soldier appeared.

"Commander! The left support teams and relay teams have all been wiped out! The cart guard teams are holding back twelve titans right now!"

"Twelve!?" Keith's face twisted in pain and anger. Miria exchanged a nervous look with Levi.

"Commander!" The command squad looked over their shoulders to a bloodied and terrified soldier racing toward them.

"Please let it be good news…." Miria mumbled, knowing what a hopelessly stupid request that was.

"The rear guard has been wiped out! Standby is holding back five titans right now!"

"Commander!"

"What are you orders?!"

"Commander!" The symphony of panicked cries surrounded the team.

"Full retreat!" Keith shouted, turning his horse and leading his team back to the wall. Erwin fired a signal from his flare gun, indicating the new direction of their travel. "Close the ranks! Levi, Miria, take the lead!" The pair quickened their horses and moved out in front of Erwin, Keith, and Mike. They had barely left the wall over the horizon when titans began to swarm them, and within a matter of minutes, half of the Survey Corps had been eradicated.

"Doesn't this bother you?" Miria asked Levi. He glanced over at her. "How many abnormals we've encountered on this trip? All in such a short amount of time?"

"It's no use trying to understand their behavior. Just cut them down." Levi replied, motioning to an approaching titan. It ran towards them, arms flailing wildly. "Ready?"

"As I can be." Miria muttered. One. Two. Three. Four. Seven. Twelve. Nineteen. Twenty-five. The bodies of the titans piled up as the wall neared. Despite their best efforts, despite their perfectly coordinated teamwork, Miria and Levi reentered the sanctuary feeling sick to their stomachs. Miria looked around. _Eighteen._ Only eighteen survivors of the nearly one-hundred-fifty soldiers that had left that morning. The jeers of the crowd didn't help matters much.

"Moses! Moses!" a woman's voice called out. Miria stiffened when she saw her: a distraught middle-aged woman with bags under her eyes and her graying hair pulled back into a ponytail. She quickly approached Keith. "Excuse me…my son…I don't see my son, Moses Braun, here. Where is my son?!"

Keith whispered to another soldier who walked past Miria and Levi to retrieve something from the cart of dead bodies. It was small and wrapped up in a bloodied cloth. The soldier gently placed it in the woman's arms as she sunk to her knees. She unwrapped it, and covered the severed arm as soon as she saw it, hugging it to her chest.

"That's all we were able to recover." Keith said to her. The wailing cries of Moses' mother filled the street. Miria's knuckles turned white as she gripped Snow's reigns. She replayed the moment over and over again in her head. _Moses! Grab my hand!_ She had him. He had jammed the titans mouth open and if she had just been able to pull him out a little bit faster, he would still be alive. _Failure._ She was a failure.

"Is this how you felt last time?" Miria asked Levi. Tears began to well up when she remembered how narrowly Levi had missed the opportunity to save Furlan. It was hardly even a matter of seconds.

"Yea." Levi's voice was hoarse as he watched Keith comfort the crying woman.

"But…my son was useful to you, wasn't he? Even if he didn't achieve anything directly, his death brought humanity one step closer to beating them back, right?!" Mrs. Braun demanded.

"Of course!" Keith replied from reflex, but paused for a moment. "No. Our survey this time…this time, too, we accomplished nothing!" It was an honest response, but Miria had never seen Keith like this before. He was visibly shaken, distraught, and saying things that she would never have dreamed he would, regardless of how true they all knew it was. "Because of my incompetence all I did was get my soldiers killed! We didn't get any closer to finding out what those things really are!" Miria turned away from the scene as the jeers continued. A small gasp escaped her when she noticed the young boy standing atop a box and staring back at her. _Eren. Is this what you really want? This pain of watching your comrades die over and over again?_ Anger replaced the shock on his face as he heard someone in front of him make a snide remark about the Survey Corps being 'snacks' for the titans. Eren slammed a piece of firewood against the back of the guy's head. Before Miria could react, another child grabbed Eren, and they ran off, leaving the man dazed, confused, and quite angry. She held back a smile. Strange how he had understood her question and provided her with an answer without ever exchanging a single word with her. _Then I promise I'll do everything that I can to keep you safe._

* * *

Miria wiped her forehead and blood streaked across the area her hand had touched. She loosened the tourniquet on the soldier's arm. _Seventeen._

"He must have bled out on the trip back." Hange said. "There's nothing we could do." The words were meaningless. The titans had swarmed so quickly and aggressively that it gave Miria and Hange next to no time to address the battlefield injuries.

"How are the other three?" Miria asked, removing her gloves and tossing them onto the cadaver.

"Their blood loss was too heavy. I'm just trying to keep them comfortable in their final moments." Hange admitted. _Fourteen._

"Fourteen survivors." Miria mumbled, locking her fingers behind her head and letting out an exasperated breath. "What the fuck happened?"

"There was no way to prepare for that. No drill that we could have run to prevent against it." Hange assured her.

"Wasn't their behavior strange to you? I mean, we made it almost all the way to the first supply point without encountering a single titan. Record time, even. Then all of the sudden dozens of abnormals show up and begin swarming from all different directions? I can't shake this feeling that we're overlooking something." Miria bit her lip and furrowed her brow in concentration. What was it? What was she missing? _Think._

"Squad leader." Moblit's voice pulled Hange and Miria out of their thoughts. "We identified two other soldiers with serious internal injuries. It doesn't look like they're going to make it."

"In addition to the three in critical condition?" Hange clarified. Moblit nodded. _Twelve._ "Please let—" Hange was cut off by the arrival of Erwin, Mike, and Levi.

"How are things looking?" Erwin asked, glancing down at the dead body in the room.

"Twelve survivors." Miria replied, crossing her arms.

"There's blood on your face." Levi muttered in disgust. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her forehead with it.

"Leave it. It doesn't matter." Miria said, but made no effort to stop him.

"Twelve survivors…." Erwin looked down at a tie in his hands. "Abysmal." He thought for a second again and looked up at his surviving comrades. "Not the numbers I thought we would have when I became commander."

"Commander?" Miria asked. He showed her the iconic Survey Corps bolo tie.

"Keith just asked me to take over for him. Which, of course, means that you and Levi have been promoted to captain. Mike has been promoted to squad leader." Erwin glanced at Moblit. "And Moblit…if you'd like, I would trust you in the position of squad leader as well." Moblit's jaw hung open in surprise.

"Thank you, Commander Erwin, but I think I prefer to stay with Squad Leader Hange."

"W-wait a minute, Moblit!" Hange exclaimed, grabbing his shirt in the forceful way that she often did. "This is a big opportunity for you! You've earned more than just being a recruit!" Moblit smiled at her and Hange frowned. "You don't have to worry about me!"

"He's not a recruit, Hange." Erwin corrected. The pair looked over at him. "Moblit is being promoted to the executive officer of your squad. You two will be making management decisions together." Moblit's smile widened and Hange resentfully returned the sentiment. Miria chuckled to herself at the thought of Hange knocking on Moblit's door later that night and insisting that he stop trying to protect her, but ending her rant with falling into him for comfort. It was a strange relationship, but a sweet one nonetheless. They needed each other. They made each other's existence bearable. Miria looked over at Levi. It was true for their relationship, too. She slowly reached up her hand, intending to wipe away the speck of dirt on his cheek. "Miria. Levi." She brought her hand up to her own face at the sound of Erwin's voice, awkwardly scratching her cheek and hoping no one had caught her failed attempt to show Levi a bit of affection.

"There is a class of seven-hundred Cadet Corp graduates that will be choosing their branch three days from now. I anticipate at least a hundred or so will want to join the Survey Corps. You'll need to identify soldiers with exceptional talent for the Special Operations Squad. I would prefer you hone in on those who can display a similar level of teamwork as yourselves.

"Fine." Levi huffed. He turned to Miria to speak, but the words never reached her. A deafening crash replaced his voice and the hospital shook from its foundation. Miria grabbed him for balance.

"What the hell?!" Hange yelled, running to the window. The few mobile soldiers followed her. Screams floated up to them as people desperately tried to pull loved ones out from under rumble and boulders that lay scattered across the streets.

"An explosion?" Erwin asked, glancing around. Miria pushed her torso out of the window, trying to get a better look. She noticed a silhouette against the orange and pink sky. Her blood ran cold. She felt her courage leave her body.

"C-commander…." Her shaky hand pointed to the colossal, skinless beast that towered over their fifty-meter wall, gripping the wall with one hand. _Colossal_. It was the most accurate description of it. Even against a setting sun, Miria could make out its pink and red flesh, the defined curves of every muscle, the off-white coloring of its tendons and teeth, and, perhaps the most frightening, its eyes. There was a ferocity in them, an almost humanity that she was unfamiliar with in other titans. "What is that?" There was a lag in response. Miria turned up to look at Erwin who was hovering over her as he hung halfway out of the window, examining the titan with the same fear as the rest of them. He had never seemed quite so human to her before—so powerless to it all. "Commander! Your orders? Should we engage the titan?" Her sudden call to his new title shook him out of his dazed state.

"W-what?" Erwin glanced around the room at the exhausted and injured soldiers. Only seven of the twelve survivors were capable of fighting, including Erwin. Capable was a loaded word. They were capable of moving, but their bodies had been completely exhausted by expedition. She was sure Erwin knew that. "No. load the injured soldiers and retreat to headquarters within Wall Maria. Leave the dead or near dead." _Leave the dead_. The words still haunted her. They scurried for an unbearably long time. They loaded the injured soldiers into wagons. They grabbed their possessions. They mounted their horses, all while ignoring the screams and cries for help of the civilians. It was a terrifying scene: people trampled over each other to escape the titans; people left behind the injured to increase their own chances of survival; a few loyal people stood with their loved ones until they were both devoured. People jumped from the edges of the docks, attempting to make it onto already full boats. The sound of their bodies cracking against the sides of the canal or boat made Miria cringe. Each horrifying scene played in front of her as she rode with her corps to the safety of Wall Maria. Blood. There was so much blood. Shiganshina had fallen. She thought about Eren and Dr. Yeager, praying they had made it out in the chaos. She turned away from the titan filled city as they crossed the wall, and kept her gaze forward. She had to focus on preventing any further casualties within the Survey Corps. The treatment of the injured soldiers was her primary goal now. They rode to the top of a hill, stopping only when another deafening crash echoed around them. Miria turned to the source and felt that fear again—the same fear she had been so accustomed to her whole life. Another titan stood there, smaller than the one that had taken down the wall, maybe only fifteen-meters, but it was just as terrifying. Miria examined its stance: it stood there, legs locked into a combat position, one arm outstretched to the ground, holding itself up for balance, and the other outstretched behind it. She couldn't see this one's muscles as well as the other's. Thick sheets of…something covered it like armour. Its eyes glowed, and while she couldn't see the intelligence in them, she saw the intelligence in its movements. The titan stood, the short tufts of its pale blonde hair moving in the wind, and let out a puff of smoke and fire from its mouth, as if it were celebrating its victory, celebrating the hole it had left behind in Wall Maria, celebrating the fear it had instilled in humanity.

"Do we retreat again?" Miria whispered into the wind. It carried away her words, never allowing anyone else to hear them.

"Hange, Moblit. Take the injured soldiers into Wall Rose. The rest of us will go to headquarters and pack up. Everyone reconvene at the Wall Rose barracks. Go!" Erwin's orders were clear and concise now. He had stepped into the role of commander quite naturally, especially taking into account the unprecedented disaster before them.

"Miria!" Levi called out, when he noticed her sitting with Snow, completely unmoving. She turned to him slowly, her face paralyzed with terror.

"O-over one third…this is…this is over one third of our territory. How are we…what are we supposed to do?" she stammered out. It was an uncomfortable situation for her. She always had a plan. **Always**. She was rarely without answers, or at least a means to come by them. This wasn't a situation she was familiar with. She had no answers. She had no presuppositions to build from. She had no experiments, no tests, no equations that she could try. She realized how tiny and insignificant her existence really was. Her mother had been a pioneer—a revolutionary, so she assumed it was in her blood. She was supposed to be that, too. Miria realized then how truly unimportant and powerless she was. She thought back to Erwin's face when he first saw the titan towering over the wall. Was that the realization he had, too? Levi brought his horse over to Miria and snatched Snow's reigns of her hands. She jumped at the sudden reaction and he led Snow, slowly bringing both him and Pom to a gallop.

"It's not our job to worry about that." Levi stated plainly. "Focus on the mission." Miria wondered how he could say that. How could he just focus on one thing at a time when someone much bigger was happening? She glanced over at the armoured titan again, like a petrified little child. Her lip quivered and her voice shook. She just wanted answers. She just wanted to feel safe again.

"Levi…what's happening?"


End file.
